THE MEDIA : MCCORD MASKS DISAPPOINTMENT OVER MASTERS.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

In Year 4 of the Great Augusta Banishment, Gary McCord continues to take the high road. Figuratively and literally.

As CBS' irreverent golf analyst goes on a semi-maddening book tour to promote his cathartic collection of essays entitled ``Just a Range Ball in a Box of Titleists,'' McCord must frequently address the question that comes up in every interview, at every signing.

Aren't you upset that you can't be part of CBS' coverage of the Masters?

``Maybe the penalty far exceeded the crime,'' he said, ``but I've got no control over the situation. They run one hell of a tournament, so they must be doing something right.''

Turn a negative into a positive.

Just like if you tried tracking him down this weekend, it'd be positively impossible.

For the record, he's with his grandkids skiing near his home in Vail, Colo.

Also for the record: McCord doesn't ski.

In 1994, the first year that the Masters organizers told CBS producer Frank Chirkanian that either the network goes or McCord goes, he took the advice of fellow golf-establishment outcast Bill Murray and disappeared. He rented a houseboat at Lake Powell in Arizona and ``got lost in the nineteen-hundred and twelve miles of shoreline . . . you couldn't find me on a bet.''

McCord continues to pay the price for free speech, going into hibernation each spring just as the azaleas come into bloom. That blasphemous choice of words - ``bikini wax'' and ``body bags'' for the Augusta course's slick greens and troublesome hazards - continue to haunt him.

Four years later, publicly, McCord laughs. It's the best way to handle a really stupid set of circumstances.

It's also a great way to mask disappointment.

McCord reclined on a bed in his room in the Beverly Prescott - he's wearing a gray T-shirt with the logo ``Planet Golf'' on the front, Levi's and a pair of gray socks - and gazed up at the pristine decor.

``Man, this is Gothic awful,'' he said.

It's a perfect example of McCord's middle-class honesty getting in the way of high-class snobbery.

In Augusta, honesty isn't the best policy. So McCord must sit in his corner again and contemplate his punishment.

``We as golf announcers seem to be scrutinized more than most others on TV, and I don't know why,'' McCord said.

``The stuff I'm saying . . . it's not a censorship issue. Especially with what's on TV during late night - and even in prime time these days. I really don't know what it is.

``I'm at a point the other day where I'm almost cognizant of my word structure. Man, when it gets to that point, I'm outta here. If I'm measuring my words . . .

``Why is everyone so uptight about this?''

Ask former CBS golf analyst Ben Wright, who had to deny he made comments about lesbianism on the LPGA Tour, but actress Ellen DeGeneris can come out on the cover of Time magazine.

Ask John Daly, whose struggle with alcohol makes just as big a headline as Arnold Palmer's battle with cancer.

Ask Tiger Woods, who was roasted in a GQ cover story this month for off-color comments he made.

``The Masters' flap seemed to put a lot of adrenaline behind this,'' said McCord, who, when his crime occurred, tried to kill it then by making his only public comment in the less-than-mainstream Golf World magazine. (That essay was posted on his America Online site and is included in the new book.)

``You know, our sport is really pretty antiseptic,'' McCord said. ``Maybe the press gets a little tabloid, but our guys are fairly intelligent. They realize the press is there to talk about them.

``Now they're becoming withdrawn - they're always in search of sponsor contracts and mixing in with corporate America. They can't take a wrong step.''

Nor can someone like McCord.

To CBS' credit, it didn't collapse under the bad publicity of the Masters' reaction (which was sparked by Tom Watson) and give McCord his outright release, as it did to Wright.

To CBS' detriment, it never tried to push the issue. It can't risk losing another major sporting event.

CBS' reward for its loyalty is being a part of the most-watched and highest-rated golf tournament annually on TV - and it won a Sports Emmy for its coverage last year. But it doesn't get much in return from the Augusta codgers.

After 42 years of coverage, the network has not been allowed to televise the front nine of Augusta. It's the only golf major in which all 18 holes aren't shown to the TV audience. CBS is granted 2-1/2 hours of coverage Saturday and 3-1/2 hours Sunday - with only four minutes of commercials per hour.

``We like it that way,'' said Ken Venturi. ``I don't want to watch another hour of slow play at 1, 2, 3 and 4. It's still the No. 1-watched tournament in the world. And The Masters doesn't begin until the back nine on Sunday anyway.''

Asked this week about it, Masters chairman Jack Stephens said: ``Progress is slow in that area. It's slow because we just don't want to do it.''

And this year, for the first time, the CBS production team is allowed to use audio keys, technical devices that allow the on-course announcers to update each other on newsworthy events.

One reason this was changed was due to a flap last year. CBS' Peter Kostis made a remark to a Golf Channel reporter - he prophetically predicted a final-round flop by Greg Norman because of a flaw he saw in his swing - and the comment was aired second-hand, upsetting Norman. Kostis, at the 11th hole, said part of the problem was that he couldn't make the point to his colleagues who were broadcasting at the finishing holes.

Sean McDonough, the personality-less commentator who will sit at the 16th hole in place of McCord this weekend, actually said he is ``amused'' by those who complain about Masters censorship.

``This isn't different from the NCAA, which has rules and regulations about access to the bench area and things like that'' McDonough said. ``Any event you do is going to have guidelines on what you can say and can't say. This isn't much different. It's an issue that's been overplayed.''

Maybe so. But for McCord, who has played only a few practice rounds at Augusta but never appeared in the tournament as a participant, the banishment has almost become a badge of honor, and one he doesn't expect to end anytime soon.

``I talk to my friends who are muni players - they'll never play Augusta - and vicariously they like the fact I can't go there, too,'' said McCord, grinning again beneath his handlebar mustache. ``So maybe there's some purpose to this. I'm like everyone else who can't get in there in any shape or form.''

Imagine if this maniacal TV personality actually won a tournament, as NBC's Johnny Miller did a few years back at Pebble Beach. McCord, who made the cut last January at the PGA event in Kapalua and plays as often as he can to keep his card, could actually force his way back to the Masters as a participant.

In theory.

``Remember,'' he said with a smirk, ``it's still an invitation tournament.''

An invitation to more controversy. And a road McCord would just as soon go off into a dead end.

STATION BREAK

What smokes

Why, Gary McCord's new book, of course. ``Just a Range Ball in a Box of Titleists'' (Putnam, $22.95) sets the tone for don't- miss chapters like ``Blindman's Buff'' (p. 27), ``Celebrity Hacks'' (p. 127) and ``High Jinks on the Diamond'' (p. 151), plus his glossary of McCordisms in the introduction. In the poetic conclusion, ``If it's golf, then why do I cry?'' McCord reveals a heart-tugging reflection on life as a pro golfer and how it affects family members. On his entire body of work, McCord sums it up: ``For this day and age, I think it's a pretty good read on the john.''

What chokes

The only place to find Gary McCord commentary on this weekend's Masters is via the computer. Don't bother checking the official Masters' Web site (http://www.masters.com) or the virtual tour of the course (http://www.augustagolf.com). McCord is in America Online's main auditorium answering questions tonight at 6 p.m.

CAPTION(S):

Photo, Box

Photo: no caption (Gary McCord)

Box: STATION BREAK (See Text)