THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

An empty bracket is a terrible thing to waste.

Throw a dart, flip a coin, call your plumber, use a Ouija board, consult a loan shark, pray, or copy down verbatim what Rick Majerus says on TV, even if he quits in the middle of the Albuquerque bracket because it's too stressful. Just fill out an NCAA Tournament sheet when it's passed around the office today and turn it in before Thursday morning.

Any doofus can do it. Fact is, with a little common sense and a lot of luck, you've got as good as chance of looking smart as the blowhard who'll insist that Coach K is the Almighty himself and Duke goes all the way without a scratch.

Among the systems we've tried in the past - fewest syllables, color combinations, most psychotic coach, best senior point guard play - hunches in bunches always seem to pay off in the end.

As long as you know the three guarantees of the tournament - 1) no top seed has lost a first-round game, 2) no Final Four has been filled with four top-seeds, and 3) no school from Montana ever, ever has a chance - try this combination for size:

--First round: Illinois flogs Fairleigh-Dickinson, Texas nixes Nevada, Alabama whips Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Boston College punches out Penn, LSU undermines UAB, Arizona upends Utah State, St. Mary's subdues Southern Illinois, and Oklahoma State smacks SE Louisiana.

Washington mashes Montana, Pitt pacifies Pacific, Georgia Tech gorges on George Washington, Louisville louses it up for Louisiana-Lafayette, Texas Tech sees its way past UCLA, Gonzaga outwits Winthrop, Creighton weasels past West Virginia, and Wake Forest shatters Chattanooga.

North Carolina puts the onus on Oakland (Mich)., Minnesota lays into Iowa State, Villanova nukes New Mexico, Florida opens it up on Ohio, Wisconsin whisks past Northern Iowa, Kansas bucks Bucknell, North Carolina State charms Charlotte, and UConn crushes Central Florida.

Duke dumps Delaware State, Mississippi State stuns Stanford, Old Dominion shows its magic against Michigan State, Syracuse vetoes Vermont, Utah sidesteps UTEP, Oklahoma barrels over Niagara, Iowa cruises past Cincinnati, and Kentucky ekes it out over Eastern Kentucky.

--Second round: Illinois tames Texas, Alabama bounces Boston College, Arizona limps past LSU and Oklahoma State rings St. Mary's bell.

Washington puts Pitt in its place, Louisville leaves Georgia Tech gasping, Gonzaga turns it on against Texas Tech, and Wake Forest crushes Creighton.

North Carolina mauls Minnesota, Florida vanquishes Villanova, Kansas walks by Wisconsin, and UConn connects against North Carolina State.

Duke masters Mississippi State, Syracuse establishes dominion over ODU, Utah KOs Oklahoma, and Iowa kicks Kentucky to the curb.

--The Sweet 16: Illinois bashes Alabama, Arizona answers the call against Oklahoma State, Washington's wonderful trip continues over Louisville, and Wake Forest grinds one out against Gonzaga (to Washington's relief about a possible rematch).

North Carolina finally figures out Florida, UConn keeps its composure against Kansas, Syracuse is dialed in against Duke and Iowa undercuts Utah.

--The Elite Eight: Illinois sails past Salim Stoudamire and Arizona, Wake Forest wills its way over Washington (who gets much farther as a top seed than the experts expect) in a wacky finish, North Carolina eliminates defending national champion UConn convincingly (and Roy Williams is relieved he doesn't have to show his face against Kansas and another set of questions from Bonnie Bernstein), and Syracuse, jealous that it couldn't come out of the Syracuse Regional, signals the end for Steve Alford and Iowa.

--The Final Four: Illinois turns it up another notch and has the wake-up call for Chris Paul and Wake Forest, and North Carolina has no excuses for handling Syracuse in one of the most lopsided romps this deep into the dance.

--The championship: Illinois is a great story to this point, with coach Bruce Weber riding the emotions surrounding his mother's death. The Illini have to win. But North Carolina, with Rashad McCants coming back and Sean May a force inside, pulls it off in St. Louis.

Then again, we could be wrong.

By the way, Majerus has Illinois, Wake Forest, North Carolina and Kentucky in his Final Four, with Illinois surviving in a half-court game against North Carolina for the title.

As always in Majerus' case, it's just food for thought.