THE BUCS STOP HERE? YEAH RIGHT.

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

SAN DIEGO - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are in the Super Bowl.

And pigs can fly, your 401(k) just doubled in value, Al Davis got a crewcut and Jennifer Connelly will not stop stalking me.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are in the Super Bowl.

And cheese cake is a health food, college is cheap, Keyshawn Johnson is so modest and there really is a cure for baldness.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are in the Super Bowl.

And there is hope for all mankind, even the Clippers.

Everything is now possible. You can lose that weight. Retire in Tahiti. Believe it when your teenager says they'll be home by 10 p.m.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are in the Super Bowl, the most staggering event in the history of sports, sans Phil Jackson crying.

This is just not any franchise, but the laughingstock of the NFL. An all-time loser. The Bucs began life 0-26. In 11 of those games, they were shut out.

When they finally won their final two games of their second season, both opposing coaches were fired. Guys named Hank Stram and Don Coryell.

They set new standards for sporting futility. They had a losing record in 18 of their first 21 seasons, including 14 in a row.

Warren Sapp was born and raised in Florida, but when drafted No. 1 by the Bucs in 1995 he was hardly excited.

``I told my brother as we walked out of the Madison Square Garden, `We're going to a graveyard,' '' Sapp said. ``Then when I got there, I thought it was a third-world country.''

At least he showed. Bo Jackson warned the Bucs he wouldn't sign if they took him No. 1 in 1986. They should have believed him.

The franchise began in 1976, selecting legendary coach John McKay of USC as its first coach. Things hardly were fair for an expansion team then. No bonus draft picks. No free agency. No real chance.

After another ignoble loss, McKay was asked what he thought of his team's execution.

``I'm in favor of it,'' McKay said.

McKay's son, Rich, is now the team's general manager, but he has strong memories from those early days, particularly that first season when they lost their final three exhibition games and all 14 during the season.

``The longest 17 years of my life,'' Rich McKay said. ``Monday was the best day of the week, and every day after that just got worse.

``At USC, it wasn't if we were going to win, it was by how much. Suddenly it was all reversed. I remember walking onto the field in Pittsburgh before one game, looking at the Steelers and saying, `Are you kidding me?' ''

The Bucs once had a kicker named Bill Capece. After he missed a field goal and an extra point in another loss, he was cut.

``Capece is kaput,'' John McKay announced.

There was the time guard Sean Farrell, their No. 1 pick in 1985, was playing Santa at a local mall and one of the tykes turned things around and asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

``To get the hell out of Tampa Bay,'' Farrell said.

Later, Ray Perkins was hired to coach the Bucs. Owner Huge Culverhouse dubbed him the team's Vince Lomardi. Perkins had four consecutive losing seasons and was fired.

While getting destroyed in another game, the team came out during halftime and offensive tackle Ron Heller yelled at his teammates not to quit. Perkins only heard him scream quit, punched Heller and broke a thumb. Heller had a helmet on at the time.

During those early losing years, there's no way the Bucs ever could have imagined they one day would be in San Diego, preparing to play in the Super Bowl.

``You couldn't even see (this) from where we were,'' Rich McKay said. ``It was Hawaii from here. It was very difficult.''

There was the time John McKay came into the locker room after another defeat and announced, ``The bus leaves in an hour. Those of you who need to shower, do so.''

Once McKay was conducting a team meeting. McKay told his team that losing starts with turnovers. Losing starts at the line. He noticed offensive lineman Howard Fest was asleep.

``Fest!'' McKay screamed. ``Where does losing start?''

Fest never missed a beat.

``Right here in Tampa Bay, coach.''

John McKay actually got the team to the NFC title game in the team's fourth season, a truly remarkable accomplishment, where they were defeated 9-0 by the Rams. McKay would lead the Bucs to the playoffs twice more, the last time in 1982. It would be 15 years before the Bucs made it back.

Rich McKay said things got so bad, the family gave up going out to dinner.

``We did drive-thru a lot,'' he said. ``My mother had to stop going to the grocery store. I went for her, undercover.''

Things began to turn around in 1996 when the team hired Tony Dungy as head coach. Dungy took the Bucs to the playoffs the past three seasons before Jon Gruden was hired in the offseason and led them to the most unlikely location in the team's dismal history.

And now it's as true as it is unbelievable.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are in the Super Bowl.