THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING DINNERWARE : THIEVERY LEADS CRUISE LINES TO DROP LOGOS.

Byline: Arline Bleecker Orlando Sentinel 

My friend, Emily, once quipped that the bath towels in her shipboard cabin were so fluffy that she could hardly stuff them into her suitcase.

Apparently, Emily isn't the only sticky-fingered cruise passenger. According to Pier-Giorgio Micallef, hotel manager aboard Carnival Cruise Line's Sensation, disappearing towels are so common that every Sunday morning, when personnel prepare staterooms for new passengers, ``steward captains just reflexively will put two more towels in each cabin.''

Carnival towels don't even have logos, at least not anymore. Logos long have been the hook that leads pilfering passengers to help themselves to shipboard ``souvenirs.'' Royal Caribbean Cruise Line's Sovereign of the Seas, for example, once had Villeroy & Boch teaware bearing the cruise line's logo. Those lovely little demitasse cups and saucers disappeared within two weeks of the ship's debut.

For obvious reasons, virtually every cruise line has ditched putting logos on items used on board. But being without logos doesn't make items any safer, and brand names seem to have a similar effect.

Stories such as this one are reported by almost every line: On a Cunard trans-Atlantic voyage, two elderly female passengers ordered all their meals from room service, served on clearly marked fine Rosenthal china. Guess what was missing after each meal? But Cunard didn't wish to embarrass the ladies and, instead, notified customs officials. At disembarkation, a tipped-off official examined the women's suitcases. On finding the full set of china, the official asked: ``And where did you buy these, madam?'' Cunard got its china back.

The most commonly swiped items are such things as ashtrays, forks and knives - objects easily slipped into a pocket or purse. But passengers also swipe items that hardly seem worth it. According to Micallef, even a melon sculpted into a chicken shape for the gala buffet has found its way into somebody's suitcase.

On Royal Caribbean's brand-new Splendour of the Seas, it wasn't long before someone walked off with a certain body part from the ship's replica of Michelangelo's famous statue, David. Any plans to replace it - with something, say, a little less tempting? ``Well, maybe with a fig leaf,'' said Royal Caribbean's Rich Steck.

Valuable items such as fine art and antiques on ships are secured or bolted down. But such precautions didn't help Celebrity Cruises' Century. The ship hadn't even completed its series of inaugural voyages before three of 12 mounted telescopes vanished from its observation lounge.

When Carnival's Fascination debuted, the line made much of that ship's Hollywood look-alike mannequins, strategically placed throughout the ship's public spaces. But cunning passengers made short work of them. On some mornings, ``Shirley Bassey would be bald or Elvis' wig gone. Every week, we'd end up having to buy something,'' said Carnival's Jennifer de la Cruz.

Some thefts seem the epitome of chutzpah. A passenger who has forgotten his own bow tie may be just as likely to appropriate the one from the John Wayne mannequin, Micallef said. One passenger even brazenly wore Wayne's hat as if it were his own.

But even when caught red-handed, passengers may be unrepentant. What do they say? ``Not a lot,'' said Micallef. ``Normally, they're not very sober.''

Carnival solved the problem by using a special process to fasten apparel onto the mannequins.

One cruise line has taken an entirely innovative approach. Among items pilfered on ships of Crystal Cruises were sets of dishes and silverware, silver salt and pepper shakers, caviar spoons, hair dryers and hangers (wooden and satin-padded), mohair blankets, wine-bottle openers and fruit knives. ``We haven't resorted to fruit knives on a chain yet,'' said Mimi Weisband of Crystal, but the line may be the first to spawn this solution: If you see something you like, don't steal it - buy it.

In something akin to turning petty crime into a profit center, items that Crystal passengers like most - and may have been inclined to purloin - are now on sale on Crystal ships.

In January in its shipboard boutiques, Crystal introduced some of the most popular table-top items that guests regularly inquire about, creating something of a Crystal ``home collection'' at prices ranging from $25 to $300. For example, Crystal's decorative dinnerware patterns change almost every evening and include dinnerware from Mikasa and Villeroy & Boch, Wedgewood bone china, and Reidl crystal glasses. A variety of these have been chosen for sale in the ships' boutiques.

Among the items newly offered for sale include the sculpted glass oil and vinegar carafe found in Prego, its alternative restaurant; the silver fruit knives that accompany fresh fruit in staterooms, and the porcelain ``show'' plates in Prego in four different Villeroy & Boch ``Jardins Francais'' designs.

Although some of Crystal's line of merchandise is sold only in the shipboard shops, the line plans to expand its retail operation. Don't expect mail-order catalogs just yet, however.

Some day, even if the ship shop doesn't sell the particular board item you've set your sights on - such as, say, the Brown Jordan Mission teak deck furniture on the Lido deck - the front desk will have a list of ship items so cruise personnel can provide passengers with the item's name and manufacturer.

According to Celia Moon, Crystal's vice president of retail, most of the shipboard items will be offered at a better price than shoreside, because Crystal can obtain them duty-free. Moreover, some items from European manufacturers usually are not even found in U.S. stores.

As for this new marketing concept forestalling light fingers, Moon added, ``We have to wait and see whether this will be an enticement or a deterrent for pilferage.''

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Drawing: No caption (Color--Man and woman leaving cruise ship with bags filled with pilfered items)

Jorge Irribarren/Daily News