TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

Byline: Joel Stratte-McClure

TEENS SEEN: Why did onlooking fans applaud Rod Stewart's daughter Kimberly when she arrived at a Teen People party at Element last Tuesday night?

Maybe because the 26-year-old was wearing a real live teen on her arm. That, of course, would be 19-year-old fiance Talan Torriero.

They also clapped for Lindsay Lohan, also 19, who showed up early with a younger date, her kid sister Aliana. But don't worry. The older Lohan definitely wore the sexier, shorter and blacker dress.

Paris Hilton, 24, acted like a teen inside the party honoring Shakira, 28, who limoed over after receiving the prize for favorite Latin music artist at the American Music Awards.

Hilton spent the evening at a table near the bar running her fingers through the long mane of boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III. Maybe it was because of the thundering music, but she and her younger partner don't even pretend to have deep discussions.

Eighteen-year-olds Hilary Duff, Lauren Storm and Bow Wow partied with younger teens Aly and AJ. Oldsters, including John Stamos, Ciara, Jesse McCartney, Devon Aoki, Nicky Hilton and JC Chasez, encircled the low tables, visited the chocolate fountain, checked out videos of Shakira on the plasma screens and heard Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte.

``I always come to a party where there's always a chance that Shakira will do a belly dance,'' said Chasez.

That night he was out of luck.

GET DOWD AND BOOGIE: ``You dated me for a while!'' a fawning Aaron Sorkin said to Maureen Dowd during a chat about her new book at Temple Emanuel in Beverly Hills on Monday night. ``What was that like?''

The writer/producer kept it up close and personal with the New York Times columnist and author of ``Are Men Necessary?'' During a $20-a-head evening hosted by the Writers Bloc, Sorkin didn't bother to contest the book's controversial title and premise.

``I'm not going to even attempt to make the case that men are necessary,'' said Sorkin, calling Dowd ``one of the most respected and revered columnists in the country.'' Then he made another personal admission.

``When I write dialogue for a woman, I often think about you,'' he said, adding that Dowd's beauty ``inspires jealousy in other women.''

Despite the maudlin ``compliments,'' Dowd had time to take potshots at Hollywood, Saudi Arabia, chromosomes, parenting, child-rearing, politics and the status of the sexual revolution.

``Remarkably, many women today want to be sex objects again,'' Dowd proclaimed. ``When Gloria Steinem said 'all women are bunnies,' that was supposed to be a call to arms, not a recommendation.''

And what perplexes her about Hollywood?

``I'm curious about why, when women are running four of the six major studios, Hollywood is still making movies with heroines who are shop girls, hookers and geishas,'' Dowd said.

Do men have anything to fear from a book that claims many males are afraid to date smart women?

``It's playful - and intended to cause men and women to talk to each other about how they collide and cuddle in work, at play, in movies and in politics,'' Dowd said. ``And it's practical. Take it to a restaurant, and I guarantee someone will come up to you and start a conversation about it.''

Unless it's Aaron Sorkin.

HOT SEATS: What did one of the ``Desperate Housewives'' give to the others this season to acknowledge their mutual success?

``Eva Longoria called and said she wanted the Cadillac of director/set chairs,'' said Tom Sullivan, the founder and president of Hollywood Chairs. ``She was very insistent that they be the best of the best.''

The five customized high-end chairs that Longoria bought her co-stars definitely allow the ``Housewives'' to sit pretty. They have thick seats and padded backrests, drink holders, swiveling laptop computer tables, hanging script bags and extended footrests.

And their names or nicknames - Teri, Flicka (a k a Felicity Huffman), Lil' Eva, Naughty Nic and Marcia - are embroidered in pink on the black cloth next to a ``Desperate Housewives'' logo.

Longoria isn't the first to get hooked on the hot seats. Barbara Walters has given them as Christmas gifts and they're used by the casts of ``Lost,'' ``24,'' ``Alias,'' ``The Sopranos,'' ``The West Wing'' and ``ER.'' Individual fans include James Cameron, Jack Nicholson, Drew Carey, Steven Spielberg and Pamela Anderson.

Jerry Seinfeld is said to have cracked when he got his: ``If I had a chair this nice, I wouldn't have ended the show.'' And an actor (not Dustin Hoffman) on ``Wag the Dog'' held up production for a day until he got his own Hollywood Chair. ``We charged them double to make one overnight and get it to New York,'' said Sullivan. Whoever the actor was, he was even more desperate than the housewives.

WE SAW U: ``CSI: Miami'' star Emily Procter hosting a fashion show fundraiser for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital at Meson G in Hollywood. She was joined by Amber Valletta, ``Lost'' alum Maggie Grace, Amy Smart, Katherine Heigl of ``Grey's Anatomy,'' ``Nip/Tuck's'' Kelly Carlson and January Jones.

Matthew Perry, in a T-shirt and jeans, at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on the corner of Robertson and Beverly boulevards.

Eva Mendes, Jessica Biel and Amber Valetta at the Ambrose Hotel in Santa Monica, where Mendes was named the charity ambassador for BeMoreYou.com.

CAPTION(S):

4 photos

Photo:

(1) TORRIERO and STEWART: Super couple in training.

Michael Buckner/Getty Images

(2) DOWD: The face that inspired a thousand ``West Wing'' speeches.

Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com

(3) PROCTER: Giving back.

David Livingston/Getty Images

(4) ``DESPERATE'' CASTMATES: A little Christmas chair.