THEREFORE, CHOOSE LIFE: Widows, Planned Parenthood & September 11.

As "difficult as their situation may be, she and other widows said they felt blessed to have their babies, now more than ever," reports a New York Times story, "Waiting for Babies Who Will Never Know Their Fathers" (December 5). Surely, the pregnant wives of the men killed in the terrorist attacks of September 11 are among its most poignant victims. "People would look at me and burst into tears," says one young mother who has now delivered her baby.

Was the suffering of these bereaved young women ameliorated by the offer of free abortions by Planned Parenthood of New York City, good for the week of September 18-22? This jarring response can be described as offensive, but it sincerely expresses the conviction that the best way to deal with suffering is to eliminate sufferers. Crises, in this view, bring "tragic choices" that can require the ending of marginal lives. Will the more positive responses of so many young widows witness to more life-affirming options?

Yes, I think that the pro-life movement is going to be easier to explain to others after this recent carnage visited on the innocent. Cutting off so much potential life can be seen only as abhorrent. "So many thousands gone," as the old slave spiritual laments. I recently explored some of the effects of the catastrophe in a lecture to the New York chapter of Women Affirming Life (www.affirmlife.com). Women Affirming Life was formed in 1990, and like Feminists for Life (www.feminstsforlife.org) attracts educated and concerned women who embrace a pro-woman/pro-life perspective. The mission of these groups is to testify in word and compassionate deed to the value of life, and to the truth that death-making strategies toward the unborn and the vulnerable destroy human flourishing. These groups contest the argument put forth by second-wave feminists of the 1960s that abortion serves women's well-being.

As the country came to grips with the unfolding horror of the September 11 disaster, other pro-life values and principles were manifested. Who can ever forget the firemen and policemen rushing to the scene to rescue victims, despite the risk to their own lives? More than three hundred firefighters lost their lives. Many other valiant acts of altruism were performed. Two men carried a woman in a wheelchair down fifty floors, and another greathearted man refused to leave his handicapped friend who was confined to a wheelchair. A multitude of persons helped one another to safety. On the street, other relief was proffered, from cups of cold water to medical assistance. The great outpouring of aid from all over the city, country, and world has been extraordinary.

Acts of altruism reveal the positive potential of human nature. The moral obligation to rescue one's neighbor in distress is deeply felt. An unplanned, unexpected crisis can evoke life-risking moral responses. There is a recognition that individuals are morally obligated to help those in need, whether we have previously contracted to do so or not.

The duty to rescue and offer life-giving care to fellow members of the human family is the founding principle of the pro-life movement. The human species is social and can only function as an interdependent community. Since no one can survive alone, mutual aid and assistance are primary moral obligations that come with being human. We do not choose our parents, neighbors, or fellow inhabitants of earth's ecosystem, but we have moral obligations to them all, proportionate to our resources and abilities.

For an unborn life, aid and rescue can only be performed by the pregnant woman. She alone has the nurturing maternal power to save this new life. She has a moral responsibility to her unborn offspring by virtue of her capacity and her familial relationship.

And how strong family bonds turn out to be! The disaster helped prove the pro-life contention that nothing is more vital and basic to human beings than loving and being loved by one's kith and kin. Those who were about to die used their cell phones to contact their families to speak words of love and encouragement. The ubiquity of cell phones made this the first disaster in history that the words of doomed victims could be heard directly. The messages received were heartbreaking.

More tears well up as we read the obituaries of those who perished. Every day since the disaster, the New York Times has run brief vignettes of the people whose lives were so cruelly taken. The hidden goodness of so many ordinary men and women comes to light. How many dedicated family men are described who loved their wives and children. This has been an event where males as providers, rescuers, and friends have demonstrated valor.

Life is with people, and what have been called the "together goods" are primary. These goods can only be experienced through mutual giving, receiving, and sharing with others. When you choose life, you choose the bonds of face-to-face encounters with others. Here is where joy can be found, not with autonomous individuals bent on control and other isolated satisfactions. Ironically, while suffering is beyond our control, so is the coming of joy. Love and joy give us hope in the midst of suffering. Pregnancy and laboring in childbirth in the creation of new life show us that travail is not the final word. Love is stronger than death.