THE ANNUAL DUBIOUS DOZEN: XFL AND BEYOND FROM EBERSOL TO ESPN, MEDIA IN 2001 HIT BOTTOM.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH The Media

Maybe a remake of ``Brian's Song'' wasn't such a hot idea. Or HBO's decision to renew ``Arli$$'' for a seventh season. Or even the creation of The Tennis Channel for next year.

But there's plenty worse out there.

For us, a return to normalcy includes identifying achievements of highly dubious proportions that occurred in sports TV, radio, print and the Internet during 2001.

Sorry. Someone has to do it.

What's a dubious achievement? Hard to say. We know it when we see it, hear it, touch it and, more importantly, smell it. Some of these received a lot of national attention, while some slipped through the cracks. But our crack staff didn't miss it.

So here's to this year's roundup of dunces who continue to leave us dumbfounded:

Dick Ebersol 

--The achievement: NBC Sports' Big Decision Maker, who previously convinced the network that the NFL was not a profitable business, conned the network into becoming a partner with Vince McMahon in the creation, promotion and Saturday prime-time coverage of the ``not for pansies'' XFL. It gave the league immediate legitimacy before it even ran a play.

--The aftermath: Overhyped. Underachieving. Boring football. Sponsors dropped out. An extreme flop.

Worse than no one liking ``He Hate Me,'' no one cared after the first week. Especially the media.

``For 12 weeks, you had to dig around to try to find a score,'' complained Jesse Ventura, the Minnesota governor who doubled as a game analyst.

Aside from that embarrassment, NBC lost a reported $45 million. McMahon lost another $20 million. But they got a closet full of really neat black and red footballs.

Lee Hamilton

--The achievement: Decided to resign as radio play-by-play man for the Minnesota Vikings on Aug. 15 - after one exhibition game. He had come under fire in Twin Cities newspapers for racially insensitive remarks he made during his 15 years as a talk-show host at San Diego's XTRA, which sparked an investigation by the local NAACP.

--The aftermath: ``People who know the real Lee Hamilton know the real me,'' said Hamilton (not his real name).

``Stupid, yes. Racist, no,'' said Jim Rome, a former XTRA colleague.

And Hamilton continues to draw a paycheck.

Time-Warner Cable

--The achievement: Every other cable system in Southern California agreed to pick up a surcharge to continue showing the Dodgers and Angels games for the second half of the season on Fox Sports Net. TWC decided to take a stand against rising programming costs - an estimated 12-cent hike from $2.64 to $2.76 per subscriber - so more than 350,000 customers were cut off from the games.

--The aftermath: Viewers complained the cable company decided on their behalf to discontinue a service they wanted, so many switched to DirecTV. On Sept. 24, the two sides reached some sort of resolution to allow the final two weeks of games. But this problem isn't over. Nothing has been agreed upon that will prevent this from happening again in 2002.

``Matt the Stall Guy''

--The achievement: In an ad campaign targeting young male viewers for its regional Major League Baseball affiliates, Fox Sports Net produced this series featuring a guy sitting on a toilet and annoying co-workers in the next stall by incessantly talking to them about baseball.

--The aftermath: The Dodgers - owned by News Corp., which owns Fox Sports Net - were one of seven teams that flushed the ads.

Keith Olbermann

--The achievement: Continues to be the poster boy for ``Doesn't Play Well With Others'' in sports journalism. His latest employment implosion occurred in early April, when the anchor of his own ``Evening News'' on Fox Sports Net and the host of Fox's Major League Baseball pregame show was given the golden handshake. He had half a year left on his contract, a three-year, $8 million agreement he signed in 1999.

--The aftermath: ``Despite his skills, he seems fated to be hired, then forced to be the square peg that TV executives try to fit into a round hole,'' said Olbermann's agent, Jean Sage, at the time of his firing. The ultra-intelligent commentator, who also has been divorced from ESPN and MSNBC, popped up as a host on CNN in the last few months. He says he expects to have a new semi-permanent employer by the first of the year.

Dick Ebersol (again)

--The achievement: After standing firm with his belief to tape-delay the 2000 Summer Olympics from Australia, he offered feeble protest when it was announced in July that the NBC West Coast affiliates agreed to not carry the upcoming 2002 Winter Olympics live from Salt Lake City.

Instead, those of us in these parts will get it delayed starting at 8 p.m.

``A domestic Olympics cries out to be televised live across the entire country as previous U.S. Games have been,'' Ebersol said. ``Delaying our prime-time coverage from Salt Lake is a mistake.''

--The aftermath: The public deception continues.

In November, NBC revealed plans of an even more pro-American coverage of the Games in the wake of the Sept. 11 tragedy.

``This will be an opportunity for everyone in the country to come together, a shared kind of experience rooting for the home team,'' NBC president Randy Falco said.

Just as long as you don't mind cheering three hours after everyone else.

Fox's World Series coverage

--The achievement: During Fox's coverage of Game 7 of the World Series, David Hill, the head of Fox Sports, heard CBS was going to show score updates during its coverage of the Emmy Awards.

``Don't think they're going to break in and let you know who just won for best supporting actress,'' joked Emmy host Ellen DeGeneres during the CBS broadcast, which was head-to-head with the game on the East Coast.

So Hill ordered his graphics people to do just that, giving periodic award updates at the bottom of the screen during the Diamondbacks-Yankees contest. Those of us on the West learned of the winners before CBS' delayed broadcast.

--The aftermath: More people watched the game (39.1 million viewers) than the twice-postponed Emmys (17.1 million). Fox, by the way, next has the Emmy telecast in September 2003. CBS has not announced counterprogramming yet.

Fox's World Series (again)

--The achievement: Its use of virtual advertisements on the backstop screen was so obnoxious, it almost eliminated the batter, catcher and umpire from the screen during center-field camera shots.

--The aftermath: No one's watching ``The Tick.''

Tom Arnold

--The achievement: The loudest member of ``The Best Damn Sports Show Period,'' which runs two hours, proposed marriage on the show to his girlfriend Shelby in August. She accepted.

--The aftermath: The former husband of Roseanne again is treading on thin ice. The biggest sports-related marriage proposal involved NBC's Ahmad Rashad, who proposed to Phylicia Ayers-Allen during a Thanksgiving NFL game in 1985. They filed for divorce in February. She cited ``abandonment.''

Star magazine

--The achievement: The titillating tabloid's cover story May 15: ``Shaq: My affair with Cindy Crawford.'' After Shaquille O'Neal made a joke with L.A. radio host Big Boy about having affairs with Crawford, tennis star Venus Williams and singer Aaliyah, the tab report quoted sources revealing a ``weekend sex romp when both superstars were single,'' during his days with the Orlando Magic.

--The aftermath: ``It's an absolute lie,'' Crawford's public-relations people exclaimed. ``I'm offended - I don't even know him,' Williams said. ``I'm sorry, I was just joking,'' Shaq admitted on ``Entertainment Tonight.''

Dick Ebersol (one more time)

--The achievement: NBC aired the final of the women's French Open in June between Jennifer Capriati and Kim Clijsters on tape delay but never told the audience.

--The aftermath: ``That's a mistake for which I apologize,'' Ebersol said in The New York Times. ``But if you say it loud and clear at the start, that's enough. We feel more people will watch the event in the afternoon.''

Even though NBC aired live the men's and women's finals from Wimbledon early in the morning in July.

ESPN

--The achievement: Staged the ninth annual ESPY Awards - it calls the show ``an industry-wide celebration of achievement in sports'' - on Feb. 12 in Las Vegas. Then carried it live on its network.

--The aftermath: Maybe one doesn't have to do with the other. But after that, the network had to deal with backlash over coaxing three football conferences to move games on Tuesday and Friday nights; trying to legitimize a brawl on ``Up Close'' between Hasim Rahman and Lennox Lewis; having to pay a $30,000 fine for violating state ethics laws from a party it threw during the 2000 Republican National Convention; holding a week of ``Up Close'' shows in May with Dick Vitale, Stuart Scott, Mike Tirico, Dan Patrick and Chris Berman as the guests; putting on something called the Action Sports and Music Awards in April; expanding its coverage of the National Spelling Bee; launching a new series of ``This is SportsCenter'' house ads and having its Web site sued by Evel Knievel for portraying him in a photograph as a pimp.

But ``The 2-Minute Drill'' was fun to watch.

CAPTION(S):

5 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 4 -- color) NBC Sports president Dick Ebersol (top left) was plenty busy the past year. Unfortunately, way too much of his time was spent on the XFL (above), which lost the network millions before it was scrapped. Over at Fox Sports, Tom Arnold proposed marriage on the air and anchor Keith Olbermann found yet another place where he can't work.

(5) Even though it was only the Star, it seemed Cindy Crawford and Venus Willliams took seriously Shaquille O'Neal's claims on a local radio that he had love affairs with both. Shaq later apologized.

Photos by Associated Press