TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

Byline: Joel Stratte-McClure

SO HEARTFELT: Why are Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant convinced that a guy taking his Valentine's Day date to "Music & Lyrics," which opens Wednesday, will be assured of a dreamy/steamy relationship?

"The sweeping romantic gesture in this film will inspire every couple," Barrymore predicted at the '80s-themed party in the Annex at Hollywood Highlands following the Wednesday premiere at Grauman's Chinese Theater.

"It's not a sappy, love-at-first-sight story but instead really illustrates what makes a relationship click."

Co-star Grant, who watched "Sleepless in Seattle" on his flight to Hollywood from London and munched on quiche while Tiffany performed old-school songs at the after-party, agrees.

"Yes, dammit, this will make every twosome, new or old, swoon," said Grant, who plays a washed-up '80s pop star in the film.

"I'll tell them where to start getting fruity if they give me a call."

There's another reason to make the movie a Valentine's Day present.

"You get to see Hugh in tight pants and me in almost nothing," joked Haley Bennett.

A number of budding and legendary romantics -- including Adam Brody, Sandra Bullock, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jimmy Fallon, Joely Fisher, T.R. Knight, Kyle MacLachlan, Emma Roberts, April Scott and Kate Walsh -- got an early start on Valentine's Day at the premiere and party, which benefited the environmental action group NRDC.

"Now we'll be able to pay for the enormous greenhouse emissions created by tonight's premiere, after party and gas used to get here and home," said writer-director Marc Lawrence. "It proves that the film is the fastest, most economical and environmentally friendly way for a guy to get in the good graces of a woman."

Sounds like a bargain.

UNDERNEATH IT ALL ...: "This has been a challenging year for publicists," emcee Jimmy Kimmel said when he kicked off the 44th annual International Cinematographers Guild Publicists Awards, which he nicknames the Pubies. "Sex videos, racial slurs, DUIs, no underwear. What else did Paris Hilton do?"

The guild's Wednesday luncheon at the Beverly Hilton, which recognizes excellence in film and TV showmanship and publicity, brought back memories for presenter Will Ferrell.

"When I grew up in Orange County, we used to drive up and try to get into the publicist's awards luncheon every year around this time," joked Ferrell before he handed over the motion picture showmanship award to Michael Lynton and Amy Pascal, the top execs at Sony Pictures Entertainment. "We could never get a table and waited outside for autographs. To be here right now, well, I hope I don't throw up."

Presenters George Lucas, Sarah Silverman, Adriana Barraza, Eric Braeden, Masi Oka and Julia Louis-Dreyfus were also appreciatively applauded for their potshots.

"I urge you to reconsider giving Nina this award or other TV executives across the free world will look like (expletive deleted)," joked Louis-Dreyfus after she described the "ridiculous success" that earned Nina Tassler, the president of CBS Entertainment, the television showmanship award.

Other winners -- including Bob Barker, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president Sid Ganis, publicist Alan Nierob, the publicity teams for "Ugly Betty" and "Borat," and journalist Bonnie Tiegel -- were also given an enthusiastic reception.

"I usually don't get this much applause without giving away a refrigerator," said soon-to-retire Barker, 83, when he was given the presidents award before leaving the lunch to host the 6,550th "Price Is Right."

DOGGED DEVOTION: Lassie, who's been in films for more than 60 years, stole the show from emcees Kathy Bates and Martin Sheen at AARP Magazine's sixth annual Movies for Grown-ups Awards on Tuesday night.

The collie pranced onto the stage at the Hotel Bel-Air to receive the Golden Chair accolade for the latest version of "Lassie," which also stars Peter O'Toole. Her seven-bark acceptance speech apparently expressed appreciation for the "Best Movie for Grown-ups Who Refuse to Grow Up" award.

Or maybe she just wanted to lick the Barcalounger-shaped trophy.

"This reminds me of a Bollywood movie," said Deepa Mehta, director of Oscar-nominated foreign-language film "Water."

"Little Miss Sunshine" co-star Alan Arkin outdid Lassie in the applause category when he received a standing ovation for his lifetime achievement award. Sheen, award-

winner Blythe Danner and presenter Eva Marie Saint each praised the best supporting actor Oscar nominee.

"He's tender, he's funny, he's mean, he's cranky, and he's sexy," said Saint.

Arkin, like other winners, received a lifetime AARP membership gold card that caused envy among "mature" guests that included Adriana Barraza, Doris Roberts, Louise Fletcher, Jane Seymour and Ed Begley Jr.

"Look how tattered my card is from using it for discounts everywhere I go,' said Begley, as he displayed his weathered AARP card. "I definitely deserve an upgrade."

Absent winners Clint Eastwood and Helen Mirren will be sent their gold AARP cards, but others will have to wait.

"Isn't there some way that I get an early membership?" asked Jonathan Dayton, the co-director of "Little Miss Sunshine," the best comedy for grown-ups, who doesn't turn 50 until July.

Ask Lassie.

CAPTION(S):

5 photos

Photo:

(1) BENNETT: Scantily clad

(2) BARRYMORE and GRANT: 'Music & Lyrics' is playing their tune

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

(3) BARKER: The 'Price' of fame

(4) LASSIE: Seven woofs mean 'thank you'

(5) ARKIN: No one upstages this guy - not even a collie

Vince Bucci/Getty Images