THE DAILY NEWS WATCH-O-RAMA.Byline: David Kronke ``Designed to Sell'' (HGTV HGTV Home and Garden Television ; 8 tonight) Think: Yet another home-design/reality show, about remodeling trouble spots in homes to enhance their resale value. Don't think: Shannon Freeman wants to be the Simon Cowell of home repair - ``This room makes me very sad,'' she sighs, responding to a kitchen - but lacks the requisite killer wit. In a nutshell: With the drama very mild at best, it's no ``Trading Places,'' but those considering putting their homes on the market might pick up a tip or two. ``The Next Big Thing'' (Biography Channel; Monday-Wednesday at 8 p.m.) Think: Canadian comics try to storm our shores in a cable variation on ``Last Comic Standing Last Comic Standing is an American reality television talent show that premiered in 2003. The objective of the program is to select a comedian from a group, who will receive a development contract with the NBC television network and a special first to air on the cable-TV .'' Don't think: Not a good sign when the comics' intros don't include one even mildly amusing joke. In a nutshell: Structured more like a reality series than a stand-up stand·up or stand-up adj. 1. Standing erect; upright: a standup collar. 2. Taken, done, or used while standing: a standup supper; a standup bar. show. Or maybe the comics just aren't very funny. ``Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss'' (USA; Monday at 9 and 11 p.m.; Saturday at 5 p.m.) Think: Jamie-Lynn DiScala has played Meadow on ``The Sopranos'' and Belle in ``Beauty and the Beast'' on Broadway. Now, she torpedoes her career essaying the Hollywood Madame in a trashy biopic bi·o·pic n. A film or television biography, often with fictionalized episodes. biopic Noun Informal a film based on the life of a famous person [bio(graphical) + pic(ture)] . Don't think: Heidi observes here, ``The worst thing about being on trial is, you have to get up early.'' We can think of other things, not the least of which is you get crummy crum·my also crumb·y adj. crum·mi·er also crumb·i·er, crum·mi·est also crumb·i·est Slang 1. Miserable or wretched: a crummy situation in the family. 2. movies like this made about you. In a nutshell: Amateur Night up and down the creative spectrum. Cynically lurid, brain-dead and not even titillating tit·il·late v. tit·il·lat·ed, tit·il·lat·ing, tit·il·lates v.tr. 1. To stimulate by touching lightly; tickle. 2. To excite (another) pleasurably, superficially or erotically. . For a story about a high-priced hooker, this is back-alley cheap. ``Bus 174'' (Cinemax; Tuesday at 6 p.m.) Think: Riveting documentary about a random Brazilian bus hijacking that escalated into an over-hyped media event; nonetheless, it spoke volumes on social conditions. Don't think: Every time local stations dwell upon a car chase, they're hoping it will become something as sociologically resonant as this. But they never do. In a nutshell: This acclaimed film was released in theaters last year. It's the sort of thing Hollywood routinely transforms into bloated, histrionic histrionic /his·tri·on·ic/ (his?tre-on´ik) excessively dramatic or emotional, as in histrionic personality disorder; see under personality. pieces of junk. So if you didn't see it then and want to experience the pristine version, here's another chance; you're not likely to be sorry. ``Venom ER'' (Animal Planet; Tuesday at 8 p.m.; thereafter, Tuesday at 9 p.m.) Think: Loma Linda University Medical Center Loma Linda University Medical Center (LLUMC) is a teaching hospital of Loma Linda University School of Medicine in Loma Linda, California, United States. LLUMC is home to the Venom E.R, which specializes in snake bites. in San Bernardino County is home for this series about patients suffering from exotic snake, scorpion and spider bites. Don't think: A whole series about treating snake bites? I should dust off that pitch of mine about radical treatments for paper cuts. In a nutshell: Some grisly effects of bites are shown, but there's only so much drama one would expect to milk from this. After all, ``ER'' confronts myriad maladies every week. ``Rock Me Baby'' (UPN UPN User Principal Name (Microsoft Windows 2000) UPN United Paramount Network UPN Unión del Pueblo Navarro (Navarrese People Union) UPN Umgekehrte Polnische Notation Channel 13; Tuesday at 9 p.m.) Think: Relaunch of the struggling sitcom about an immature couple's (Dan Cortese, Bianca Kajlich) adventures in child-rearing. Don't think: UPN stands behind this and ``The Mullets'' while ABC ABC in full American Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. abandons ``Karen Sisco''? Network television is doomed. In a nutshell: Still not funny. ``Wild West Tech'' (History Channel; Tuesday at 10 p.m.) Think: How the inventions of the Old West - barbed wire, brands and other nasty bits of business - were developed. Don't think: Maybe this would be interesting if host Keith Carradine used the same sort of language he does on HBO's Western ``Deadwood Deadwood, city (1990 pop. 1,830), seat of Lawrence co., W S.Dak.; settled 1876 after discovery of gold. A Black Hills tourist center, it is also a trade hub for a lumbering, stock-raising, and mining region. .'' In a nutshell: Possibly educational - if you can get past the trite scripting when it tries to get clever. ``The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn'' (CBS (Cell Broadcast Service) See cell broadcast. Channel 2; Tuesday at 12:35 a.m.) Think: Fifth-anniversary special of CBS' post-Letterman talk show. Don't think: Good to see that what drunken college guys find funny hasn't evolved an iota in two decades. In a nutshell: There's a very compelling reason you never hear much about Kilborn, while the guy who replaced him on ``The Daily Show'' (Jon Stewart) has won a Peabody, an Emmy and been on recent covers of Newsweek and Entertainment Weekly. ``Whales in Crisis'' (KCET KCET Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo (Japan) KCET Kamaraj College of Engineering and Technology ; Wednesday at 8 p.m.) Think: ``National Geographic'' documentary examining endangered whales from around the world and the scientists trying to rescue them. Don't think: Scientists on the show describe interacting with whales as spiritual experiences; do accountants think of their calculators in the same way? In a nutshell: Offers beautiful images and some intriguing issues. ``Penn & Teller: Bullsh'' (Showtime; Thursday at 10 p.m.) Think: The hilarious magic-debunking magicians return for a second season of debunking de·bunk tr.v. de·bunked, de·bunk·ing, de·bunks To expose or ridicule the falseness, sham, or exaggerated claims of: debunk a supposed miracle drug. other belief systems. In the cross hairs this season: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is an international nonprofit organization that supports Animal Rights and has spawned a tremendous amount of conflict and controversy from its inception. , security scams in the climate of fear and 12-step programs. Don't think: Is there anything these guys do like? Hope not - the show's too much fun. In a nutshell: P&T muster up righteous anger discussing these scams, making for a provocative, impassioned and yet caustically funny show. P&T may not just be entertaining you, but doing a valuable public service. ``The Big House'' (ABC Channel 7; Friday at 8:30 p.m.) Think: A once-affluent young man (Kevin Hart) moves in with his noisy, obnoxious Philadelphia relatives. Don't think: Watching such blandly generic programming, you'll agree with the character in the premiere who observes, ``There's no God and life has no meaning.'' In a nutshell: Depressingly uninspired, just like every other sitcom on the ABC schedule. ``Danny Phantom'' (Nickelodeon; Saturday at 8:30 p.m.; thereafter, Fridays at 8:30 p.m.) Think: ``Fairly Oddparents'' creator Butch Hartman offers these adventures of Danny Fenton, a cartoon high-schooler transformed into a confused and semi-phantasmic superhero by his ghost-phobic parents. Don't think: Fenton the Phantom Slayer, minus any of Joss Whedon's winsome win·some adj. Charming, often in a childlike or naive way. [Middle English winsum, from Old English wynsum : from wynn, joy; see wen-1 subtlety. In a nutshell: Noisy and manic, just like Hartman's ``Oddparents,'' which also lacked much apparent wit until its goofy parameters were defined. Maybe this'll make sense eventually, too. CAPTION(S): photo Photo: (color) PENN & TELLER: BULLSH |
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