THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL SOME HAUNTING TALES WITH STRANGE TWISTS.Byline: TOM HOFFARTH Dennis Rodman, who by all accounts is still among the living, will be signing copies of his new (and third) autobiography, ``I Should Be Dead By Now,'' at Borders in Thousand Oaks on the day after Halloween. You've been warned. As creepy as this latest self-hurt book by the NBA's former misfit mis·fit n. 1. Something of the wrong size or shape for its purpose. 2. One who is unable to adjust to one's environment or circumstances or is considered to be disturbingly different from others. may be, you're apt to find some sports-related prose even more scary on the book shelves these days. Try these bizarre tales for some unexpected treats: The book: ``Better to Reign in Hell: Inside the Raiders Fan Empire,'' by husband-and-wife team of Jim Miller and Kelly Mayhew (The New Press, 336 pages, $26.95). The background: The lifelong Raiders fans are obsessed ob·sess v. ob·sessed, ob·sess·ing, ob·sess·es v.tr. To preoccupy the mind of excessively. v.intr. with finding out why this very culturally diverse group seems to bond over a belief in anarchy. Raider Nation, they conclude, is about ``an embattled desire for some kind of community in an age when community is in decline.'' We'll take their word for it. An excerpt: Page 111: Our trip into the heart of Raider Nation started strangely at the Universal City Walk (at the Raider Image store) ... I noticed that Kelly and I were the only Anglo shoppers in the store ... In the city of angels, the Raiders clearly were still the Chicano team of choice. More reading: ``Football's Blackest Hole: A Fan's Perspective,'' by Craig Parker (North Atlantic Books) written in 2003. The book: ``Wrecking Crew: The Really Bad News Griffith Park Pirates,'' by John Albert (Scribner, 279 pages, $23). The background: Albert, a drummer from Christian Death and Bad Religion, was more into skateboarder Tony Alva than Steve Garvey while growing up in Southern California. But as he hit a weird turn in his drug-ravaged, post-fame existence, Albert felt he had nothing to lose by joining a group of cross-dressing musicians, struggling screenwriters and wannabe actors in an amateur hardball team. Turns out, it saved all of their dysfunctional souls. An excerpt: Page 91: Driving through the grassy fields of Griffith Park toward our first practice ... I was actually thinking that the whole thing seems like some big mistake. In the list of things that I could imagine bringing me pleasure - a fine meal, weird sex, easy money or, in years past, strong narcotics narcotics n. 1) techinically, drugs which dull the senses. 2) a popular generic term for drugs which cannot be legally possessed, sold, or transported except for medicinal uses for which a physician or dentist's prescription is required. - this really didn't rank. ... For someone like me, an antisocial antisocial /an·ti·so·cial/ (-so´sh'l) 1. denoting behavior that violates the rights of others, societal mores, or the law. 2. denoting the specific personality traits seen in antisocial personality disorder. intellectual who had spent his life sneering at any kid of middle-class normalcy nor·mal·cy n. Normality. Noun 1. normalcy - being within certain limits that define the range of normal functioning normality , joining a baseball team felt oddly subversive. Postscript: The book, expanded from a piece Albert did for LA Weekly back in 2000, has already inspired a script bought by Paramount Pictures. The book: ``The Underdog: How I Survived The World's Most Outlandish Competitions,'' by Joshua Davis (Villard, 198 pages, $21.95). The background: When he was a 5-year-old living in L.A., Davis snuck snuck v. Usage Problem A past tense and a past participle of sneak. See Usage Note at sneak. out on his babysitter babysitter A person, often an intelligent family member, who stays by the bedside of a Pt requiring mechanical ventilation, and guards for equipment malfunctions or other problems one night in his Superman pajamas pajamas Noun, pl US pyjamas pajamas npl (US) → pijama msg; piyama msg (LAM with the crinkly feet, walked down Santa Monica Boulevard and decided he was going to climb the hill up toward the Hollywood sign. That was just the start of his adventure-seeker existence. Trying to impress his wife Tara and avoid a job as a data entry clerk A data entry clerk is a member of staff who reads hand-written or printed records and types them into a computer. They are sometimes employed on a temporary basis, but most large companies which have large amounts of data will hire on a near-permanent basis. , the very dweeby Davis ends up in the U.S. National Arm Wrestling Championships, trains to be a bullfighter in Spain, goes sumo wrestling against 500-pounders, tries backward running in India and competes in the Sauna World Championships. Does he win anything? Does it really matter? The excerpt: From the introduction: The world has run out of challenges, so we've had to invent new ones. We've come up with competitive cup stacking, turned poker into a televised event and set new records in pumpkin hurling. I don't think it's a coincidence that the present explosion of nontraditional sports coincides with our emergence as the world's only superpower. ... It's absurd, but it fulfills a deeply American need to accomplish what hasn't already been done. Bonus feature: At the author's Web site (joshuadavis.net) and at underdognation.com, anyone who buys this book can get a free DVD DVD: see digital versatile disc. DVD in full digital video disc or digital versatile disc Type of optical disc. The DVD represents the second generation of compact-disc (CD) technology. documentary called ``The Beast Within'' that chronicles his arm wrestling exploits. CAPTION(S): 7 photos, box Photo: (1) no caption (book: ``Better to Reign in Hell: Inside the Raiders Fan Empire,'') (2) no caption (book: ``Wrecking Crew: The Really Bad News Griffith Park Pirates,'') (3) no caption (book: ``The Underdog: How I Survived The World's Most Outlandish Competitions,'' (4) PAUL KONERKO (5) JEAN VAN DE VELDE Jean Van de Velde (born 29 May 1966 in Mont-de-Marsan, Landes) is a French golfer who is known mainly for his loss at The Open Championship in 1999. Van de Velde turned professional in 1987 and his rookie season on the European Tour was 1989. (6) MIKE MARTZ (7) - Indian Pacers guard Ron Artest, returning to the NBA NBA abbr. 1. National Basketball Association 2. National Boxing Association NBA (US) n abbr (= National Basketball Association) → Basketball-Dachverband (= after a 73-game suspension for his involvement in a brawl at Detroit last season. Box: SUNDAY PUNCH - Matthew Kredell |
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