THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL EX-COWBOY RIDES ON A SOBER SADDLE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Hollywood is all about its bright lights and glamour, the stuff everyone sees on TV and movie screens. But then, as any tourist could tell you, it has a darker, seedy side, where the disillusioned homeless, drug addicts and other lost souls wander these so-called street of dreams just trying to survive.

It is with some irony, but not at all surprising, that Thomas Henderson once embraced the nickname ``Hollywood.''

One of the glamour boys of the Dallas Cowboys in the 1970s, considered to be one of the NFL's best linebackers on ``America's Team,'' so brash and bombastic that he landed on the cover of Newsweek magazine.

And then, darkness. So stoned and drunk during his playing days, yet still feeling bulletproof. Having to give a dealer a $4,000 full-length beaver coat just to get a few grams of cocaine, auctioning off a Super Bowl ring to appease the IRS, tossed into jail for sexual misconduct and battery charges.

``Hollywood and Vine have a lot in common with me,'' Henderson was saying the other day from a West L.A. hotel room, hours before he would speak at a Cocaine Anonymous meeting. ``I'm absolutely familiar with it - rags to riches, and then riches to rags.''

For those who haven't heard, the 51-year-old recovering addict is rich again. Not just monetarily - he won a $28 million Texas lottery four years ago, for which, after payout penalties and taxes, meant he suddenly had $9 million in the bank. But personally, going on 21 years of sobriety, enriching others lives like he never thought was possible.

Seventeen years after his best-selling book, ``Out of Control: Confessions of an NFL Casualty,'' which became the NFL's version of ``Ball Four'' for documenting behind-the-scenes drug and sex binges and the inherent racism in the sport, Henderson is quietly, but proudly, in control.

In fact, that's the title of the new book because ``In Control: The Rebirth of an NFL Legend'' ($24.95, Sports Publishing, available on amazon.com) is a whole other story.

``I had to write this for alcoholics and addicts, and for the families who love and endure them,'' Henderson said. ``It's not so much about me as it is about us, the secret society, successfully struggling in the same cause. It's like a bad marriage or relationship that quit working. Some got over it and some still struggle with it every minute of their lives.''

When he did ``Out of Control,'' Henderson admits he lashed out at former coaches (Tom Landry) and players (Randy White), took liberties with their stories, making all that ``dysfunctional stuff'' seem fun and exciting. He had been clean four years then and knows many were just waiting for him to relapse.

Then he started helping in his own community, by lecturing and making educational films for the California prison system. He built a stadium, and later a track, for the kids of East Austin, Texas. Then, by some divine act he can't explain, he won the lottery.

``That was my second 15 minutes of fame,'' he said with a laugh. ``But if I'd had won that money 20 years ago, I wouldn't be here today.''

After laying low and admitting to his real addiction - golf - it dawned on Henderson a few years that if ``Out of Control'' was going to be the biography people would remember him for, it really wasn't complete.

``I needed to tell everyone about the good, bad and ugly, even if none of the New York publishing houses thought stories about recovery were not hot sellers,'' said Henderson, who has also started a Web site (www.hollywoodhenderson.com) and gives out his phone number and e-mail address for those who want to find him.

``I wanted to give others permission to process their grief, shame, disappointment and failures when they were in these abusive relationships with alcohol and drugs. And most of the people who buy the book aren't doing it for themselves, but for someone they know. They have tears in their eyes, saying, 'This is for my son.' And I cry tears of joy for those who recover. I love the fact I may have nudged them in that direction.

``I'm getting strangers come up to me and wanting a hug, my business card, to thank me for helping. It's that kind of adulation I get now that I know is real, from someone's soul. It's not like those who used to pat me on the back and say, 'You played great Sunday, I'm one of your biggest fans.' This is life-changing stuff.

``I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist or a psychoanalyst, but I'm a living embodiment of change.''

And still a wealth of quotable material.

As for that ``Hollywood'' persona, Henderson admits the ``character'' he once created to get media attention is only used now to help make a connection with those who remember him as an All-Pro player who didn't last long enough to earn Hall of Fame credentials.

``I have to say that in the realm of the work I do now, when a prison inmate or a patient at a drug rehab center recognizes me as 'Hollywood,' that gives me more credibility with them than if I was just Tom Henderson,'' he said. ``My friends, family and recovering buddies call me Thomas.''

And, like us, they're hoping for the great Hollywood ending where Henderson lives happily ever after.

CAPTION(S):

6 photos, box

Photo:

(1) Thomas Henderson says that his new book is ``not so much about me as it is about us, the secret society'' of drug addicts and alcoholics.

Associated Press file

(2) JOHN WOODEN

(3) JOHN KERRY

(4) PHIL JACKSON

(5) no caption (Ken Caminiti)

(6) -- National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, talking about her favorite team, the Cleveland Browns, and quarterback Jeff Garcia. Rice paid a visit to the Browns' practice Thursday before giving a speech in Cleveland on the war on terrorism.

Box:

Sunday PUNCH

- Drew Sharp, Detroit Free Press