THIS 'PHANTOM' NEEDS MORE PAIN WITH ITS FEVERED PITCH.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

FANS OF flower-arranging and candlelight will have a great time at the long-awaited film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical ``Phantom of the Opera.''

The stage show's many devotees undoubtedly will have mixed reactions to a movie, opening Wednesday, that fails to figure out how to make the show-stopping chandelier drop a 10th as breathtakingly on screen as it does in the theater.

And those of us who have always thought that Gaston Leroux's Grand Guignol source novel was better material for horror movies than nonsensical romantic plays will not have our minds changed one iota.

All that aside, I can't think of a better director for this overproduced hooey than Joel Schumacher. A master of shiny-surface excess himself (the Batman nipple suit, remember?), Schumacher is certainly in tune with Lloyd Webber's effectively unsubtle sensibilities. And he's come up with some very good ideas for transferring the show between mediums, along with all of the lousy ones that would be part and parcel of any such production.

But let's be nice first. Since there really isn't a lot of dancing to the piece, Schumacher relies rather shrewdly on a fluidly moving, gravity-unencumbered camera (``Gladiator's'' John Mathieson was the director of photography) to match the almost all-sung libretto with an elegant illusion of choreography. Along with production designer Anthony Pratt, Schumacher also takes advantage of film's more-vast visual possibilities to give us intricate glimpses into the backstage world of Paris' Opera Populaire, circa 1870, as well as the Gothic grotto home its resident Phantom has built for himself in the flooded catacombs deep beneath. The latter owes a lot, specifically and spiritually, to the dream cinema of that real-life French movie phantom, Jean Cocteau, but the borrowing is smart and gorgeously, moodily rendered.

And Schumacher didn't do too badly casting the movie's female leads. Metropolitan Opera-trained Emmy Rossum not only has a great voice, the teenager is at the perfect stage of dewey-eyed, slack-jawed pluck-me-ness to make chorus orphan-turned-rising star - and Phantom's obsession - Christine's incoherent loyalties acceptable.

In an expanded role as ballet mistress and Phantom enabler Madame Giry, Miranda Richardson brings some much-needed dramatic weight to the proceedings, though it's odd that she speaks with a French accent while all the other Gallic characters sound English. And Minnie Driver is a scream as the Italian diva Carlotta. The only cast member who doesn't do her own singing (though she does warble a new Lloyd Webber composition over the closing credits), Driver was reportedly told by Schumacher that ``nobody ever paid to see under the top,'' and she took it to heart. Alas, she's about the only cranked-to-11 element in the movie with an understanding that being so big is inherently ridiculous.

Which is, of course, the main problem overall. After a fairly atmospheric first half-hour, the Phantom goes too psycho, the orchestra gets too noisy, the emotions reach such a consistently high pitch that they stop making any emotional sense at all, and ``Phantom'' becomes all-crescendo for two relentless hours.

Oh, and the guys are kind of drips. Broadway actor Patrick Wilson, last spotted on screen indifferently losing ``The Alamo,'' boasts Fabio hair and some of the model's drab screen presence as the Phantom's handsome rival Raoul. As for Gerard Butler, he wears mask and cape well. But the Scotsman's voice wasn't very strong during ``Music of the Night's'' quieter verses. But when it came time to shout - which is pretty much all the Phantom does from that song's climax through the end of the movie - Butler can certainly make himself heard over the orchestra (no dainty feat in this movie, but it's the sound of exertion, not nuanced passion).

More crucially, however, there is no grandeur to his Phantom's tragic madness. That's not all Butler's fault. No one seems too scared of him, even after he's killed enough opera workers to logically force a shutdown of the operation. And for some reason, his facial disfigurement isn't consistent, as masks of varying sizes suffice to disguise it at different times. Plus, a little too much back story undermines our acceptance of certain actions we might otherwise attribute to supernatural abilities. But, at base, Butler just doesn't connect us to the Phantom's pain, however endlessly he whines about it.

Though admirably anti-MTV, Schumacher's film is often so baroque, it comes off like some joke.

And only Minnie Driver knew to laugh.

Bob Strauss, [phone]

bob.strauss(at)dailynews.com

ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER'S THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - Two and one half stars

(PG-13: violence, nudity)

Starring: Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum, Patrick Wilson, Miranda Richardson, Minnie Driver.

Director: Joel Schumacher.

Running time: 2 hr. 26 min.

Playing: Opens Wednesday in wide release.

In a nutshell: This loud and vulgar (as it should be) movie version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical will either sweep you off your feet or give you a headache. Whichever, Lon Chaney quite safely remains the champion screen Phantom.

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Scottish actor Gerard Butler stars in ``Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera.''