THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL: NCAA'S MISGUIDED HUNCH BET.

Byline: Tom Hoffarth

There's a letter of support with the signatures of Mike Krzyzewski, Bob Knight, Roy Williams, Bill Guthridge and Nolan Richardson attached to an NCAA-backed piece of legislation that's making its way through Capitol Hill this week. The bill is trying to make it illegal to bet on college games as well as all other amateur sporting events.

The $80 million in wagers placed legally on just the NCAA men's basketball tournament this week - added to $1 billion changing hands in Las Vegas on all college sports each year - isn't anything to pooh-pooh.

But what have the rent-a-cops at the NCAA offices done on their own about this issue? Once, they told newspapers to stop running odds on games. That was pretty impactful.

This past season, their enforcement of archaic rules resulted in the suspension of several top athletes at some high-profile universities. That's only added intrigue to this year's tournament, which could actually heighten interest of those participating in the office pools.

No one wants adults messing with kids' games, but the NCAA can't hide behind this premise when pushing through this kind of publicity-seeking bill. Senate hearings will likely take place in the next few weeks, right at the peak of tournament interest. That's not by accident.

So will the Feds start busting up the two-bucks-a-pop operations at the corporate offices like Pizza Hut - an official tournament sponsor - that threaten to rip apart the fabric of the sport if this bill passes? 'Course not. But lock the doors and bar the windows, just in case.

There's enough sewage for the NCAA to wade through these days. The sooner they figure out that they can never level the playing field, the better.

--Booker T. Turner's resignation after 10 years as head of the Pacific-10 officials was probably easier for him than hiring three dozen new qualified referees. . . .

--Research by Forbes magazine indicates that the Magic Johnson Foundation spent $715,000 last year, but with a 72 percent overhead, only $200,000 went to charity. . . .

--New Tigers pitcher Hideo Nomo decided to pick No. 23 because Kirk Gibson once wore it. Asked what he knew of Gibson, Nomo said: ``I know he played well for the Dodgers and the Tigers.'' . . .

--Brokers who have magic tickets to the Giants' Pac Bell Park regular- season opener against the Dodgers on April 11 are fetching upwards of $2,700 from the Silicon Valley sycophants. . . .

--For what it's worth, the Dodgers' 1-11 exhibition start compares unfavorably to the Lakers' 2-5 preseason. . . .

--Frankie Muniz, the kid who stars in Fox's new sit-com ``Malcolm in the Middle,'' told Bryant Gumbel on CBS' ``The Early Show'' last week that someday he'd like to own the Clippers because they ``rule . . . I love 'em.''

Frankie's in a fog . . .

--Tiger Woods' net worth is more than $150 million, his pop told Golfweek magazine. . . .

--From one of America's biggest soccer stars, Alexi Lalas gives Gear magazine this assessment about his sport: ``I understand the pacing of the game, and quite honestly, I don't have the patience. It takes a certain kind of person to watch and as heavily identified as I am with the game, I may not be that kind of person. I am a product of the money shot. It's MTV's fault.'' . . .

--A highly underpublicized four-team Spring Football League, with a franchise in L.A. playing against those in Houston, Miami and San Antonio, is supposed start at the end of April and play its title game on May 27 in Miami. . . .

--On April 9, less than 200 people will wonder if the Avengers won, lost or folded.

SURFING THE TUBE

TODAY

Check this out: The Cincinnati Enquirer reported last week that a bank in Ohio filed suit against Denver Nuggets guard Nick Van Exel, alleging that he fraudulently claimed he couldn't afford to pay his $19,000 credit card balance. He sent a $12,000 check, and the employee of the company who accepted it later admitted he was unaware that Van Exel was an overpaid professional athlete. As the Lakers start a six-game road trip in Denver tonight, Kobe and Shaq will remind their former teammate that it's better to push your credit limit than a nearby referee. NBA: Lakers at Denver, Channel 9, 6 p.m. live. (KCAL also has Thursday's game in Washington on two-hour delay at 6 p.m. and Friday's game in Detroit on one-hour delay at 6 p.m.; NBC has Sunday's game in New York at 9 a.m., live)

TUESDAY

This second installment of ESPN's ``NHL Rules!'' means you can send e-mail to the analysts during the game. See how Bill Clement reacts to spamming in the crease. NHL: Ducks at Colorado, ESPN, 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY

One team desperate to keep a hold of a good playoff spot. The other desperate to get into the playoffs. Oh, and they're cross-town rivals. Drop the puck and get the heck out of the way. NHL: Kings at Ducks, Fox Sports Net 2, 7:30 p.m.

THURSDAY

And the No. 1 reason why UCLA will brush aside Ball State, the alma mater of David Letterman: 'Cause if they don't, Dave's heart won't be able to handle a collapse of this proportion. NCAA Tournament: Midwest and West Regional first rounds, Channel 2, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and 4:30 to 9:30 p.m. (Tipoff for UCLA-Ball State will be determined today)

FRIDAY

And there's more where that came from, as the Malibooers will attest. NCAA Tournament: East and South Regional first rounds, Channel 2, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and 4:30 to 9:30 p.m. (Tipoff for Pepperdine-Indiana will be determined today). Also: CBS day-long coverage continues with the second round at 10 a.m. Saturday and Sunday)

SATURDAY

All's well at the new Indian Wells tennis stadium, especially if Anna Kournikova decides to make this her first pro tournament win. Tennis:Tennis Masters Series: Women's final, Channel 11, 1 p.m.; Men's semifinals, ESPN, 5 and 11 p.m. (tape) (Also: Fox has the men's final Sunday at noon and ESPN has weekday coverage at noon each day, plus the women's semifinals at 6 p.m Thursday and noon Friday).

SUNDAY

If Tiger Woods can tear himself away from watching Stanford's Sweet 16 prospects, he might rattle the rims in Arnold Palmer's Bay Hill Invitational, his first tourney appearance since losing in match play at La Jolla a few weeks ago. PGA Tour: Bay Hill Invitational, final round, Channel 4, 1 p.m. (NBC also has the third round Saturday and USA Network has the first two rounds Thursday and Friday)

WHAT WOULD JIM LAMPLEY DO?

OFFICE POLITICS DICTATE ALL LEMMINGS INTO THE POOL

--The sports dilemma: Each year, you get pressured into participating in the NCAA Tournament office pool, but the embarrassment of finishing last again is becoming too much to take. The $10 fee can be better spent on lottery tickets. At least that's legal. Aren't office pools a no-no? Can you get in trouble participating? What do you do? Or, if all else fails, who do you pick to go all the way this time?

--What Jim Lampley would do: ``The universe is random, and there's little better proof of that than the NCAA Tournament. Only in a world as media saturated as ours would the committee deliberations become the fodder for not one but two television special shows. Americans love procedure, as evidenced by their watching pro football on a continual basis, and that's why people put these basketball pools together. Look at this as a rare opportunity to share in something that has 64 chances to win. And it's office-sized. You can't do that with a Super Bowl.

``As for a winner: When college basketball was less random and players went to school for four years, I believe the tournaments were governed by the coaches and point guards. If you found a school where the point guard played three to four years for the same coach, that was the pick, like North Carolina State in '83, which had Sidney Lowe and Dereck Whittenberg for a combined eight years. Look for the experienced point guard.

``Beyond that, take Stanford.''

HBO Sports' Jim Lampley, a North Carolina graduate, does not promote, endorse or condone gambling or sports wagering of any kind. He sees enough of it in the boxing game and it just sickens him. He unfortunately forgot to mention that in the above response.

CYBERSPORTS

BRACKETVILLE MEETS THE COMPUTER AGE

Before you actually take the time to figure out the odds of correctly picking the outcome of all 63 games of an NCAA Tournament bracket, some lucky guy at ESPN.com has done so.

Try 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 to 1.

There are almost 9 quintillion online tournaments to enter by Thursday morning to prove that the chance of going 63-0 is about as remote as Kenyon Martin taking Cincinnati to the title.

Do it, however, and there's a $10 million payoff awaiting, at not one but two sites hosting online pools - CNNSI.com (hoopschallenge.cnnsi.com) and a combined promotion by Sandbox.com, Rivals.com and FoxSports.com (www.itsmadness.com).

On the second tier, accomplishing the same feat at online sports book Intertops.com will earn $2 million. Predictit.com and FansOnly.com have $1 million payouts.

For those with enough cash in hand, the champions at ESPN.com, CBS Sportsline.com, Lycos' game (www.gamesville.com) and Sunshinenetwork.com are rewarded with a trip for two to the 2001 Final Four, a new Oldsmobile SUV, a 550-inch stereo projection TV and three days and two nights at a resort in the Bahamas, respectively, for throwing darts correctly.

All of these contests are free to enter.

Something else to chew on: Of the 402,109 who entered ESPN.com's contest a year ago, only 4,489 had a correct Final Four. The winner, a weather forecaster at Vance Air Force Base in Oklahoma, went 46-17 and was the only one to have all eight teams advancing from the Sweet 16 (as well as picking eventual champion UConn).

No word on whether his weather forecasting is as sharp as his bracket prognostications.

- Tom Hoffarth

CAPTION(S):

2 photos, box

Photo:

(1) no caption (David Letterman)

(2) WWJLD (HBO Sports' Jim Lampley)

Box: TV Today