THE MEDIA : LOBBING QUESTIONS DOESN'T CUT IT.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

It's not in the TV listings, so don't bother looking. But the American Softball Federation has quietly worked a deal with ESPN to do a daily afternoon program the past few years.

The show goes by the name ``Up Close'' with Chris Myers.

For as much garbage as Roy Firestone took during his tenure as the face-touching, just-gimme-some-tears-at-some-point host who only needed one chair on the set because he was usually sitting on the guest's lap, Myers couldn't help but come out smelling even a little better.

But he really hasn't.

Firestone might have looked transparent. Myers is just plain invisible.

There was a point when ``Up Close'' was worth watching, if not for the guest value, than to see someone like Dennis Rodman cry. Or Dennis Erickson cry. Or Dennis Arnold, the bat boy for the Single-A Arkansas Mudflaps, cry. All while Firestone was doing his Chuck Barris ``Gong Show'' routine.

If elevated ``Up Close'' in stature in the ESPN lineup to what ``Larry King Live'' is to CNN. Which is basically a show very, very few watch but many talk about because it makes you seem topical.

Somehow, Myers has managed to make Firestone look like a combination of Eddie Murray and Edward R. Murrow. Both in their prime, of course.

Myers used to be a respected, tenacious ESPN West Coast field reporter who could tie together a minute and 30 seconds of videotape like an Eagle Scout. But in this role, he's become another .232 hitter at the bottom of the lineup you don't even want to see in the late innings with the game on the line.

Myers might as well leave a clipboard of questions on the guest chair and let them answer aloud. Or to themselves. If there was an studio audience for ``Up Close'' now, you'd expect to hear a polite golf clap after each show.

Every athlete who comes through L.A. must beg to be taken to the ``Up Close'' studios in Hollywood because, a) it's a free limo ride to and from the hotel, b) one heck of a spread in the green room, c) there's no fear of being made to put yourself out.

Thursday, when Chris Evert was the guest, Myers couldn't get much past the ``What was it like being romantically linked to Jimmy Connors?'' questions. He could have started calling her ``Jim Everett'' and it wouldn't have gotten her to dive over the desk and send him sprawling. It just wasn't worth it.

When someone does appear to make news - as Chicago White Sox slugger Frank Thomas did in the days after owner Jerry Reinsdorf decided the team had no chance of making a run at first - the interview gets treated like a future archive in the Television Hall of Fame, edited and re-edited, played and replayed in every shape and snipped for ``SportsCenter'' or a ``Sunday Night Conversation'' or ``Baseball Tonight'' segment, or even trickling down to fill time on ESPNEWS.

If ESPN chooses to keep this as one of its ``signature shows,'' it might as well sign the death certificate now. ``Up Close'' has gone six-feet under.

In quest of becoming media mavens:

It might seem as if the only time the WNBA's Sparks receive a mention on the sports-section front page or the TV news is when the story involves a coaching firing, or the GM, new coach and star player is hit with a fine for criticizing the officials.

Maybe that's a product of having predominantly male news editors making decisions.

At least that's one theory Meghan Pattyson, who does game analysis on Lifetime's WNBA coverage, advanced in a conversation with reporters this week that included NBC's Ann Meyers and ESPN's Geno Auriemma, who cover the league for their respective networks.

Asked about the spin the local media has put on the new women's league, Pattyson responded:

``Heading into the season, so many media expected it to fail. When that didn't happen, the initial reaction was, `Well, it's just the newness.' Now it's sustained the summer. And part of reason coverage has not been more extensive is a lot of guys writing articles about the league don't know what to say except when it involves coaching change or fines.

``This is such a different ball of wax. You can't believe how much fun 8,000 fans in L.A. have when them come out to a game because every single one wants to be there. A place like the Forum can be deafening with so many kids laughing and carrying on. It's an event and it's about being entertained by good competition.''

Added Meyers about L.A. league coverage: ``On a local-affiliate level, there doesn't seem to be the support. I'm surprised Fox didn't pick up Sparks games for whatever reason like MSG did with New York Liberty games. No question it'd be nice to see more local coverage. But even the national media, you could watch CNN or Fox cable sports news, and there's no reason why they shouldn't be putting up 20 to 30 seconds of highlights from each games. Hopefully attitudes will change.''

Auriemma, the coach for the University of Connecticut women's team that won the NCAA title two years ago, reflected on how national TV exposure might not have helped the WNBA's cause early on.

``Coming from the Big East, you find out that when you're good, the TV coverage gives you exposure, but when you're bad, TV coverage exposes you. The level of play in the WNBA has been bad at times and unbelievably great at times. That's a chance the NBA was willing to take with this league. They bit the bullet. Initially, viewers might have thought, `Those are pro players?' If those fans didn't go away and tuned in now, they'd see a marked difference.''

Blah, blah, blah . . .:Dan Hicks, not John Tesh, joins Tim Daggett and Elfi Schlegel for NBC's weekend prime-time coverage of the U.S. Gymnastics Championships from McNichols Arena in Denver. True to form, the shows Saturday (8 p.m.-9 p.m.) and Sunday (7p.m.-8 p.m.) are tape-delayed, giving viewers that true Olympic feel. . . . Former UCLA star Jerry Robinson, an inductee into the College Football Hall of Fame in South Bend, Ind., on Saturday (airing on ESPN Monday at 1 p.m.) told XTRA's Morning Show guys John Ireland and Steve Mason the reason he's there is thanks to a nomination drawn up by XTRA's Steve Hartman (UCLA grad and former Raiders gopher) and UCLA sports information director Marc Dellins. . . . Kings play-by-play legend Bob Miller, about to embark on his 25th season with the team, continues to rest a bit uncomfortably at his Woodland Hills home following double-hernia surgery. Some suggest the injury was a result of the fact he's had to carry the broadcast the last few years. . . . From the Fox PR department: The Saturday-morning kids show ``In the Zone'' picked 7-year-old Tristian Akahoshi-Nuget of Studio City as the grand-prize winner of its nation-wide sweepstakes. His prize - spending this afternoon at a Hermosa Beach pizza parlor with the Dodgers' Mike Piazza, then out to the ballyard tonight to have a catch prior to the Dodgers-Reds game. Akahoshi-Nuget's excellent adventure will be part of the Sept. 27 edition of ``In the Zone''. . . . Fox Sports West 2 will start Dodgers-Reds coverage early today (6:30 p.m.) to carry the Tommy Lasorda jersey-retirement ceremony. For those who don't have FSW2 yet, close your eyes and pretend. . . . HBO has enough material to block out 40 minutes for a replay of last week's first-round KO that Roy Jones Jr. delivered to Montell Griffin Saturday at 10:30 p.m.

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WHAT SMOKES

A special ESPN announcement Thursday that Kenny Mayne has be picked from a litter of guys and girls around the office to be the new however-permanent-you-can-call-it partner for Dan Patrick on ``SportsCenter,'' ending minutes of speculation and days of indifference. Patrick and former partner Keith Olbermann agreed it would never be called ``The Big Show'' again, and the phrase ``tag-team partner'' was retired, which forces Mayne, whose responsibility lately has been to host a motor-sports show on ESPN2, will have to establish his own identity. His first suggestion: Call it ``The Mayne Event.'' Patrick declined comment.

WHAT CHOKES

CNN/SI getting its shorts in a bunch recruiting new talent. Jockey brand underwear announced it has teamed with the 24-hour sports-news channel that unfortunately will allow the Fred Hickman wannabe-grand-prize winner to tape a highlight with the promise that it'll be used on air. ``We're looking forward to seeing what kind of entries the contest with Jockey brings,'' Jim Walton, the exec in charge of CNN/SI, is actually quoted as saying in the brief's brief press release. For those who are interested: Find a contest form and by Sept. 15 send in a 45- to 60-second videotape of yourself ``reporting on an actual or fictitious local sporting event.'' That's good. Teach 'em right away that either fact or fiction is acceptable.

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