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THE REAL ME: JANE GOLDMAN REVEALS ALL TO NINA MYSKOW; I lost 3 stone and dropped from a size18 to a 10 ..it was just time I got healthy.



WRITER Jane Goldman Jane Goldman (born June 11, 1970) is a British writer and presenter of Jane Goldman Investigates, a paranormal series on LivingTV.

She became romantically involved with TV presenter Jonathan Ross when she was a 16-year-old pop columnist for the Daily Star
 is probably, so far, better known as Mrs Jonathan Ross. Often pictured with him at some glittering media event, Jane always looks glamorous, voluptuous and exotic.

But she has a highly successful career in her own right as an author, including a number one best-seller, The X-Files Book Of The Unexplained, and its sequel, both nominated for awards.

Her first novel, Dreamworld dream´world`   

n. 1. A pleasing country existing only in dreams or imagination; a fantasy land.

Noun 1.
, a thriller, has just been published by HarperCollins at pounds 9.99.

Jane lives with Jonathan and their three children, Betty, eight, Harvey, six, and Honey, three, in North London North London is a part of London, England which has several possible definitions. River & geography
The part of London north of the River Thames (illustrated).
, which is where we met. Sweet-natured, highly intelligent and very talented, Jane is very much a one-off.

I NEVER felt unhappy when I was big. Never. I have lost a lot of weight. And I do feel happier now. But, you know, what was odd was I never had a problem before.

I never felt undesirable. I always felt happy when I looked in the mirror. And my weight's always gone up and down. So I feel a bit crap, actually, having lost weight. Because I was always on a crusade. Yes, you know, "I want to see larger women in the media". And here I am, and I've lost weight.

I lost three stone a year ago. Even my closest friends were stunned at what dress size I wore - a 16 or an 18. But the year before, I was over 11 stone. In fact, it almost started accidentally.

It was winter, and I always get SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder seasonal affective disorder (SAD), recurrent fall or winter depression characterized by excessive sleeping, social withdrawal, depression, overeating, and pronounced weight gain. . I feel really lethargic, like there's a black cloud over cloud over
Verb

1. (of the sky or weather) to become cloudy: it was clouding over and we thought it would rain

2.
 me. And someone said: "Have you tried not eating carbohydrates?"

At the same time, it was coming up to Christmas '98, and we always go to our little holiday house by the sea in Florida. Jonathan's got gym equipment in the garage and stuff, and so we both said: "Let's go Let's Go may refer to: Television
  • Let's Go (Philippine TV series), a teen Philippine sitcom on ABS-CBN
  • Let's Go (New Zealand TV series), a New Zealand television music show
  • Let's Go
 and get really healthy."

So I stopped eating carbohydrates and cut out pasta, bread, potatoes - and all of a sudden, in the most ridiculously dramatic way, the weight was just falling off me.

Within two weeks, I'd lost well over a stone. It was amazing. It really didn't take that long before I was under nine stone. Probably only two months. It was like, "Oh my God!" A real Eureka moment.

And then I started doing Pilates exercise classes when we came back, and I'd never felt so healthy in my life. By February, I felt like a new person. I've been this weight before, but this is the longest I've ever stayed like this, since I was a teenager. I'm 30 in June.

The last time I weighed myself, I was 8stone 13lb. I'm just under 5ft 6in. I do tend to veer up and down by about 5lb.

I stuff my face for a couple of weeks, and when I get to about 9stone 4lb, I think, "Oops, stop a bit." That's the point where my clothes don't fit.

R EMARKABLY, I'm a 10 these days, and I've thrown away all my larger clothes. But the nice thing is, I've haven't lost my bosoms, although I have gone down a bra size. I got properly measured recently.

I'd always thought I was a 34DD. But now, apparently, I'm 32F - I almost can't believe that. F sounds enormous to me.

But I've always been happy with what I've got. I like my shape, and it's nice to know that Jonathan really likes it too. But it wasn't what he originally went for.

He's been unfairly pegged as a boob man, but I wasn't like this when we first met. I guess they've developed along with the relationship.

I was a late developer, quite tiny. I was never one of the pretty girls, I was a kind of geeky, brainy brain·y  
adj. brain·i·er, brain·i·est Informal
Intelligent; smart.



braini·ly adv.
 kid instead, which I really liked. I never looked in the mirror and thought I wanted to look any different.

From as far back as I can remember, I loved the really glamorous, cartoon-ish Jessica Rabbit look. I was always wore insane things to school.

I pretty much always wanted to be a writer, I wrote all the time. I was so clear on the fact that I wanted to be a journalist, that I asked my parents if I could go to a tutorial college to do my O levels early, which I did when I was 13.

I got offered a job as a pop writer on a daily newspaper when I was 15. And then when I started going out with Jonathan, I realised I couldn't go on working for them, there was a conflict of interest. They stole my holiday photos out of my top drawer top drawer
Noun

Old-fashioned, informal people of the highest social standing
 and printed them on the front page!

I was working for Just Seventeen when we got married, then went freelance when I was 19, when we wanted to start a family.

Just after I'd had Betty, I started writing books. I wrote four books Four Books
 Chinese Sishu

Ancient Confucian texts used as the basis of study for civil service examinations (see Chinese examination system) in China (1313–1905).
 for teenagers, light-hearted advice-y books, and two books on The X Files.

When I first met Jonathan, even though we'd only spoken for 15 seconds, I was completely knocked out. I was 16, and we were both by chance at a party at Stringfellows.

I was instantly bowled over. I remember almost sort of staggering away. I got home, and said to my mum: "I've met the man I'm going to marry."

We met again the next week. And despite the fact that when he discovered our age difference (he was 26 and didn't call me for about a month, which seemed like 10 years - I just slept, hibernated in the dark) we got married when I was just 18.

It's amazing to have found each other. I don't think there's anyone else, out there in the world, that would be so perfect for me. Oh my God, he's part of me, and I'm part of him.

He's my best friend, I still find him incredibly attractive, I still really fancy him. I love the fact we have the same trains of thought, like the same things. We bought each other the same Christmas present!

We love theme parks. In fact, I got my idea for Dreamworld, when a Disney guide kindly showed us the underground tunnels there.

My immediate thought was "Something horrible could happen under here, and no-one would know". We both love gory go·ry  
adj. go·ri·er, go·ri·est
1. Covered or stained with gore; bloody.

2. Full of or characterized by bloodshed and violence.
, horror films!stantly in movies, more than is natural. We both cried about six times in Toy Story 2, just sitting there clutching each other's hands, with tears streaming down our faces.

He's amazing with the children, and we're both intensely childish.

We often stop and say, "God, if anyone saw us or heard us, they would just be absolutely horrified hor·ri·fy  
tr.v. hor·ri·fied, hor·ri·fy·ing, hor·ri·fies
1. To cause to feel horror. See Synonyms at dismay.

2. To cause unpleasant surprise to; shock.
." Really childish jokes about bodily functions Bodily Functions
See also body, human.

deglutition

the process or act of swallowing.

desquamation

the shedding of the superficial epithelium, as of skin, the mucous membranes, etc.
, making up stupid songs. Which is why the hiccup hiccup or hiccough, involuntary spasmodic contraction of the diaphragm followed by a sharp intake of air, which is abruptly stopped by a sudden, involuntary closing of the glottis (opening between the vocal cords); the consequent blocking of air  we had in our relationship last year was so weird So Weird is a television series shot in Vancouver, British Columbia that aired on the Disney Channel as a midseason replacement from January 18th, 1999 to September 28th, 2001. .

We were never going to split up, but it was tension between us, because I'd got into this funny state of mind, and had to go off and get help. Jonathan felt very lost and worried holding the fort, and not knowing I was OK.

It was more, "Christ we're arguing a lot, I think I'll go and stay somewhere else". I'd gone into the Priory for two weeks. It was all triggered by insomnia. I was so sleep-deprived by last April, I couldn't think straight.

I thought I was going mad. Every few days, I'd be so overcome by exhaustion, I'd crash out in the afternoon for a few hours, and that was it. That was all the sleep I was getting.

The Priory put me on sleeping pills, and after a week, I felt better.

People think itis a trendy media place, but I was in the depression and breakdown area, majorly ma·jor·ly  
adv. Slang
To a great or an intense degree; extremely: got majorly depressed when she saw her test scores. 
 serious.

A psychiatric hospital psychiatric hospital
n.
A hospital for the care and treatment of patients affected with acute or chronic mental illness. Also called mental hospital.
. It irritates me when people say: "Did you go in there for a rest?" Jesus, there were people running around there with their wrists cut. If I'd wanted a rest, I'd have gone to a health farm.

JUST before I left, they let me out for the weekend, and we went down to this hotel in Dorset. Honey got bitten by an adder adder: see viper.
adder

Any of several venomous snakes of the viper family (Viperidae) and the death adder, a viperlike elapid. Vipers include the common adder, puff adders, and night adders. Adders occur in Europe, Asia, Africa, and Australia.
, an unlikely and unfortunate incident.

Jonathan, poor thing, had been under so much pressure, he was beside himself. He was so upset, that I ended up dealing with this family trauma.

And I thought: "This is stressful, but I'm coping. I think I'm OK." We sorted ourselves out pretty quickly after that. I went and stayed in a bleak flat for a couple of weeks, but came back here every day, had breakfast with the kids, read them stories.

At the end of that, in June, we decided to go on holiday. And that was lovely, it was wonderful. Since then, everything's been perfectly normal.

I'm not even sure how that ridiculous story went round that I was having an affair - every time I was photographed with Jonathan, we were snogging Noun 1. snogging - (British informal) cuddle and kiss
caressing, cuddling, fondling, hugging, kissing, petting, smooching, snuggling, necking - affectionate play (or foreplay without contact with the genital organs)
, for heaven's sake.

Like that joke story about Liza Minelli propositioning him. It was so unlike him, he would never brag about anything like that.

He would never even think anyone thought he was attractive, that's the funny thing.

The thought of him striding into a room demanding my permission to sleep with Liza Minelli is hilarious. I suppose people just like gossip. I do! Since last summer, life's seemed never better. I can't remember being this happy, although I had a lot of years on a pretty even keel.

It sounds sappy, but I maybe hadn't stopped to think how lucky I was. I didn't take anything for granted.

But to go through something horrible, and to come out the other side and find your life is fantastic, I just feel very, very grateful. To have Jonathan, and the children and a job I love.

It feels like a fresh start. This year I want to spend more time with the kids. Which I'm sure my publishers will be thrilled to hear! The deadline for my second novel looms.

I love my work, but my home life is so fulfilling, that I don't tend to be driven by work ambitions.

Quite honestly, I'm so happy to be Jonathan's wife, and my children's mum, that anything else is a bonus.

An absolute bonus.

I'M IN LOAF WITH A BIG BLOOMER

MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL

BREAD. Loaves of. Oh yeah. LOVE bread. A nice fresh-baked white bloomer from the local bakery, I can eat the entire thing, very easily. Not toasted, just fresh with butter. Sometimes I slice it thick, but I also like just ripping pieces off.

I like the squidgy middle and the crusty outside. I bake quite nice bread as well, hot bread is a huge downfall. I probably couldn't eat more than a loaf, but a large bloomer is pretty big.

MY FAVOURITE DRINK

I COULD probably count the amount of alcohol that I've had this year and I had 1 cocktails at my book launch, but I'm just not that keen. Especially with mood swings and stuff, I just prefer to hang on to a nice clean head.

We keep Evian water on every floor of the house, we go through boxes. Jonathan and I drink a frightening amount of Diet Coke Diet Coke (sometimes known as Diet Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola Light or Coke Light) is a sugar-free soft drink produced and distributed by The Coca-Cola Company.  and Pepsi Max Pepsi Max is a low-calorie, sugar-free cola, marketed by PepsiCo as an alternative to regular Pepsi and Diet Pepsi. History . We've probably ingested in·gest  
tr.v. in·gest·ed, in·gest·ing, in·gests
1. To take into the body by the mouth for digestion or absorption. See Synonyms at eat.

2.
 more aspartame aspartame: see sweetener, artificial.
aspartame

Synthetic organic compound (a dipeptide) of phenylalanine and aspartic acid. It is 150–200 times as sweet as cane sugar and is used as a nonnutritive tabletop sweetener and in low-calorie
 than lab rats This article or section contains information about a scheduled .
It may contain non-definitive information based on commercials, a website or interviews.
.

MY HORMONE HELL

WHEN I was just pregnant with Harvey, Jonathan was working for VH-1, and we were living in a flat in LA with Betty, who was two. We'd lost a baby after her, which was terribly sad.

So I was having daily injections of progesterone progesterone (prōjĕs`tərōn'), female sex hormone that induces secretory changes in the lining of the uterus essential for successful implantation of a fertilized egg. , which Jonathan had to give me. He had to learn how to do it! It was like a daily surge of hormones, kind of PMT See photomultiplier tube.  plus. I saw the first episode of the X Files on TV. No wonder I got so obsessed ob·sess  
v. ob·sessed, ob·sess·ing, ob·sess·es

v.tr.
To preoccupy the mind of excessively.

v.intr.
!

MY CROWNING GLORY

YOU like my hair? Oh, thank you, it's not all mine. I've got extensions. Mine would never be this thick and luxuriant luxuriant /lux·u·ri·ant/ (lug-zhoor´e-ant) growing freely or excessively. . I'm really happy with the colour. I have my roots bleached by a friend down the road, and add this semi-permanent tint called called Poppy Red.

I think I've always wanted this colour, I can't think why I didn't do it before. And children love it! But when we go to Florida, God, it causes such a stir.

MY CLOSET SECRETS

I'VE GOT a pretty good bra library, about 20. And Vivienne Westwood Dame Vivienne Westwood, DBE, RDI, (born 8 April, 1941) is an English fashion designer largely responsible for modern punk and new wave fashions[1].

She is linked with the Sex Pistols via Malcolm McLaren and their SEX/Seditionaries
 corsets that Jonathan has bought me. I used to buy a lot in America, but now I've found this range here called Fantasie, which does up to a G cup.

They do the Rigby and Peller bras, they're really pretty. I can never not wear one. If I get into my pyjamas pyjamas or US pajamas
Noun, pl

a loose-fitting jacket or top and trousers worn to sleep in [Persian pai leg + jāma garment]

pyjamas, pajamas (US) npl (BRIT
 at 6pm, I still put a bra on underneath, I couldn't spend the whole evening braless. A bit sad really.

MY BIGGEST TREAT

I DO like quantity, I've eaten whole packets of biscuits, but I think everyone has, haven't they?

Sometimes on a Sunday night, one of us will nip down the offy, and buy a whole carrier bag full of chocolate bars. Two of everything - Mars, Bounty, Milky Way, Crunchie, KitKat. We'll watch telly and eat the lot, until we start feeling sick. Not every Sunday, but once in a while I just love having a piggy chocolate fest.

But at the same time we both cry con
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Article Details
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Myskow, Nina
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Mar 3, 2000
Words:2250
Previous Article:Last Night's View: Child's play? Anything but.
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