THIS 'KING' HAS SOME STING.Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic ONE OF THOSE PG-13 movies that's all wall-to-wall mayhem and taut, exposed flesh, ``The Scorpion King'' has clearly been designed to buttress the strengths of its star, wrestling sensation The Rock. At its best when its hero is running around fighting and at its worst when he attempts to speak, this prequel pre·quel n. A literary, dramatic, or cinematic work whose narrative takes place before that of a preexisting work or a sequel. [pre- + (se)quel.] to the recent spate of ``Mummy'' movies offers all the pleasures of a WWF See Windows Workflow Foundation. smackdown and about the same degree of intellectual stimulation (Vince McMahon has an executive producer credit). And with camel jokes, too. More a load of enjoyable, Conan-esque claptrap than the punishing, special-effects soul assaults the ``Mummy'' pictures represent, ``Scorpion King'' is long on swords and sand stuff and blessedly short on the sorcery business. It's got all the dimensionality of a poorly drawn comic book, but at least the action has a here-on-Earth feel to it that gives it more oomph than computers usually generate. Half the cast is made up of athletes of one stripe or another, and it's fun to see them do even the most outrageous stunts and fights with a high percentage of grace and palpable strength. Set in some 5,000-year-old Middle East that never existed, ``Scorpion'' tells an early-origin story of the character, though there's no information as to how he became the mad, immortal monster seen in ``The Mummy Returns.'' Mathayus (Rock) is an Akkadian assassin, hired with his two remaining brothers by remnants of rival desert tribes to assassinate the prescient sorcerer who makes the all-conquering megalomaniac meg·a·lo·ma·ni·a n. 1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence. 2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions. Memnon's (Steven Brand) red-turbaned armies unbeatable. But things, as they must, go awry, and soon Mathayus is the only Akkadian left. Plus, the sorcerer turns out to be a sorceress, Cassandra (television actress Kelly Hu), and the most luscious female of all in an apparently pre-fall Eden when every woman was a babe. Rather than kill her, then, Mathayus just runs off with Cassandra, which leads to both jealousy on Memnon's part and panic among his troops. Naturally, she grows to like the big, musclebound mus·cle·bound or mus·cle-bound adj. Having inelastic, overdeveloped muscles that function poorly together for concerted action. lug (1) (Linux Users Group) A formal or informal organization of Linux users who gather together virtually or in person to exchange information and resources. Some groups maintain mailing lists and send out newsletters for their members. . The future Arachnid Monarch also gathers the standard band of ragtag rag·tag adj. 1. Shaggy or unkempt; ragged. 2. Diverse and disorderly in appearance or composition: "They're a small ragtag army of racketeers, bandits, and murderers" supporters for the final assault on Memnon's palace in that fun city of 3,000 B.C. Gomorrah. These include an old but very ahead-of-his-time prescientist (Bernard Hill) who invents gunpowder, a contentious warlord (Michael Clarke Duncan) who comes around, a weaselly comic-relief sidekick (Grant Heslov) and a thieving-but-adorable street urchin (Tutu Sweeney). Director Chuck Russell (``The Mask'') stages the endless action adequately enough against backdrops of DeMillean oriental decadence, and occasionally rises above the workmanlike work·man·like adj. Befitting a skilled artisan or craftsperson; skillfully done. workmanlike Adjective skilfully done: a neat workmanlike job Adj. 1. approach to a level of truly gripping presentation. Such is the case with a spooky swordfight in the midst Adv. 1. in the midst - the middle or central part or point; "in the midst of the forest"; "could he walk out in the midst of his piece?" midmost of a blinding sandstorm sandstorm, strong dry wind blowing over the desert that raises and carries along clouds of sand or dust often so dense as to obscure the sun and reduce visibility almost to zero; also known as a duststorm. . As for the, um, actors, Hu wears makeup well and very little else even better. Dwayne Johnson - he's The Rock - has a nice sense of humor Noun 1. sense of humor - the trait of appreciating (and being able to express) the humorous; "she didn't appreciate my humor"; "you can't survive in the army without a sense of humor" sense of humour, humor, humour about himself, along with a face and form whose slablike planes make good surfaces for movie light and the hanging of distressed leather. He moves wonderfully and does the arched eyebrow thing that his fans love. Still, someone should have told him to keep his mouth shut. THE SCORPION KING - Two and one half stars (Rated PG-13: violence, language, sexual situations, children in jeopardy) Starring: The Rock, Kelly Hu, Michael Clarke Duncan, Steven Brand, Bernard Hill. Director: Chuck Russell. Running time: 1 hr. 28 min. Playing: Wide release. |
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