THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL KOBE LACKS MAGIC TOUCH.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Not that we're rumor mongers or anything, but did ya hear the one about David Copperfield trying to make Kobe Bryant disappear?

The Lakers' star showed up at the World Music Awards show earlier this month in Las Vegas and was ``being super-friendly and sort of flirty with the young women in those slinky outfits who carry around the awards,'' a source told the gossip columnist for MSNBC.com last week.

But after Bryant was booed off the stage, he came back in a foul mood, they say. Then Usher started performing, but Bryant reportedly couldn't get a good view because Copperfield, the creepy world famous magician, and some of his friends were blocking his way.

That's when Kobe ``rudely pushed'' Copperfield aside, the column said.

Copperfield later was quoted: ``(Kobe) didn't push me. I pushed him, and I have the DNA to prove it.''

Kazaam. ...

--A recent survey conducted by the Orange County Business Council and the Cal State Fullerton Center for Public Policy reached the unthinkable conclusion that Orange County fans prefer the Angels over the Dodgers by a 5-to-1 ratio.

Read that over again if that ratio is just too difficult to comprehend.

Yes, of the 579 respondents, 64 percent sided with the Angels, while 11 percent admitted to being Dodger supporters.

``Even with the Dodgers in first place and the Angels scrapping to make the playoffs, Orange County is clearly Angels Country,'' said Stan Oftelie, president and CEO of the OCBC, in a press release.

By the way, 16 percent of the people in the same survey said ``neither.'' ...

--As much as ESPN likes to protect its artistic license in the way it has presented the sordid Pete Rose story in its rendition of ``Hustle,'' the suits in Bristol, Conn., can't be pleased with the movie ``Mr. 3,000'' even though ESPN promoted it heavily.

The film includes Angela Bassett in the role of an ESPN reporter who not only has slept with a star athlete (Bernie Mac) she's covering, but then becomes so frustrated with him after an interview that it affects her work.

There's also a scene where Bassett's character walks into a bar to see Stan Ross (Mac's character) and his Milwaukee Brewer teammates do a ``da- da-da, da-da-da'' chant, as a way to chide him.

Remember, this is a production of Touchstone Pictures, which is owned by Disney, which also owns ESPN. ...

-- In case you were wondering, John Sciarra Jr. hasn't gone into the Quarterback Witness Protection Program. Close, though.

The former UCLA backup QB out of St. Francis High of La Canada and son of the former Bruins All-American has thrown for eight touchdowns and 811 yards in four games for Division I-AA Wagner College of Staten Island, N.Y.

After an OT loss to Central Connecticut on Saturday, Sciarra's Seahawks are 1-1 in the Northeast Conference, 3-1 overall. ...

--Anthony Munoz, the former USC All-American offensive lineman and Pro Football Hall of Famer, has been leading the rush for George Bush's presidential re-election campaign in southwest Ohio. He oversees the day-to-day operations in eight counties for that battleground state.

This, after another Hall of Famer, John Elway (Granada Hills High), joined Bush at a rally in Colorado last week, proclaiming: ``This man knows how to make the right calls when the pressure is on.'' ...

--Best sign at a ballpark this weekend was at Fenway: ``Curse Killing with Curt Schilling.''

Not that it matters in Boston, but the Chicago White Sox (87 years) have gone longer without a World Series championship than the Red Sox (86 years). ...

--Think of all the potted plants Ricky Williams coulda bought with $8.6 mil if the Dolphins weren't so nutty about getting their refund. ...

--And Vijay Singh doesn't have his own video game? ...