THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL KISSING THE CUP, ENGLISH STYLE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

It was much more than just idle curiosity that lured comedian Eric Idle in among the other shoulder-to-shoulder English football fanatics at the Fox and Hounds pub in Studio City on Saturday morning.

Much of it had to do with idol worshiping.

Two of England's most cherished sporting relics, the Football Association Cup and the Premier League Trophy, sat almost in obscurity on a table off the entrance door, flanked by tough-looking security guards, while a sixth-round game of the FA Cup between Arsenal and Chelsea was being played out on the television screens.

But once the match ended in a 2-2 tie, a line began forming in the back of the pub, leading out to a patio where the trophies were moved. Those who paid $20 and waited as long as was necessary were allowed to not just pose with the prized pieces of sterling silver, but actually pick 'em up and paste their lips on 'em as a photographer snapped away.

Idle, the former ``Monty Python'' trooper, sat through the game, then went home and dragged his 12-year-old daughter, Lily, back to the tented room to get their snapshot taken with the hardware.

``Seems like we're always in quest of the Holy Grail,'' Idle said, a reference sure to please Python die-hards.

To a real soccer fan searching for the meaning of life, this was the place to be.

``It's boyhood-dream stuff,'' said a wide-eyed Steven Cohen, as responsible as anyone for bringing the trophies to American soil for their first visit together. ``When it arrived at the Fairmont Miramar Hotel (in Santa Monica) the first night, I took it out and I almost collapsed.''

Cohen, who with Nick Gerber hosts the ``World Soccer Weekly'' three-hour radio show Monday nights on The Ticket 1540-AM and runs a soccer-info Internet site (www.worldsoccerweekly.com), helped arrange and sponsor the week-long tour of the two trophies, currently in Arsenal's possession, through Southern California.

Before the trophies head back tonight on a British Airways flight, they'll make one more appearance this afternoon at the Ross Snyder Recreation Center in South Central Los Angeles, where a new soccer field is being dedicated for inner-city kids.

In terms of historic or social relevance, there really isn't anything in American sports that measures up to England's FA Cup, given to the winner of the nationwide kickball tournament each year since 1871.

The Stanley Cup - considered far more a Canadian treasure than one that belongs in the States - has been around since 1892, given to the NHL champions every year since 1926. It's insured for $75,000.

Both the Lombardi Trophy, given to the NFL champions, and Major League Baseball's Commissioner's Trophy have been around only since 1967. The Larry O'Brien Trophy, which the Lakers have hoisted the past three years, isn't even 40 years old yet. The three of them combined are valued at less than $50,000.

Maybe in this part of town, the FA Cup and Premiership Trophy could only be compared to winning an Oscar and an Emmy.

``And the chances of me getting any of them are pretty slim, thank you,'' said Idle, joined by expatriate celebrities such as actor John Hannah (``Four Weddings and a Funeral'') and former Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones in the Fox and Hounds gathering that featured plenty of Guinness and Carlsberg consumption among the Brit jargon thrown up toward the TV screens.

Idle, who had his picture taken with the FA Cup as a boy in 1953, brought along another photo of him clowning with the trophy at the home of Tottenham Hotspur's Gary Lineker in 1991 after Lineker's team won it. Idle said he may watch up to five football games a week on his home dish or at the local pub, where the game ``seems more important that religion.''

Asked if he had a favorite team, he replied: ``I support all of England. If you tax yourself to support just one group of 11 men in shorts, it's like falling in love with a hooker. Eventually, you'll get scorned.''

Bob McNab, a member of the 1971 Arsenal team that won both trophies when it was far more rare, understands the significance of the hardware's visit won't completely capture this nation's interest.

``Although the Brits who live around here know, a lot of people here don't understand the fanaticism,'' said McNab, who lives with his wife semiretired in Brentwood and came down to watch. ``But even I can't believe some are paying $20 just for a picture. That's something.''

Something maybe none of us on this side of the pond will ever understand.

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Photo:

From left, Shaun Treanor of Northridge and Gary Griffiths of Santa Clarita pose with the Premier League Trophy and FA Cup, respectively, at the Fox and Hounds Pub in Studio City.

David Sprague/Staff Photographer