THE HYPE A FUNNY THING HAPPENED AT THE L.A. FILM CRITICS' DINNER.

Laughs and laudations were the order of the night at the Los Angeles Film Critics Association's awards dinner Tuesday. Santa Monica's beachside Casa del Mar hotel hosted best-actress winner Sissy Spacek (``In the Bedroom''), best actor Denzel Washington (``Training Day''), supporting actress Kate Winslet (``Iris'') and French filmmaking legend Agnes Varda, who won the documentary award for ``The Gleaners and I.''

Although some long-windedness (these awards are presented by critics, after all) and ``thank you'' litanies inevitably occurred, intelligent appreciations and sublime humor dominated the event.

David Lynch provided the evening's high point. After receiving a standing ovation, the best-director winner thanked L.A. critics for creating a buzz about his surreal masterpiece ``Mulholland Drive.'' ``And it sounded like this,'' he added, then proceeded to play a recording of industrial noise into the microphone. Lynch concluded his acceptance speech with a story about a schizophrenic man who kept asking for a doctor when he really wanted an encyclopedia.

Like his movie, Lynch's speech did not make a lot of rational sense, yet it somehow seemed perfectly right.

- Bob Strauss

Keeping the milkman fresh

``I'm intent on quality, not quantity,'' says Theodore Bikel, who knows a little something about both. ``I think it's an excellent play, it speaks for itself. If you have a lousy play, twice is too many.''

Or, in Bikel's case, 1,600 is too few.

Bikel has played Tevye, the careworn milkman of ``Fiddler on the Roof,'' for more than 1,600 performances, easily outdistancing any actor who has ever taken on the role. And he's adding to the tally with another go at Tevye in a national tour that plays through Sunday at the Wilshire Theater.

Bikel first played the role in a version of ``Fiddler'' in Las Vegas in 1968. It was an intermissionless, 100-minute production and the company performed two shows per night for six months.

``In a sense, it was harder to do than the full play,'' says Bikel, who turns 78 in May. ``You know how Las Vegas is. They have to cut from everybody else's part, not the star. So there was much more on my shoulders.''

An Oscar nominee (for ``The Defiant Ones''), Bikel says he never tires of pulling Tevye's wagon - only perhaps of being asked endlessly whether Tevye might ever get stale.

``It's far easier to keep fresh my performance than to keep fresh my answer to that question,'' he says. ``Tevye is my own grandfather, for one thing. I'm so instantly connected to the familiarity of it, of my own background and my own roots.

``I've played murderers and kings, and I'm in no way remotely connected to those. In this case, it helps greatly that I am a descendent of these people.''

- Evan Henerson

``Fiddler on the Roof'' plays through Sunday at the Wilshire Theater, 8440 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. Call [phone] for ticket information.

DON'T FORGET THE $1 BILLS: Six cash-strapped steelworkers bring new meaning to the word ``recession'' in ``The Full Monty.''

The Broadway smash musical adapted from 1997's Oscar-nominated film opens April 24 at Los Angeles' downtown Ahmanson Theatre. Tickets go on sale Friday.

In the show, the regular Joe Six-packs find themselves going to great lengths to help out a needy friend. They are inspired by a local male strip show, in which the men strip down to a G-string, and figure they can make more cash by going ``the full monty.''

Tickets are $15 to $72.50 for previews and $25 to $75 for regular performances at the Music Center's Ahmanson box office. Order online (www.TaperAhmanson.com) or by calling [phone].

- Sandra Barrera

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5 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 4) Denzel Washington, top right, with his wife, Pauletta, arrives at Tuesday's dinner and later takes home a best-actor award. Other winners include Kate Winslet, top left, Sissy Spacek, center left (with co-star Nick Stahl) and director David Lynch, left, embraced by actress Laura Elena Harring.

Lucy Nicholson/Associated Press

(5) no caption (``Fiddler on the Roof'')