THE $100 CHRISTMAS.

Byline: Lewis Taylor The Register-Guard

There's a movement under way right now to encourage families to spend less on Christmas gifts. It's called Hundred Dollar Holidays, and we think it's the silliest idea since flocked trees.

It all started several years ago, when members of the Vermont and northern New York conferences of the Methodist Church got together for their annual meeting and apparently decided to brainstorm some ideas on how to make miserable New England winters even more dark and depressing.

Well, let's just say they succeeded, and now the idea has spread to other parts of the country like some sort of toenail fungus. But we're not buying it. We're buying iPods and TiVos and digital cameras and hardcover books and pearl necklaces and enough little icicle lights to make our house one of four man-made objects you can see with the naked eye from the surface of the moon.

A hundred bucks won't even cover our EWEB bill once we get done lighting the place. And if you've got a problem with us adding a little joy to the neighborhood, you can go back into your environmentally sensitive cave with your homemade preserves and your living Christmas tree while the rest of us have a real holiday.

In addition to the obvious economic impact of turning one of the busiest times of the year into some sort of buy-nothing month, we think the idea of a $100 Christmas just isn't all that much fun. Before you accuse us of being mindless consumers too caught up in the acquisition of material goods to recognize the meaning of the holidays, we'd like to say to you that because we spent more, doesn't make us ignorant of what it means to spend time with friends and family. The only difference between us and you is that you're a cheapskate who insists on celebrating Christmas like some Depression-era dustbowl farmer.

Spending less may give you a smug sense of self-satisfaction, but it just makes the rest of us feel sorry for you, and especially for your 9-year-old daughter, who we're sure will be all smiles when she pulls a chicken sausage out of her stocking. Yeah, we know you made it yourself, and we're sure that birch walking stick you spent the last seven months whittling also will make a fine gift. Oh, and offering to stack firewood for your wife was so much better than a pair of diamond earrings from Tiffany's.

Holiday misers like you enjoy pointing out how lame those store-bought gifts can be, but you rarely mention the handmade junk you're exchanging with your family. At least when we get a cordless nose-hair trimmer or an electric tie rack, we can ask for a gift receipt, which is more than you can say for that dream catcher made out of yarn and twigs that showed up under your tree.

We're not saying you need to spend a million dollars or even $1,000, but if you're going to spend only $100, you might as well spend nothing, because that's what a hundred bucks will get you these days.

Instead of bailing on the holidays, why not just choose your presents more wisely? If you're really that threatened by the thought of walking into a shopping mall, go to a local bookstore or to a family-owned business. Or better yet, buy something from a local artist.

You'll be keeping your money in the community, and your gift will be an object of beauty instead of a painted soup can that looks vaguely like a pencil holder.