THE LINEUP : NETWORKS GIVE BIRTH TO BEVY OF NEW SHOWS FOX.Byline: Keith Marder Daily News Television Critic ``Holding the Baby'' Premiered Aug. 23. Take two men, a nanny and a baby. Add them together. What do you get? A very bad show. Formulaic, implausible and scatological sca·tol·o·gy n. pl. sca·tol·o·gies 1. The study of fecal excrement, as in medicine, paleontology, or biology. 2. a. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions. b. . And that's not the worst of it. ``That '70s Show'' Premiered Aug. 23. The culturally bankrupt days of disco and feathered hair are back and funnier than ever. A likable cast takes you through their days of teen angst, before anyone ever heard of teen angst. ``Costello'' Premiered Sept. 15. Stand-up stand·up or stand-up adj. 1. Standing erect; upright: a standup collar. 2. Taken, done, or used while standing: a standup supper; a standup bar. comic Sue Costello is unique all right. But she may actually be too unique. This half-hour comedy set in a bar in South Boston is not as much about good will as some bad will. The show, about blue-collar Irish-Americans, is often too shrill. ``Living in Captivity'' Premiered Sept. 11. One of two new sitcoms about African-Americans moving into the suburbs. This one proves the theory that the one premiering first is worst. Too much of the humor comes from stereotypes. ``Brimstone'' Premieres Oct. 27. A gritty hour drama. Peter Horton (``thirtysomething'') plays a dead police officer who was banished to hell. He gets a second chance for salvation after 113 of the most heinous criminals of all time break out of Hades Hades (hā`dēz), in Greek and Roman religion and mythology. 1 The ruler of the underworld: see Pluto. 2 The world of the dead, ruled by Pluto and Persephone, located either underground or in the far west beyond the , and he is sent to Earth to stop them. The good news is the pilot was interesting. The bad news is the show is on its third executive producer. The WB ``The Army Show'' Premiered Sept. 6. A missable sitcom about the goings-on at a forgotten military base. Think of ``The Phil Silvers Show'' without the laughs. ``Hyperion Bay'' Premieres Monday. Mark-Paul Gosselaar (``Saved by the Bell'') is back on television as a computer geek who comes back to his hometown to prove to everyone that he has made it. Sibling rivalries abound. ``Felicity'' Premieres Sept. 29. The most anticipated show of the new season, especially for the ``Dawson's Creek'' crowd. Kerri Russell stars as Felicity, a lovely, intelligent young lady who throws away everything to follow a boy to college in New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of . ``Charmed'' Premieres Oct. 7. Aaron's Angels are back. Shannen Doherty, best-known for her role as Brenda Walsh on ``Beverly Hills, 90210,'' is back in Camp Spelling, and Alyssa Milano, late of ``Melrose Place,'' is also aboard. They play two of three sisters who are good witches fighting the forces of evil. CBS (Cell Broadcast Service) See cell broadcast. ``The Brian Benben Show'' Premieres Monday. Brian Benben must stretch to play Brian Benben, a news anchor who has been demoted to human-interest reporter to make way for a younger, prettier anchor in this uneven comedy. There are few things as ripe for lampooning as local news. ``The King of Queens'' Premieres Monday. A big lout Lout - Lout is a batch text formatting system and an embedded language by Jeffrey H. Kingston <jeff@cs.su.oz.au>. The language is procedural, with Scribe-like syntax. of a blue-collar guy loses his TV room to his father-in-law, played by Jerry Stiller in a very Frank Costanza-like way. Somehow this show is almost exactly like ``That's Life,'' a failed midseason replacement show, only better. ``L.A. Doctors'' Premieres Monday. Four doctors, led by Ken Olin (``thirtysomething''), try to bring a personal touch back to medicine in the days of managed care. More than watchable watch·a·ble adj. 1. Capable of being watched; viewable: watchable wildlife. 2. Good enough to watch: "The fastest modem ... . ``Buddy Faro'' Premieres Friday. One of the most interesting shows of the season. Dennis Farina plays the title character, a private eye who has been out of circulation since the '70s. He teams up with Frank Whaley. ``Martial Law'' Premieres Saturday. A high-concept show that plays out like a Jackie Chan movie each week. Sammo Hung, a puffy martial artist, uses his cunning and kicking to fight crime. ``Maggie Winters'' Premieres Sept. 30. Faith Ford (``Murphy Brown'') plays a Midwestern girl who goes out on her own. She fails both on a professional and personal level and is forced to move back home. ``To Have and to Hold''Premieres Sept. 30. An hourlong romantic comedy from meteoric producer Joanne Waters. He (Jason Beghe) is a cop and she (Moira Kelly) is a defense attorney who disagree on nearly everything. ABC ABC in full American Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. ``The Hughleys'' Premieres Tuesday. The other African-Americans-move-to-the-suburb show, but this one is one of the best of the batch. Based on the life of comedian D.L. Hughley, it plays real as well as really funny. ``Sports Night'' Premieres Tuesday. A Larry-Sanders-type look at ESPN's ``SportsCenter.'' The problem is that while ``Sanders'' was funnier than any of the other late-night shows with the addition of the behind-the-scenes insight, ``SportsCenter'' is more entertaining than ``Sports Night'' almost every day. ``Brother's Keeper'' Premieres Friday. Very similar to ``Holding the Baby.'' A stuffy English professor is raising his 8-year-old son. Then his wacky brother, a professional football player, moves in. ``Two of a Kind'' Premieres Friday. The Olsen twins are back and almost teen-agers. They play the daughters of a single father. One is a tomboy tomboy Psychology A popular term for a girl whose developmental gender-identity/role is discordant with her genotype. Cf Sissy. , the other wears lipstick. Who said Fridays would never be the same? ``Cupid'' Premieres Saturday. A modern-day Cupid, portrayed by Jeremy Piven, was banished from Mount Olympus. He has no wings or arrow and must put 100 couples together to get back home. This show has a chance to stick around long enough for him to do it. ``Fantasy Island'' Premieres Saturday. A darker version of the '70s classic. Malcolm McDowell replaces Ricardo Montalban, black suits replace white ones, and a big guy from the Bronx replaces Tattoo. The other major change is that the show will have two fantasies instead of three per week. ``Vengeance Unlimited'' Premieres Sept. 29. Michael Madsen is Mr. Chapel, a man who likes to see justice done. The modern-day vigilante vigilante n. someone who takes the law into his/her own hands by trying and/or punishing another person without any legal authority. In the 1800s groups of vigilantes dispensed "frontier justice" by holding trials of accused horse-thieves, rustlers and shooters, and fights against those who use their money and power to manipulate the system. ``The Secret Lives of Men'' Premieres Sept. 30. A pretty grim comedy. A bunch of guys A Bunch of Guys (BOGs), or Group of Guys (GOGs) are terms used by counter-terrorism officials to refer to small, self-organizing terrorist cells.[1] BOGs typically have little to no contact with global terrorist groups like al Qaeda, so they independently plan and play golf together and don't say many funny things. NBC NBC in full National Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. commercial broadcasting company. It was formed in 1926 by RCA Corp., General Electric Co. (GE), and Westinghouse and was the first U.S. company to operate a broadcast network. ``Conrad Bloom''Premieres Monday. A great catch is looking for Looking for In the context of general equities, this describing a buy interest in which a dealer is asked to offer stock, often involving a capital commitment. Antithesis of in touch with. Ms. Right. Mark Feuerstein plays an honest, up-and-coming ad executive who has many women in his life, just not a future wife. No ground is broken with this one, but you won't break your remote trying to change the channel, either. ``Will & Grace'' Premieres Monday. Remember when it was shocking to have a television show with a gay lead character? Well, a year and a half later, a show about Will (a gay man) and his straight woman friend (Grace) doesn't cause many waves. ``Encore! Encore!''Premieres Tuesday. Nathan Lane plays a womanizing wom·an·ize v. woman·ized, woman·iz·ing, woman·iz·es v.intr. To pursue women lecherously. v.tr. To give female characteristics to; feminize. opera singer in a show that has been totally retooled since its initial pilot. Lane's character is a temperamental singer with a failing voice who must move in with his feisty mom at the family's Napa Valley winery. ``Jesse''Premieres Thursday. Christina Applegate (``Married ... With Children'') plays a single mother who works at her father's bar. The show gets a great time slot (between ``Friends'' and ``Frasier'') and the creative team of Bright, Kauffman and Crane. ``Trinity''Premieres Oct. 16. John Wells, one of the brains behind ``ER,'' is back with his second show. This is one of several series focusing on large Irish broods, this batch living in Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen. There is the priest, the junkie junkie Popular health A popular term for a person, usually an IV narcotic abusing addict, whose life is disorganized vis-á-vis family and societal structure, whose existence revolves around obtaining–often through theft, prostitution or other illicit , the union boss, the nurse, the stock broker and, of course, the cop in this slow-moving drama. ``Wind on Water'' Premieres Oct. 17. Bo Derek Bo Derek A slang term used to describe a perfect stock or investment. Notes: The term comes from the name of the actress (Bo Derek) in the 1979 movie "10," in which she portrayed the "perfect woman. and two studly studly - Impressive; powerful. Said of code and designs which exhibit both complexity and a virtuoso flair. Has connotations similar to hairy but is more positive in tone. Often in the emphatic "most studly" or as noun-form "studliness". "Smail 3.0's configuration parser is most studly." , extreme-sports-playing sons try to save the family's cattle ranch on the big island of Hawaii from a mean man played by Lee Horsley. Nice to look at, not as good to watch. UPN UPN User Principal Name (Microsoft Windows 2000) UPN United Paramount Network UPN Unión del Pueblo Navarro (Navarrese People Union) UPN Umgekehrte Polnische Notation ``DiResta'' Premieres Oct. 5. The comic true-life story of a New York transit cop starring John DiResta, the now-retired transit cop in question. ``Guys Like Us'' Premieres Oct. 5. A 6-year-old (played by the cuter than possible Maestro Harris) moves in with his brother and the brother's roommate, a clueless clue·less adj. Lacking understanding or knowledge. clueless Adjective Slang helpless or stupid Adj. 1. type played by Chris Hardwick. ``The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer'' Premieres Oct. 5. The real brains behind the Lincoln White House was African-American Desmond Pfeiffer (the P is not silent), and the show is about as awkward as the pronunciation. Lincoln is portrayed as a philandering lush, and Mary Todd Lincoln is horny horn·y adj. 1. Made of horn or a similar substance. 2. Tough and calloused, as of skin. a lot of the time. ``Mercy Point'' Premieres Oct. 6. Three words: ``ER'' in space. It's the 23rd century in a clinic at the far end of explored outer space. Aliens and humans share the hospital. ``Seven Days'' Premieres Oct. 7. Jonathan LaPaglia plays a CIA CIA: see Central Intelligence Agency. (1) (Confidentiality Integrity Authentication) The three important concerns with regards to information security. Encryption is used to provide confidentiality (privacy, secrecy). agent turned mental patient who is picked for a high-risk assignment in a time machine, giving him the power to change the present by altering the past in a slick-looking drama. ``Legacy'' Premieres Oct. 9. Another show about an Irish family, this one in post-Civil War Kentucky. The Logan family runs a horse farm in a well-done drama. This is a beautiful show to look at but could prove to be a tough sell. CAPTION(S): 5 Photos Photo: (1) ``Holding the Baby'' (2) ``Charmed'' (3) ``King of Queens'' (4) ``The Hughleys'' (5) ``Will & Grace'' |
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