THAI HISTORY OVERCOOKED IN 'LEGEND OF SURIYOTHAI'.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

A BIG HIT in Thailand, where it was directed with lavish resources by an actual prince, ``The Legend of Suriyothai'' plays more like a historical pageant than an engaging movie.

All of the battle elephants, bare-chested warriors and bare-breasted concubines this eminently royal production could muster can't make up for the poor writing and uninspired filmmaking that turn the whole enterprise into a tedious history lesson.

Which is not to say that ``Suriyothai'' lacks event. On the contrary; even for a movie that clocks in at nearly 2 1/2 hours (which was edited down, often awkwardly, from a longer version at ``presenter'' Francis Ford Coppola's Napa Valley place), the film flashes a dizzying array of invasions, rebellions, successions, usurpings, assassinations, seductions, betrayals, epidemics, intrigues, romances and significant ceremonies at us. But it all just leads to a classic example of the limits of plot-driven narrative. These dramatic things keep happening, but the characters involved in them are so thinly drawn and woodenly acted that maintaining interest is more of a chore than thrilling.

To bypass most of the standard-issue subplots, what's going on here is basically the struggle for control of the loosely federated Siamese provinces in the first half of the 16th century. The dominant kingdom, Ayuthaya, goes through a number of rulers who are variously poisoned, smallpoxed, coup d'etat'd or decapitated out of power. Through it all, the ruler of neighboring Burma and a bunch of shady Portuguese musketeers constantly try to take over whatever they can.

The title heroine, played with steely, um, steeliness by M.L. Piyapas Bhirombhakdi, gives up her princessy passion for military commander Lord Piren (Chatchai Plengpanich) to do her duty and wed the good King Tien (Sarunyoo Wongkrchang), who despite his title always seems to be No. 2 ruler to the ever-changing regimes at the main palace. Anyway, through long digressions focusing on other royal families and scheming mistresses, Suriyothai devotedly works with the two men in her life to save the kingdom from despots and Burmese, finally going into battle herself for the good of the people.

The movie seems to impart a good deal of information about Thai history. Some of it, like the lesbian assassin squad one power-mad consort employs, seems a wee bit overcooked, but at least these bad girls are kind of distinctive, something that can't be said about most of the cast of thousands.

Who, sad to say, are not generally deployed as well as casts of thousands are supposed to be. Director Chatri Chalerm Yukol is no action stylist; neither the martial artistry nor the compositional sweep of his large battle scenes impart much in the way of choreographed intensity or awesome violence. And a lot of the time, it's hard to tell which side is fighting which, let alone what for.

Still, scale alone does make for some mighty impressive imagery in ``The Legend of Suriyothai.'' If you like your history lessons big and blundering, you just might make it to the end.

Bob Strauss, [phone]

bob.strauss(at)dailynews.com

THE LEGEND OF SURIYOTHAI - Two stars

(R: violence, nudity, children in jeopardy, language)

Starring: M.L. Piyapas Bhirombhakdi, Sarunyoo Wongkrchang, Pongpat Wachirabunjong, Chatchai Plengpanich, Johnny Anfone, Mai Charoenpura.

Director: Chatri Chalerm Yukol.

Running time: 2 hr. 22 min.

Playing: Laemmle Town Center 5, Encino; Laemmle Playhouse 7, Pasadena; ArcLight, Hollywood; The Grove, Farmers Market; Laemmle Monica, Santa Monica; Edwards University 6, Irvine.

In a nutshell: Expensive, expansive Thai historical epic suffers from standard epic-itis: expository dialogue, mediocre acting, plotting that reaches soap opera quality at best.