THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL SPEND WISELY OR PAY DEARLY.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Whether it's cash, credit or cost-cutting common cents, we deal daily with the commerce of sports. The decisions are things such as:

--What to buy: A Freeway Series item you won't find at the Dodger Stadium gift shop, entrepreneur Howard Cole has designed a T-shirt with the universal red-circle-and-diagonal-slash across the Angels' traditional ``A'' with the halo cap logo. Asking price: $18.99, with $5 shipping, available on his website, www.baseballsavvy.com.

Cole says that if enough of his ``No Angels, No Where'' fashion statements are purchased, he may consider contributing to the city of Anaheim's legal fund.

``Even as an April Fool's joke, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim idea is incredibly lame,'' Cole says. ``I thought Dodger fans would want to stand up and poke a little fun at Mr. Moreno's expense. He's a man, he can take it.''

Cole's next marketing project: Dodgers food cake.

--What to sell: The idea that a hot dog at a ballpark is just another ballpark hot dog.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have bestowed top honors upon SBC Park, home of the San Francisco Giants, and McAfee Coliseum, home of the Oakland Athletics, for their vegetarian-friendly concession stands.

Veggie dogs and burgers are just two of the PETA-friendly things Giants fans can dine on at the park, along with fruit platters, endame and Portabella mushroom sandwiches. A's fans have some of that, plus savory bean pies, tofu burgers and baked potatoes.

Surprisingly, PETA allows the use of the word ``dog'' on any menu item, and hasn't screeched about the ``cat'' in catsup.

Our only concern is trying to wash all that wheat paste down with a cholesterol-free BALCO Big Gulp.

--What to buy: Beer, for your own private viewing of the NCAA Tournament final on Monday night. If only to undermine the efforts of a nonprofit group supposedly representing you called the Center for Science in the Public Interest.

These folk have pointedly accused the NCAA of being too cozy with Anheuser-Busch, which dumps in a good chunk of advertising dollars into the organization, thus sending a mixed message as colleges look to squash under-aged and binge drinking on campuses.

Here's the deal: They already don't sell beer at the arena during Final Four weekend in St. Louis, which is also home to said beer company. And TV restrictions in place limit the number of alcohol ads to 60 seconds every hour of broadcast. What more do they want?

A complete ban of TV beer spots, which would help ``break the tie in young people's minds that sports and drinking go together and are inseparable,'' Jay Hedlund, director of the center's project Campaign for Alcohol-Free Sports TV, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Hedlund and the NCAA pooh-bahs can discuss this further over a room- temperature O'Doul's.

--What to sell: Your interest in the kayak business around SBC Park.

Ted Choi invested $25,000 this past offseason to expand his fleet to about 70 kayaks so fans who wanted to get into McCovey Cove and scoop up a Barry Bonds' home-run ball would have a better shot. With Bonds injured and possibly out this season, guess who loses most?

``Dang, I'm going to take the biggest hit,'' Choi told the San Jose Mercury News. Choi estimated that Bonds balls accounted for about 25 percent of his profits a year ago.

--What to buy: Stock in Jackie Robinson.

Film director Spike Lee has talked for years about doing the right project on the former Dodgers star's life. But Howard Baldwin, the former Pittsburgh Penguins and Hartford Whalers owner, may finally hustle past him for it.

Baldwin has announced an alliance with Robert Redford to do a movie based on the story of Robinson and Branch Rickey, the Dodgers president who signed him. Redford, as co-producer, would also play the role of Rickey. According to the Sports Business Daily, the film has the OK of Robinson's family, Rickey's son and MLB.

This comes as two new books about Robinson's life have been released, one by Orlando Magic senior vice president Pat Williams, called ``How To Be Like Jackie Robinson: Life Lessons From Baseball's Greatest Hero'' (HCI, $14.95) and another by former Brooklyn Dodgers teammate and pitcher Carl Erskine called ``What I Learned from Jackie Robinson'' (McGraw-Hill, $19.95).

There's also a play that recently opened at the Fremont Center Theater in South Pasadena called ``National Pastime,'' with 25-year-old Jed Reynolds starring as Robinson. It runs through May 1.

``What really moved me was discovering what Jackie Robinson did after he broke the color line in baseball,'' Reynolds says in the current issue of L.A. Stage magazine. ``He was so proactive in the civil rights movement, going into Birmingham (Ala.) and other Southern cities to promote integration. He was a real humanitarian and a significant social progressivist. You don't see that occurring much with today's athletes.''

Obviously. Who'd buy that?

CAPTION(S):

6 photos, box

Photo:

(1) no caption (Joel Heitkamp)

(2) RICK PITINO

(3) MIKE KRZYEWSKI

(4) TODD SAUERBRUN

(5) no caption (book: ``Last Shot: A Final Four Mystery'')

(6) -- New York Mets first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz, on adjusting to the slow pace that new teammate and former Dodger Kaz Ishii (pictured) uses during games.

Box:

Sunday PUNCH

- Tom Hoffarth