THE GIRLS' LIFE TO REAL LIFE WORST-CASE SCENARIOS.

Life ain't always easy, and that's a fact. So, we put our heads together and came up with a little survival guide to make life's worst-case scenarios just a little easier. Don't leave home without it!

Not to be totally freaky or overly paranoid, but expecting the unexpected never hurts. Now, we're not suggesting you dash out to Barnes & Noble to snag a copy of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival [Handbook.sup.*] or anything. That is, unless you're fixing to stave off a killer shark attack tomorrow. Unfortunately, we don't have the goods on escaping from a sinking Toyota, performing a lifesaving-on-the-spot tracheotomy or crossing the Congo with flippers made from Popsicle sticks.

But, we do hope to alleviate potential stress from some most-likely-to-freak-you-out scenarios. Crazy stuff with friends, guys and parents can get super sticky and can be pretty unpredictable. That's why we're here to help you stay one step ahead of the game. Nope, we can't lend a hand if your parachute doesn't open or tell you what to do if you trip over a 20-foot python, but we'll guide you through those not-so-comfortable moments you're bound to encounter (and we're not talking menstrual cramps here).

* The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht (Chronicle, 1999)

Everyday Scenario: Like every summer, you head off to camp for six weeks of fun with your friends. The weather's great. The guys are even better... Worst-Case Scenario: ...but, three days into camp, none of your buds will talk to you--and you have no idea why.

Scenario Solved: Unfortunately, fickle friends are a fact of life. Then again, maybe you should read that chapter in The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook about escaping a pool full of angry piranhas. Friendships can run hot and cold by the nano-second. And the cold shoulder stinks, especially when you've been friends for years--and you're away from home. Don't panic.

Even if you dread approaching their icy glares, you gotta do it. If you're totally in the dark about why you're getting the brush-off, ask the girls what's up. Did you inadvertenily hurt someone's feelings? Is there some other misunderstanding you're unaware of?

If they spill that it's over something silly--like they can't believe you said Britney lip syncs--then laugh it off and apologize. Tell them you're sorry your opinion sounded rude. No biggie. Hopefully, everyone can move on. If no one budges and you sense something more intense, you can't really apologize for something you're not sure you did. Could be you did absolutely nothing-your name just got dragged through the mud in some gossipy game. Get to the bottom of the mess, if you can, and clear your name.

If you have a sinking suspicion you might have mentioned to Sally how fine her BF looks, suck it up and apologize. Nicely pull Sally aside, and explain that you were just taking notice but have absolutely no interest.

If your attempts at reconciliation are ignored or they can't come up with any real reason for the diss, then it's time to rethink your "friendships." Resist the overwhelming urge to make a scene, scream nasty names or spread vicious rumors. Going with a gag order is much more dignified. If other girls ask what's going down, politely tell them you'd rather not talk about it, and go forth with making new campfire friends. Easier said than done, eh?

Surely, there are bunks full of other chicks at camp! Challenge the new girl in your cabin to a tennis match. Take arts and crafts instead of canoeing like you always do--maybe you'll meet other girls. Don't mope, and don't let your "friends" see you being miserable. Often girls in cliques enjoy seeing their torture treatments pay off. Don't give'em the satisfaction!

Everyday Scenario: You love your pals, you really do, but one of your friends has this annoying habit of TALKINGREALLYFASTANDLOUD. You're doing your dead-on imitation of her, making your friends keel over, hysterical with laughter...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...when your fast-talkin' girlfriend walks in. She witnesses the whole thing.

Scenario solved: The truth is, lots of us have mocked even our best-est friends at one time or another. It's inevitable that the more time you spend with someone, the more you'll learn about their quirky (read: sometimes annoying) habits. But that doesn't give you a license to bash them--especially before an audience.

Say your friends--the girls who are supposed to love you no matter what--were making fun of how you say "wash." You always stick an "r" between the "a" and the "s"--you can't help it. If your BFF was mocking you and sticking an "r" in the center of every other word, you'd be bummed, right? So, you have no choice....

Serve up a sincere apology--in front of your audience. Good friends will likely follow suit, and an honest group apology should ease the sting.

But, the blatant bust also warrants a second apology--in private. Let her know she has one get-out-of-jail-free card to get a giggle at your expense and then game over-no more teasing. Consider slipping her a "sorry" note. Remind her how much you care--a little groveling can't hurt. And the next time you want to get a laugh out of your crew, recite a line from the Chandler Bing Hall of Great Jokes and spare your friend's humiliation.

Everyday Scenario: You're hanging out with your boyfriend at your house, alone. You're watching Gladiator, and just as he leans in for a kiss...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...your dad walks in on you, your lips locked.

Scenario Solved: So you "forgot" about the no-boys-in-the-house-without-adult-supervision rule. And, you aren't exactly allowed to watch Gladiator--despite its historical significance.

But you just couldn't resist a little innocent smooching when you finally scored some alone time with your guy, could you? Busted! No doubt, your parents are peeved. You're definitely in for the dreaded, "We are so disappointed in you!" The more mature you are about taking the tongue-lashing and inevitable grounding, the more likely your folks will be to go (somewhat) easy on you. You know you were wrong, so tell them. Say that you made a mistake and you'll never do it again, blah, blah, blah. Don't waste their time concocting some stupid story--your bikes weren't stolen and you weren't waiting for his mom to take you to the library. Save it.

We can't guarantee you'll get to keep your iMac but, hopefully, your parents will see it as an isolated incident. Trust is the big issue here. If your 'rents see this as a calculated disregard for their rules, they'll be less likely to trust you in the future. So, up the trust factor. No sneaking TV after bedtime or setting up your poor little sister. Show Mom and Dad you are a trustworthy gal!

Oh, yeah--and then comes the totally icky reality that your dad actually saw your face (his little princess) smashed against some guy. How mortifying! After the boy gets booted out of the house, reassure Dad it was a totally innocent peck and that there was no monkey business going on. And does Dad know and trust the dude you're dating? If not, maybe you should have him over for some hang time with the family. We know it can be awkward, but once your Dad is convinced he's a nice guy, he'll rest a little easier--and maybe even let you go out with him again.

Everyday Scenario: You're babysitting the neighbor kids on Saturday night...

Worst-Case Scenario: ... and when the parents get home and pay you, it's two bucks less per hour than they said they'd fork out.

Scenario Solved: Handle this with the utmost tact. Since you're dealing with adults, you have to act like an adult. Don't accuse them of stiffing you. Casually say, "Oh, did we agree on $5 an hour? Because I thought we settled on $7 an hour." Most likely, they've just miscalculated or totally spaced-even adults can make minor math mess-ups. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they'll be embarrassed and quickly hand over your cash--as well as apologize profusely and thank you for bringing it to their attention.

If they insist you agreed on the lesser amount, we know it stinks--but there's really no use arguing. This is one battle you won't win, so don't waste your energy. But consider never babysitting for that family again. Or, next time they ask you to sit, discuss payment first and let them know you only work for $7 per hour. After all, it may not be worth losing the whole gig over a couple bones.

Everyday Scenario: You planned a day at Six Flags to check out the new awesome coaster, Killer Kolossus Vomitus, with your buds...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...but your mom says you have to take your little bro, the tyke--who doesn't even, come close to being ride regulation height.

Scenario Solved: Ah, the joys of being an older sister--a lifetime of free babysitting for Mom and Dad. Ask your mom if your brother can bring a buddy. It may seem like double the babysitting, but your bro and his friend will keep each other busy (and out of your halt). He'll have a partner for the kiddie rides and will be less likely to bug your friends. Hit your mom up for some extra dough for the day--you know, for some corn dogs to keep the little duo content.

As for checking out that great new coaster, stay on the sidelines with the little ones while your friends go on the ride. After they've had their fun or lost their French fries--get your BFF to watch the munchkins while you and another bud go on the ride of your life. Then tell your fab (watchful) friend the funnel cake is on you.

Everyday Scenario: You go to a chi-chi salon for a dramatic new look, and you tell the stylist you want your cut to look exactly like Liv Tyler's current chic shoulder-length look...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...except the stylist goes scissor happy and cuts your hair like Liv's old cut-her Peter Pan pixy 'do.

Scenario Solved: If you're itching for a totally new look, always take a picture of exactly what you want with you to the salon. The stylist will be glad you did--and so will you. But, oops! Too late. You feel a sudden light breeze on the back of your neck. Stop, take a deep breath, and tell yourself it's going to be OK. This isn't the worst thing that could happen to you, even though it feels like it is.

So, now what? You've gotta voice your disappointment to the hairdresser. Don't make a scene, but the hairdresser, owner or manager needs to know you're not a satisfied customer. Who knows--they may offer you free highlights? (If you feel you could trust them with the dye job.) They probably won't ask you to pay for the cut either. If they do, refuse payment and state your case--you specifically asked for Liv's current cut. You weren't so specific? Pay up, and remember that pic next time.

Now, back to feeling better about your new cut. Maybe super-short hair wasn't what you had in mind, but try to make the best of it. Find pictures of celebs like Rachael Leigh Cook, Winona Ryder and Hilary Swank, who look awesome in cropped 'dos, and copy those styles. There are lots of cute ways to sport short hair so you look like a princess. Tiny, shiny clips are still in, or go for a country look with a handkerchief tied over your hair. You can also check out a Wrap Star (www.wrap-star.com), which is a fancy, headache-free headband you wrap around your head and tie at the bottom. You'll be looking oh-so sassy. And don't forget--hair grows.

Everyday Scenario: It's Friday night and you don't have any plans, so you go with the fam to see Dr. Dolittle 2...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...when you spot your yearlong crush Blake, with all his buddies. Do you duck behind the concession stand, or brave a hello and hope your parents don't say anything too embarrassing?

Scenario Solved: News flash: Blake probably has parents, too. This is a "get over it" situation. It's possible you could have just as easily run into Blake with his folks. If you don't feel like introducing him to your parents, then don't. Tell the 'rents you just spotted a friend and that you'll be right back. Dash off to say "hi," chat for a quick sec and let him know you have to run. If you don't act all freaked about being seen with your parents, he won't either.

Still feeling a little uncool about the whole Friday-night-out-with-the-family thing? Remember, a night out with the 'rents always means free Taco Bell. Plus, the movie admission, popcorn and Junior Mints were on them. You've actually saved your babysitting money--and spotted your crush. All in all, not a terrible night.

Everyday Scenario: For your birthday, your BFF, who means well but has, um, different tastes than you do...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...buys you a gaudy shirt from the Bjork House of Rejects that you'd rather die than wear.

Scenario Solved: Muster up a sincere "thank you." After all, she took the time to look for something she honestly thought you'd dig, and she spent her own cash. Gift giving can be tough, so give her a break.

Next, find a way to take the focus off the shirt because you have to wear it in front of your friend--at least once. If possible, wear it under another shirt, with just the collar and cuffs showing. Or team it with a great jacket to draw attention away from the obnoxious blouse. Be careful not to let your true colors show by getting caught making fun of your BFF's questionable taste--if you do get busted, go back to the second scenario!

Everyday Scenario: The biggest bash of the summer is going to be so dope, but it's invite only...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...and yours seems to have gotten lost in the mail.

Scenario Solved: Don't panic and immediately think that whoever is having the party hates you, or that you're not as cool as you thought you were. If the party is being thrown by one of your really close buds, then you're OK pulling a, "Hey, Emily. I hear you're having a party." In which case, she'll probably say, "Didn't you get your invitation?" Problem solved.

If you're not so chummy with her but think you should have made the guest list, get a friend who's invited to pal up to the hostess and do a little digging (you'll owe your friend for this one). Have her find out if it's an oversight or what the deal is. Prepare yourself for the answer. Don't go into this one assuming your pal will come back with invite in hand. If it didn't cross her mind to invite you, or she didn't have enough invites or whatever the story, you'll have to just get on with your life.

Take this minor setback as a chance to hang with someone different. Give your quiet friend from soccer clinic a call, and ask her if she wants to check out that awesome new teen dance club. Do something you never do with your buds-- race go-carts or play miniature golf. Hey, we can't all get invited to everything, and just think--that's one less person you'll have to invite to your next soiree.

Everyday Scenario: You're hanging out in your backyard, and your crush walks by with his friends. He asks you to join him and the guys...

Worst-Case Scenario: ...to play hoops. And you and Rebecca Lobo have zip in common. You want to hang out with him, but you don't want him to have a lasting image of you tripping over a big orange ball.

Scenario Solved: Guys love sporty girls. He'll probably think you're the coolest chick if you hop the fence and head to the court with the boys. You can let them know up front that you're not so great, and a) give it your best shot on the blacktop, b) offer to hang by the sidelines and keep score, or c) challenge the guys to a game of Horse. You each take turns shooting the ball from a specific spot. Missed your shot? You get an H. Made the next shot? Great! You're still in the game. Miss the next one, and you get an O. Keep going until someone is a "horse." Horses are out of the game, and the others keep playing. You're not too bad of a shot, after all. Hey, you could tear them up.

Whether you jump into center court or remain a solo cheering squad, work this to your advantage. Tell him you need lessons to help with your dunk. Suddenly, your worst-case scenario has turned into a best-case close encounter. And don't dribble when you dribble.