THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL.

Hey, Dad, I'm watching the Angels game, and Lawrence Phillips is in the lineup. Look!

That's Tony Phillips. It's a big difference, my boy. Uh, sorta.

Dad, I thought the Angels suspended Tony Phillips.

They did.

So then, what happened? Did someone else in baseball let him play again?

That's what happened.

Like, who, the commissioner?

There is no commissioner.

(Long pause).

Dad, didn't Tony Phillips get arrested for drugs?

Yes, he did. And formally charged.

Why didn't he just say no?

He did, when the Angels tried to send him to drug counseling.

Dad, is he going to jail?

Probably not.

(Longer pause).

Dad, why do the Angels have to let him play? Can't they just leave him on the bench?

They're in a pennant race. They need him.

Dad, why are the fans booing Tony Phillips now?

He's up to bat.

Now why are they cheering for him?

He just got a hit.

(Deafening pause).

Dad, can we turn off this game and play Nintendo baseball? I'll be the Angels. And I'm not letting Tony Phillips play.

Hey, it's your team . . .

Meanwhile, in the real world that exists outside the Ana-heimlick maneuvering Angels . . .

With L.A. City Councilman Mike Hernandez taking a powder, it seems the biggest roadblock to building a football stadium in the soon-to-be Murdoch's Latrine has been effectively bulldozed. Nice work by the Fox folks on that one. . . .

And another conspiracy theory for Mel Gibson to sniff out: John Fox made the fall lineup for USC at quarterback. Rick Fox is who the Lakers covet most on the free-agent market and may sign soon. The acid test will be if Fred Claire pulls some waiver deal with the Yankees and brings second baseman Andy Fox to the Dodgers - and then issues him No. 11. . . .

Heard the one about how the Dodgers' Chan Ho Park will make about $2.7 million more than his $270,000 baseball salary just for pitching computers and shoes and Gatorade in his homeland, South Korea? When Park signed a deal with Sambo computers this week for $895,000, it broke the previous record for a South Korean endorsement. Meg Ryan was once paid $500,000 to promote a shampoo called Sexy Mild. Maybe Park can get into the shampoo game next. He can call his Sometimes Wild. . . .

It doesn't take a divorce lawyer to figure out why USC basketball coach Henry Bibby wouldn't confirm news that his new contract with the school was signed three months ago, complete with a nice pay raise. You don't think Bibby is trying to hide the new dollar amount from his estranged wife, Virginia, who lives in Phoenix with the youngest of the three Bibby children and where she can keep tabs on UofA games featuring their son, Mike? . . .

Then there's the eldest Bibby son, Hank Jr., who attends USC. But that's only because his biological dad can exercise the family discount. Don't expect to ever see the two of them sharing nachos at the USC Commons. . . .

Ashton White, the 12-year-old son of former USC football star Charles White who played in Saturday's Little League World Series title game, isn't the only Trojans legacy that John Robinson would love to see someday on his team. Anthony Munoz has a son living with him in Ohio that Trojans people say is nearly as big as his old man - if that's possible - but he isn't even a senior in high school yet. USC and Ohio State are the early favorites. . . .

One reason why Robinson isn't so jolly about opening his football practices to the public is because of information about his team that's been getting on the Internet. When Robinson held the first practice of the season, which was basically having freshmen run the 40-yard dash, within hours everyone's time had been posted on-line. USC's practices were closed, starting Saturday. . . .

If the National Recruiting Advisor magazine (not available in stores, only to real college recruiters) lists Notre Dame's Justin Fargas the top high school running back prospect in the country, throw all those other rags written by star-struck sportswriters right in the circular file. . . .

Any kid who's been named to an All-City or All-Southern Section team over the last 50 years has the late great Buddy Dyer to thank.

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PHOTO See you in September: Dodgers executive vice president Fred Claire promised Eddie Murray that if he'd accept a few weeks in Triple-A Albuquerque he'd get a call-up to the big club for the final month. The sooner the better for the 41-year-old Murray, who just can't look sharp in a Dukes uniform (note the taped-up earflap on the helmet). Maybe it affected his debut. In his first game Saturday, he went 0 for 3 with three strikeouts.

Associated Press