TINSELTOWN SPYWITNESS.

Byline: Elizabeth Snead and Jenny Peters

WOMEN'S NIGHT - AND THEY ROCK: Maybe it was the pain pills in action, but Charlize Theron got wacky Tuesday night, racing off the stage at the Premiere magazine Women in Hollywood Awards in order to actually kiss Shirley MacLaine's rear end. Medicated for a pinched nerve in her neck, Theron talked slow but moved fast, despite those black stilettos. ``I'm on drugs, so anything goes,'' the Icon Award winner chortled. Theron's homage to MacLaine, who was also one of the night's Icon winners, followed much gushing over the septuagenarian by honorees and presenters alike, beginning with Laura Linney and continuing with Rachel Weisz, Lindsay Lohan and Reese Witherspoon. ``That's the best I've had all year ... for the past 10 years, really,'' MacLaine cracked, referring to that butt buss when accepting her award after a standing ovation and an effusive intro by Diane Lane.

Despite the slightly childish (but very funny) behavior on stage, the 12th annual awards are all grown up this year, shifting from being an afternoon luncheon to a dinner gala, held at the Beverly Hilton and to be aired on AMC on Oct. 2. The lure of television exposure brought out tons of beautiful Hollywood females, and most got the memo that when it comes to fall style: Black is the new black. Joely Richardson wore a satiny black slacks suit, while Elisabeth Rohm, Emily Mortimer, Molly Sims, Monet Mazur and Kim Raver all did variations of the little black dress. Jane Seymour went against the tide in soft blue, while Jane Kaczmarek wore brown, and costume designer Sophie De Rakoff, the very pregnant honoree, did a big purple dinosaur imitation in a floor-length gown. ``I love being a woman!'' Theron shouted, reflecting just about everyone's attitude in the estrogen-charged ballroom, where Women in Hollywood ruled, at least for one night.

THAT'S SO LARRY: After a hiatus of 1 1/2 years, HBO's hilarious hit series ``Curb Your Enthusiasm'' is back (at 10 tonight). So creator/star Larry David put on a suit and a smile to celebrate the season premiere with his cast and pals Wednesday on the Paramount lot.

``Larry finally let us throw a little party for him,'' said HBO's president of entertainment Carolyn Strauss after greeting guests Kevin Nealon, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen, Allison Janney, Richard Lewis, Leslie Ann Warren, Garry Marshall, Cheryl Hines, Mekhi Phifer and Jeff Garlin.

Given the party setting, it seemed appropriate for a reporter to quiz David about proper party etiquette. Would he like party guests to take their shoes off when entering his home? ``No, absolutely not,'' David replied, looking appalled at the notion. ``But a vigorous wipe. I like a vigorous wipe, I'm not going to lie to you.''

Instead of showing the first two episodes, David screened episodes one and three because, well, because three is really offensive. We don't want to give it away, but included is a nail from Christ's cross, a handyman named Jesus and a braless housekeeper.

What else happens this season? Director-executive producer Robert B. Weide leaked a scoop. ``OK, this is exclusive. This year, Larry says something that will upset a lot of people, and they will get really mad at him, and he'll try to clear it up but just get in deeper and deeper, and everything will snowball and then just blow up. It's a new tack we're taking this year.''

Garlin sums up the new season this way: ``Much darker and funnier.'' Nah, that's not possible.

LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS ...: When was the last time you saw a horse, a snake, dogs, cats, even a chipmunk on a Hollywood red carpet? That surreal scene happened at the Cabana Club, where In Touch magazine invited pets and their stars to a bark-filled benefit for animal rights.

MTV favorite Kerri Kasem rode in on her horse Playboy but left the beast outside, while Aussie TV personality Fiona Horne kept her boa safely draped over her shoulders, a different kind of fashion statement for sure. ``Spy Kids'' star Alexa Vega clutched her chipmunk close, protecting it from the big dogs (like rocker Pink's bulldog) that hungrily eyed the little rodent. Joe Mantegna and ``Crossing Jordan'' science geek Steve Valentine came sans pets, lending support to their buddy Christopher Ameruso, whose book of photos, ``Pets and Their Stars Unleashed,'' was a linchpin of the fundraiser. There was a silent auction, too, and cabanas filled with swag to tempt pets and owners alike, like ``Desperate Housewives'' star Andrea Bowen

``I have never seen so many celebrities and their pets in one place, giving such support to the cause of protecting animal rights,'' gushed Linda Blair, whose World Heart Foundation reaped the benefits of the night's profits. ``When you love animals, all you can do is stick up for them,'' Pink agreed - and clean up after them, too, at the only Hollywood party we've ever attended where a pooper-scooper was a key accessory.

CAPTION(S):

4 photos

Photo:

(1) THERON: Wild thing!

Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

MacLAINE: Ifs, ands ... and butts.

(2) VEGA: Nuts about her chipmunk cheeks.

(3) PINK: She's bull(dog)-ish for pets.

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

(4) DANSON, left, DAVID: Can't curb their enthusiasm.

Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images