THE MEDIA\Wright secures place in idiocy.

Byline: Tom Hoffarth

Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot.

I'm not even making that up. It's the title of a book out this week by Al Franken.

Agree or not - political agendas aside - a phrase like this can be stated, printed, repeated and, occasionally, held against you in a court of law in this country.

If Limbaugh found it libelous and sued Franken, he wouldn't win this one. Limbaugh is a public figure. The book is shelved in the humor section - it's satire. It could also be true (as Franken easily shows).

Franken has the ultimate First Amendment insurance coverage.

Ben Wright is also a big fat idiot.

Ask Franken, Limbaugh, anyone - including Wright himself. Anyone would feel secure saying it right now.

Security, obviously, is what the CBS golf analyst felt last May with whatever he told a newspaper reporter about lesbians in the LPGA and women's physical limitations. Hey, Big Ben was a newspaper man himself when he started as a journalist 42 years ago.

Wright equally felt secure in denying everything when the story first came out.

Wright then felt secure enough to make some personal accusations about the writer, Valerie Helmbreck, of the News Journal in Wilmington, Del. That's about when Sports Illustrated felt secure in its Dec. 4 issue to accuse him of lying about being misquoted.

Secure is what CBS felt - eventually - when it announced Tuesday that two apparent wrongs don't make Wright right. The "continuing controversy" Wright has caused the network is not equal to Wright's 23 years of fairly excellent golf coverage (even though he'll still to be paid for the next four years).

Finally, Wright felt secure again to release a convoluted statement this week saying he admitted making the "insensitive remarks," even though he was "misquoted."

Ben Wright is a big fat idiot.

We feel secure in stating it again.

(Note to editor: If you don't use it in the headline, you're a big fat idiot, too.)

Funny how the constitutional right that allowed divot-head Wright to speak his mind also allows the rest of us to call him a big fat idiot.

Wright defenders aren't tough to locate, actually. Many who've responded with e-mail to America Online's golf site regarding the Wright-fodder Affair say he was wronged because a) what he said was accurate, b) the spiteful media that manipulated his comments profits from these kind of controversies, c) he was blindsided by political correctness.

Accuracy, media bashing and PC will get you nowhere when you open your mouth and insert your Foot-Joy.

What happened was that Wright's ego got in the way, the same way a woman's breasts get in the way of a golf shot.

What happened was that Wright's better judgment wasn't exercised, just as LPGA lesbians exercise their right to stay in the closet.

If Wright had said most middle-aged white guys can't play golf because they have huge stomachs, would more people be upset, or would the accuracy of his statements negate any emotional response?

(And just how does Craig Stadler swing a club anyway? Explain that one, Benny).

The gray area CBS became mired in was partly its own doing.

It wasn't fair that Wright became a unwitting spokesman for women's golf, even if he didn't make the statements on-air.

Wright, as have many in his profession, has been put in elevated positions by the network sports divisions and the media. USA Today's practice of running a daily sports media column hasn't caught on as a national trend, but it has exposed this strange need for interviewing TV talking heads as if their off-camera opinions are quasi-social commentary.

Wright, who just obliged CBS a little too much in this case, was in a professional role when he was being interviewed. He's media savvy enough to know what's going on.

And whatever he said may have even been in that nebulous "off-the-record" force field.

Kind of like how Wright's former employer, CBS, turned news anchor Connie Chung loose on Newt Gingrich's mother during an interview aside.

Wright should be commended for his honesty and pitied for his ignorance. He should be thanked by CBS for his years of service and sent to his room until he can learn how to act around others.

Meanwhile, maybe Chung will get another chance to lean over to Gingrich's mom and ask - between you and me - what the Speaker of the House thinks of Rush Limbaugh?

"He's a big fat idiot," Mrs. Gingrich might say.

After which, many may wonder who she's talking about.

Her son? Limbaugh? Ben Wright?

It really doesn't matter. She's got to feel pretty secure saying it about any of those three.

STATION BREAK

Starting off on the right foot with the media's pulse, January 1996:

What smokes: The Associated Press going to Jimmy Johnson's mother on Wednesday to confirm her son's signing as coach of the Miami Dolphins (reporters must remember to use all avenues of coercion available); Santa Anita and Prime Sports starting an 11-telecast live with Saturday's San Fernando Stakes (Bill Seward of KNX-AM, KCBS-Channel 2, KDOC-Channel 56's Santa Anita show and ESPN's horse racing shows will master the ceremonies); Sports Illustrated's Jan. 15 piece on Troy Aikman and his computer hacking ability (try Troy's new home web page: http://www.concussion.com); CBS ready to faze out golf producer Frank Chirkanian (one of Ben Wright's hot-and-cold supporters through this whole thing); VH1 running old "American Bandstand" shows (not a sports media highlight, but worth mentioning nonetheless).

What chokes: A pending format change at all-sports KMAX-FM, scheduled for March (would anyone in the Valley notice?); ESPN's Chris Berman and Fox's Howie Long (and, hey, isn't that NBC's Phil Simms posing as a player?) in the Taco Bell bacon banquet commercial (how do they explain the sizzlin' pork stains when they return their tuxedos?); the broadcasting future of CBS' Terry "Dead Air" Donahue; the Chicago Cubs announcing that Harry Caray will return another year (just what the ACLU loves to hear); the fact that the American Sportscasters Association has no Hall of Fame to speak of (it recently "inducted" Chick Hearn, but Chick has no place to take Marge to show off his bust); NBC's Ahmad Rashad doing an interview with Hearn for Saturday's "NBA Inside Stuff" (hard hittin'? you bet).

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