TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

Byline: Elizabeth Snead and Jennifer Sklar

ROYAL RECEPTION: The enormous Universal Amphitheatre was an appropriately large venue for the muscle-bound premiere of ``The Scorpion King,'' the first feature film starring The Rock, the hugely popular knitted-brow World Wrestling Federation star.

Wearing a white suit that showed off his tan complexion and super-white teeth, The Rock (aka Dwayne Johnson) waved to his screaming fans in the theater, posed for photogs and gave lots of ladies hugs. Then, the lights dimmed and the real show began - a frenetic, funny action/fantasy epic.

After the resounding applause died down, the stars and filmmakers - including director Chuck Russell (``The Mask,'' ``Eraser''); Ralf Moeller; Michael Clarke Duncan and his family; Grant Heslov; the film's sorceress, Kelly Hu; Brendan Frasier (``The Mummy''); Bill Paxton (``Frailty''); and even a sideburned and mustachioed George Clooney (``Ocean's Eleven'') - made a beeline for the buffet of chicken kabobs, couscous, pita bread, string beans, salad, cookies, brownies and the usual array of celebratory beverages, laid out on the heat-lamp strewn lawn.

The Terminator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, wearing a brown suit and blue shirt, turned up, fresh from having gathered more than enough signatures (750,000) from California voters to give his education reform initiative, the After School Education and Safety Act, a spot on the November ballot.

Aside from The Rock's table, surrounded by burly bodyguards, and the crowd around no-press-please Clooney, most flashbulbs were on Hu, the tiny, taut Hawaiian-born babe who plays Cassandra, the stunning sorceress. Like almost everyone in the film, Hu kicks some major buttocks but does it in some magical Gucci-esque outfits (string bikinis, beaded wraps and caftans with no visible means of support).

``John Bloomfield, the costume designer did an amazing job,'' Hu said. ``They were so well-constructed that even though I had to fight in them and it looked like I could pop out any second, I always felt very secure.''

She does a lot more than fight. At one point, The Rock kidnaps her from her bathtub and tosses her on the back of a camel, naked except for very long wet hair. And there's a love scene that had the women in the theater audibly swooning.

``I know! I heard a lot of sighs!'' said Hu. So what's The Rock's lip lock like? ``It's as good as it looks,'' she said, with a sigh of her own.

Well-known British actor Bernard Hill, who plays Philos, the alchemist, said he also had a daunting role. He was one of the few normal-size men on the king-size set.

``They are all such pussycats, very gentle men,'' Hill says. ``But they really are giants in their own underpants. And they don't think they're tall. They think I'm small!

Must have cost a fortune to feed the lot. ``They don't eat,'' Hill confides. ``They eat like rabbits, very healthy. I never saw The Rock eat anything solid the whole time. Periodically, throughout the day, his assistant - his brother-in-law, I think - would come up and surreptitiously hand off a bottle of something. One day I asked, 'Hey Rock, what's the juice?' and he said, 'That's my protein drink.' I think it's more than protein. It's a strange color. One day it would be pink, the next purple.''

Hill will next be seen in the final two ``Lord of the Rings'' films - ``The Two Towers'' and ``The Return of the King.'' He plays King Theoden.

``I think 'The Two Towers' is going to be an even better film than the first one,'' Hill predicts. ``We enter the world of men and the first thing we deal with is the death of my son. So straight away, you're into the whole realm of human emotions - jealousy, love, loss and family problems - all the things we deal with in our daily lives and can relate to.''

JUST LIKE WHEEL LIFE: The Hollywood Palladium looked like the wrap party for ``Ishtar'' Thursday night, as Skechers unveiled its Four Wheelers roller skates at a Moroccan-style roller disco. A huge vat of hummus and pita greeted guests, including Danny Masterson, James Marsden and Erik Palladino, before they fought for bench space to lace up their new skates, which looked like funky sneakers on wheels. Guys grabbed basic navy, while girls chose among red, pink, baby blue and navy with glittery stripes. Some opted not to skate, but others could not fight the temptation to revert back to sixth grade and strap a pair on.

``I grew up on Rollerblades,'' was the common sentiment of the room full of a generation learning to skate the old-school way. Those extra two wheels take some getting used to. Most got the hang of it, including Christina Ricci, who wore a tiny khaki mini skirt, but the open bar and roller rink combo proved itself hazardous as many a drink spilled onto the already-slippery skate floor. A lounging area of velvety couches in the middle of the rink looked like a good idea, but the many revelers trying to dodge skaters on their way to the couches had a tough time keeping the ice in their gin and tonics. OK, so it wasn't exactly like sixth grade.

NO CLUE AT ALL: Talk about life, or in this case, death, mirroring art.

On April 11, Valerie Schields, location manager for CBS' ``CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,'' as well as the new spinoff show, ``CSI Miami,'' got a call from the Miami film office asking if by any chance the show had extended its filming and changed locations by five blocks, moving from 14th and Collins Avenue to 19th and Collins. The film office said it had gotten calls from folks who reported what looked like the TV show's crime-scene unit there.

Turns out that was a real crime scene cordoned off by real Miami Dade CSI officers. The police had discovered the body of a young girl missing for two weeks in the trunk of a car and had sealed off the area in front of the Rivere Apartment Hotel to investigate. The next day, the boyfriend of the young woman was arrested after confessing to the killing at the Miami Beach police headquarters.

Eerily, a similar incident is part of the plot of the ``CSI'' episode that was being shot that week. On that show, which airs May 9, investigators David Caruso (``NYPD Blue'') and Emily Procter (``The West Wing'') must help ``CSI'' star Marg Helgenberger solve the murder of a girl whose body turns up in the trunk of a car dumped out in the Everglades.

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1) HU: The center of attention

Gregg DeGuire/WireImage.com

(2) THE ROCK: Cooking on high heat

Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

(3) MARSDEN: No skate key required