TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

DELIVERING `CHILDREN OF MEN': Clive Owen loved the laid-back feel of the private screening of ``Children of Men'' at the Mann Village Westwood on Thursday night. There were photographers but no pesky journalists on the red carpet. He and co-stars Claire-Hope Ashitey, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Charlie Hunnam cracked up after a cameraman yelled, ``Look this way, Carlos'' to director/writer Alfonso Cuaron.

``They call all of us Carlos,'' Cuaron joked to his English cast.

Owen, wearing a brown suit and loose tie, casually hung out in the theater lobby for 15 minutes, munching on popcorn, drinking a soda and greeting friends and fans. No one asked GQ's ``best-dressed male'' and the erstwhile contender for the role of James Bond what he thinks about Daniel Craig in ``Casino Royale,'' or whether he feels mankind will wind up infertile and frustrated as it does in ``Children,'' which is set in 2027 and opens on Christmas Day.

Owen did ask Don Cheadle to take a picture of him with a fan who approached with her digital camera as Oliver Stone and Randy Newman walked by. Then he slowly sipped white wine and joked with Cuaron, Salma Hayek and Camille Guaty of ``The Nine'' at the Napa Valley Grille after-party.

``It's the Mexican mafia,'' Owen said.

All this was new and exciting for Ashitey, the 19-year-old Londoner who plays the first pregnant woman on Earth in almost two decades in the film.

``It's bewildering to be treated like I'm hip in Hollywood,'' Ashitey said as she watched Owen work the room. ``I'm still a student, but I'll get a dose of reality when I return to rainy England.''

SCHOOL'S IN: What were Ben Affleck and Ashton Kutcher doing at the premiere of a documentary directed by 16-year-old? Why did Bono permit a U2 song to be part of the soundtrack at no expense? And why did the 72-minute film prompt Oprah Winfrey to donate $1.2 million to a school in Africa?

``I actually have no idea what the film's about,'' confided Kutcher at a reception before the premiere of ``Ithuteng'' at the Director's Guild of America. ``I came here to learn.''

Affleck hosted the Wednesday evening presentation by The One Campaign and HBO to promote the film (airing at 6:30 p.m. Dec. 3 on HBO) about reformed delinquent students attending the Ithuteng school in Soweto, South Africa.

``That educational project and this elegant, noble documentary illustrate how a few individuals can dramatically change the world,'' said Affleck.

Producer Charlie Ebersol and first-time director Willie Ebersol, the sons of NBC sports chief Dick Ebersol and actress Susan St. James, are delighted that their $30,000 film has become so hot. ``I didn't know Ben Affleck was going to have anything to do with the premiere until I got the invitation in the mail,'' said Willie Ebersol, now 20 and a student at USC. ``He deserves credit for raising awareness about a documentary about hope.''

Does Affleck really think his presence and The One Campaign (www.one.org) to end global poverty are going to change things on the ground in Africa?

``The problems won't go away tomorrow,'' admitted Affleck, wearing the white wristband that's the symbol of the Global Call to Action Against Poverty. ``But being here tonight beats going to the Hollywood premiere of a madcap comedy about a guy getting hit on the head with a telephone.''

CONSPICUOUS ENERGY CONSUMPTION: If this is Thanksgiving, it must be Christmas. That's why snowmen and reindeer with sunglasses adorned the white carpet at the premiere of ``Deck the Halls'' last Sunday.

``I want everybody to start eating a lot, beginning today,'' said Danny DeVito as he, Matthew Broderick, Kristen Davis and other cast members turned on 1 million watts of Christmas lights at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.

DeVito's character in the film, which opens Wednesday, is on a mission to create the world's brightest holiday light display.

``Forget conserving energy at Christmas,'' DeVito declared after he switched on the lights. ``It's a time to spoil yourself. Eat, drink and light up the neighborhood.''

What causes guys like this to go on a festive decorating binge at Christmas?

``It's a male competitive thing,'' explained Broderick, accompanied by wife Sarah Jessica Parker.

``Fathers want to impress their kids with some kind of creative statement,'' added Davis, who admits that she discreetly puts a candle in her window during the holidays.

George S. Clinton, the film's composer, plans to reveal his festive holiday decorations on Thanksgiving Day in an annual effort to out-light his neighbors in Tarzana.

``DeVito's my hero in this movie because I'm always the first guy to turn on the Christmas lights,'' said Clinton. ``This year I'm going all the way with light-emitting diodes to outdo the kid down the street. My neighbors aren't too happy, but I'm from Tennessee. It's a genetic thing.''

Clinton gets support from one other actor in the film.

``Hey, it's only once a year, and everybody should get into it,'' said Jorge Garcia. ``Do you want to be the grouch who wrecks Christmas?''

Light up.

CAPTION(S):

6 photos

Photo:

(1) CUARON: `Children of Men' is his baby

David Livinston/Getty Images

(2) ASHITEY and OWEN: The British aren't coming -- they're already here.

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

(3) CHARLIE EBERSOL, ASHTON KUTCHER and WILLIE EBERSOL: ``Punk'd'' creator ready to learn

(4) BEN AFFLECK: A cause that refreshes

Vince Bucci/Getty Images

(5) CHARLIE EBERSOL, ASHTON KUTCHER and WILLIE EBERSOL: ``Punk'd'' creator ready to learn

(6) GARCIA: Time to shine - or else

Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images