TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

Byline: Jenny Peters and Joel Stratte-McClure

HUG IT OUT: Andre Agassi began his long good-bye to the world of professional tennis on Monday night at the Gibson/Baldwin Night at the Net celebration held in conjunction with the Countrywide Classic Tennis Tournament. Agassi, who will retire in September after he plays his last U.S. Open, took to the court at UCLA with comedian Jon Lovitz, top doubles team Bob and Mike Bryan, and Jeremy Piven in a comical exhibition match, all to benefit the MusiCares Foundation.

Piven, who raced over late from the set of ``Entourage,'' grabbed his racket and blew excitedly onto the court, definitely needs some work on his game. It didn't take long for Bob Bryan to drill him hard in the chest, a moment that set off laughter among the assembled tennis fans, including singer Josh Groban, ``CSI: Miami'' star Malcolm Danare and comedian Judy Tenuta.

``I'll take you on in an acting contest!'' Piven gasped. Maybe, but those Bryan boys are an awfully handsome set of twins; they might just take him there, too!

Earlier in the evening, a large VIP crowd -- many sprawled right on the AstroTurf, as tables were oddly at a premium -- munched on Wahoo's Fish Tacos paired with Cabo Wabo Tequila, then bid on a silent auction that featured an autographed Gibson Les Paul guitar, artwork by Grace Slick and boxing gloves signed by Muhammad Ali.

Once the crowd filled the stadium, saxophonist Mindy Abair blew a jazzy national anthem, singer Brian McKnight did a quick set, and then celeb host Fred Willard, umpire Pam Shriver and ``the world's fattest ball boy'' -- Stench from Star 98.7 -- joked their way through the night's wacky tennis. Where else can you see the Bryan brothers hold hands while returning serves, or hear Andre Agassi (all players wore mikes) yelling to Jeremy Piven to ``get down, partner, get down!'' as he whizzed balls past his head?

Fortunately, Piven only got beaned that one time, and by the time the riotous match was over, everyone was all smiles. Except for that twinge of sadness at the thought that Agassi, a fixture at the annual event, will not be a part of it next year.

GOOD KNIGHT: What were Gandalf from ``The Lord of the Rings,'' Holy Grail scholar Sir Leigh Teabing of ``The Da Vinci Code'' and Magneto from the ``X-Men'' series doing at the Freud Playhouse at UCLA last Sunday night?

They were all being portrayed on stage by Sir Ian McKellen, the knighted award-winning actor who played them on the screen, at a benefit performance of his updated one-man show, ``A Knight Out in L.A.'' McKellen gave renditions of his other cinematic roles and also read from the Bible, Shakespeare, Roget's Thesaurus (yes, Roget's Thesaurus) and a new work by Armistead Maupin.

Annie Lennox was so excited about getting a good seat that she climbed over two rows of chairs to sit next to Trudi Styler to watch McKellen's hilarious spoof about being knighted at Buckingham Palace.

``Most of the new material is from my recent films, and I put the whole thing together to benefit the Los Angeles Young Actors' Company,'' McKellen said during a private reception at the Napa Valley Grille. ``It's a first stab at a brand-new show that I might call `A Knight at the Movies.'''

McKellen held court and spoke to guests on the outdoor terrace at the Westwood restaurant, Styler gave Gore Vidal a kiss on both cheeks, and Michael York drank sparkling water from a bottle.

Actor and gay activist McKellen plans to return to London for a five-month vacation until he begins rehearsing ``King Lear'' in January.

``I'm going to sit at home and not do a thing for the rest of the year,'' he said as he slowly sipped a glass of red wine. ``I'm not yet drunk, but I will be quite soon. And after `King Lear,' I'll probably die or retire.''

IN THIS TOGETHER: We went to a garden party last Sunday, and while the late Ricky Nelson wasn't there singing his signature song, it was certainly appropriate, as all the friends of the American Cancer Society were there. It was the California Spirit XXII party, held on the spacious lawn of the Ken Roberts estate in Brentwood's Mandeville Canyon, hosted by Wolfgang Puck, Sherry Lansing and Barbara Lazaroff, who started these annual fund-raisers all those years ago.

The gourmet garden party drew the best of L.A.'s restaurants, with groaning tables of delicious food scattered all across the grass. There was a long line for the Spago lamb chops and Matsuhisa spicy tuna rolls; handsome Chef Govind Armstrong of Table 8 enticed with braised short ribs on grilled sourdough; and Providence, Valentino, Angelini Osteria, the Belvedere at the Peninsula Hotel and Chinois on Main offered up delicacies galore.

Power couple -- and fellow cancer survivors -- Richard Donner (director of ``Lethal Weapon,'' ``Maverick'' and the recent ``16 Blocks'') and Lauren Shuler Donner (producer of the ``X-Men'' series) were honored with the organization's Spirit of Life Award as friends and family looked on.

``This means a lot to us, because Dick and I have both had cancer,'' Shuler Donner said. ``So, for me, the work that the American Cancer Society does is very personal. And when you have cancer, no matter how much support you have, there is a moment in the middle of the night when you wake up and you go, `Oh, my God!' They have an 800 number that you can call at any time, and they'll talk you down, which I think is really crucial.''

Judge Diane Wayne was also honored, and we spotted ``Superman Returns'' director Bryan Singer keeping a low profile, despite his reportedly more-than-generous contribution to the cause of eradicating cancer. Overall, nearly $650,000 was raised at the garden party, proving that once in a while you can please everyone.

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1) AGASSI: Have serve, will pummel.

(2) BRYAN and BRYAN: Can somebody say, ``Doublemint''?

(3) Lauren Shuler Donner, left, Richard Donner, Barbara Lazaroff and Diane Wayne brave the heat at the California Spirit XXII party in Brentwood.