TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

Byline: Jenny Peters

NET ASSETS: Who'd have thought that all the young studs and goddesses of the Association of Volleyball Professionals -- including Olympic gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Eric Fonoimoana, as well as Hawaiian hunk Mike Lambert -- who partied along with a bevy of Sports Illustrated supermodels, including Marisa Miller and Michelle Lombardo, on Saturday night at a Nautica-hosted fete at the Saffire club in Hermosa Beach would look like amateurs compared to the old guys at Sunday night's Cedars-Sinai Sports Spectacular charity dinner?

Close to 2,000 young and old attendees turned out at the Century Plaza for the Sports Spectacular, an annual fund-raising event to help support the Medical Genetics Institute at Cedars, including an off-the-wall Tom Arnold, whose rambling rant practically got him booed off the stage.

Most of the big-name athletes behaved themselves, from honorees Jerome Bettis, Jimmy Connors, surfer Kelly Slater and Reggie Bush (who respectfully thanked ``all you rich, wealthy people'' for his award), to audience members Baron Davis, Luc Robitaille, Tara Lipinski and Jerry Rice.

The famous presenters -- LL Cool J, Duane ``The Rock'' Johnson and John Salley -- were pretty sedate, too; that is, until George Lopez took to the stage and caused an uproar with his foul-mouthed diatribe on Mexican immigration and his kidney transplant. So foul, in fact, that big John Salley grabbed him, lifted him up and carried him off the stage, accompanied by cheering from the offended audience.

``I want some of what George Lopez and Tom Arnold had, I want a double shot of that,'' joked Snoop Dogg as he followed that zany scene, causing one audience wag to comment, ``Who would have thought that Snoop Dogg would be the voice of reason of the night?''

Back at the AVP party, reason held sway, as the pro volleyball players headed out early to be ready for the final day of the Hermosa Beach tournament on Sunday. But both May-Treanor and Lambert lost in the finals that day, a reminder to athletes everywhere that partying the night before a big match isn't such a wise idea.

we saw U

At the third annual Jackson Hole Film Festival in Wyoming, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart came in from their ranch to check out award winner ``Stephanie Daley,'' produced by Ford's longtime assistant Samara Koffler. Actress Thora Birch hit some of the more than 80 independent films screened over the five-day festival, then sneaked away to the nearby Snake River for a whitewater adventure.

Pierce Brosnan and Keanu Reeves (not together, but there on the same evening), sampling the incredible fare at Wolfgang Puck's latest hotspot, the Cut steakhouse at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel.

Marcia Cross, in sweat pants and baseball cap, pushing her cart through the Costco near Marina del Rey.

Thandie Newton and Brett Ratner, deep in conversation on a couch in the lobby of the Chateau Marmont, perhaps discussing a role for her in Ratner's next flick, ``Rush Hour 3.''

Annette Bening, keeping in great shape, running with her St. Bernard on the Tree People Walk in Wilacre Park in Studio City.

Kevin Spacey alone with his cigarette on the patio at Social Hollywood, Jeffrey Chodorow's latest trendy place to dine on Sunset Boulevard.

Party boys Owen Wilson, Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr., all hanging out at the Roosevelt Hotel's Tropicana pool bar, along with David Spade and his dad.

Newlyweds Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, munching at Magnolia's on Sunset Boulevard.

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo:

(1) LOMBARDO, MAY-TREANOR and MILLER: Models and medalist

(2) BRATMAN and AGUILERA: Newlyweds on Sunset

Michael Buckner/Getty Images