TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

IT'S MURDER: Scarlett Johansson`s hair looked more like a '60s flashback at Wednesday night's premiere gala of ``The Black Dahlia'' at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (she wore a beehive upsweep and a retro-looking Chanel cocktail dress) on Wilshire Boulevard, but everything else that night reverberated with echoes of the 1940s, from Josh Hartnett's gray Dior suit to ``Dahlia'' novelist James Ellroy's tan fedora.

Fitting, since director Brian De Palma's interpretation of Ellroy's classic crime novel is a complete throwback to '40s film noir, a dark (and more-than-slightly jumbled) crime thriller set in postwar Los Angeles.

Hartnett and Johansson started their real-life off-screen romance on the set of the film, perhaps after she got a look at his on-screen love scene with co-star (and premiere no-show) Hilary Swank, where he bares all for the camera. Well, all of his backside at least.

``Brian and I had a few talks about that,'' Hartnett said, blushing. ``And he won! It's totally embarrassing.''

The couple, who hope that ``The Black Dahlia'' will stand the test of time to become their version of Bogart and Bacall's sizzling first film, ``To Have and Have Not,'' kept their distance at the after-party, each working opposite sides of the academy's transformed lobby, complete with groaning tables of filet mignon, giant prawns and spicy chicken.

They greeted well-wishers, including recent Emmy winner Julia Louis-Dreyfus and husbande Brad Hall, plus Sanaa Lathan, Izabella Miko and some of the film's other stars -- Rachel Miner, Gregg Henry and Mike Starr -- as well as its composer Mark Isham and producer Art Linson.

And as for the question of whether the world is ready for a modern-day take on the classic noir genre of ``The Black Dahlia''? Hartnett is sure of it.

``I'm obsessed with the genre,'' Hartnett said. ``I think it's a beautiful genre, and I hope this marks a resurgence of the noir mentality.''

ROCK STAR: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar towered over Dwayne Johnson at the premiere of ``Gridiron Gang'' on Tuesday night. But when The Rock crossed the 50-yard line on the green carpet (yes, there were lines every 10 yards) and entered Grauman's Chinese Theatre, he scored a touchdown when he addressed the audience.

``I want to acknowledge some very special people who've come a long way to be with all of us tonight,'' said Johnson, who in the film coaches/counsels a team of L.A. gang youths detained at the Camp Kilpatrick juvenile detention facility in Malibu. ``They're nine kids from the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and I want everyone to give them a very warm, loving Hollywood welcome.''

The crescendo of applause was much louder and longer than after the usual pre-premiere speech acknowledging studio heads and producers.

``Actors, directors and producers always get thanks and accolades at these things,'' Johnson said at the after-party in the Highlands complex before he left to greet his special guests in a private room. ``But these kids will never forget tonight's welcome.''

The film, based on a true story, may even impact the lives of kids who missed the premiere.

``A two-hour sports film with a message can actually make a difference,'' said Abdul-Jabbar. ``That's because kids today often have so little guidance at home and school.''

``Screen this instead of `The Longest Yard' in juvenile halls, and you'll get a much different reaction,'' added rapper/actor Alvin ``Xzibit'' Joiner, who plays another counselor in the ``Gridiron Gang,'' which opens Friday.

Even people not in detention got the message.

``I'm a big fan of true, inspirational and tear-jerking sports stories,'' said Arielle Kebbel (``John Tucker Must Die''), who was a football cheerleader during her high-school days in Florida before she turned to acting. ``And `The Rock' makes me cry.''

NO DESPERATION: Even though the setting for Wednesday night's PADRES Contra El Cancer gala, hosted by PADRES National Spokesperson and Event Chair Eva Longoria, was the Universal Studios set of ``Wisteria Lane,'' there were no fisticuffs with nuns or really bad behavior on the beautifully manicured lawns -- or at least none that we could see. The glam Hollywood crowd was out in force, including Brooke Burns, Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin, Carlos Mencia, Jimmy Smits, Wilmer Valderrama, George Lopez and Roselyn Sanchez, who said, ``This means a lot to me personally as my family's been affected by cancer.''

The Tampico Beverages Gala honored both Lance Armstrong (who jokily complained, ``I'm the only one here wearing black tie!'') and songwriter Denise Rich with the Champion of Hope Award. Lenny Sage was also honored, with the Ruby Oliva-Cedillo Tribute Award. The event, which featured a VIP cocktail reception, dinner, and silent and live auctions featuring one-of-a-kind entertainment items, also had a special musical performance by Johnny Polanco.

The auction items included guitars signed by Eva and Lance, but the highlight was when Eva put herself up on the auction block. With the help of emcee Billy Bush, she auctioned off a night out on the town with her for a staggering $100,000. ``Hey, I'm a fun date!'' she promised.

But if only one lucky guy got a date with Eva, no one left empty-handed. Gift bags included a copy of Maxim with Eva's sizzling layout, a Sackpack from Adidas and a selection of beverages from Tampico, among other items.

And no, that tall, leggy blonde staggering around Wisteria Lane at the end of the night with martini in hand wasn't Paris Hilton. Paris was apparently sampling cocktails elsewhere in what turned out to be a busy night for fundraisers -- and police blotters.

CAPTION(S):

4 photos

Photo:

(1) JOHANSSON: How is the hair up there?

(2) JOHNSON: A night for wishes

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

(3) HARTNETT: He'll bare it for noir

David Livingston/Getty Images

(4) LONGORIA and ARMSTRONG: Auctioned and honored

Michael Buckner/Getty Images