THIS `PIECE' SURE ISN'T A HAIR-RAISING EXPERIENCE.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

It's reached the point where these ``little people'' comedies from the British Isles can only be judged by the triviality of their organizing concept and whether or not they manage to squeeze five minutes worth of believable human behavior into the proceedings.

By those guidelines, ``An Everlasting Piece'' comes in a hair ahead of, say, ``Billy Elliot'' or ``Saving Grace.'' But that's not saying much; the world needs more of these exercises in gritty adorableness like Patrick Stewart needs a hole in his head.

OK, my apologies for the preceding cranium-based puns. But they're nothing compared to the dandruffy flurry of bad hair jokes that fall all over this movie. See, it's about two enterprising barbers, one Catholic and one Protestant, who join forces to corner the toupee market in sectarian strife-ridden Northern Ireland.

You heard right: This movie's message is, if we can't all be brothers under the skin, maybe the follically challenged among us can at least relate to each other under rugs.

What more do you need to know? Barry McEvoy, an Ulster emigrant who plays the Catholic, Colm, also wrote the script. It's based on the reminiscences of his father, who actually was a Belfast wig salesman. McEvoy got some of his actor friends to then stage readings of the, um, piece in New York pubs. Producers got interested, and somehow they got director Barry Levinson interested.

Although a Hollywood guy via Baltimore, the ``Rain Man''-maker, who shot this in Dublin and Belfast, has succeeded in making the film feel no less authentic than anything else that's tried to rework the ``Full Monty'' routine. Which is to say, the characters are pure blarney and the skies look depressingly gray. For his part, German composer Hans Zimmer delivers a surprisingly rich and lively Celtic music score.

Brian F. O'Byrne, a Tony Award nominee, plays the Protestant partner, George. Anna Friel is Colm's salty, resourceful girlfriend, Bronagh. The main crisis here - which means the somewhat murky ethical one that doesn't involve cussing out deadbeat customers, wrestling wigs from the jaws of determined dogs, confusing the Ulster pronunciation of ``hairpiece'' with ``herpes'' and, y'know, dodging car bombs - emerges when, to win some kind of sales competition, Colm considers a group sale to a cell of bald IRA terrorists.

The terrorists, frankly, are the best thing about the movie. Led by a fine British actor named Colum Convey, they have a certain, Keystone Koercers quality that's funny without undercutting their frightening formidability. They're actually better-designed, and more interesting, characters than our comb-and-scissor boys.

A film about these guys would have been, well, about something. But it probably would not have been any less insulting to those who've been personally affected by the province's terrible violence.

Nor, for that matter, the bald of any creed or allegiance.

``AN EVERLASTING PIECE''

(Rated R: language, nudity)

The stars: Barry McEvoy, Brian F. O'Byrne, Anna Friel.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Barry Levinson. Written by Barry McEvoy. Produced by Levinson, Mark Johnson, Louis DiGiaimo, Jerome O'Connor and Paula Weinstein. Released by DreamWorks Pictures.

Running time: One hour, 46 minutes.

Playing: Century 14, Century City.

Our rating: Two and one half stars