TEEN HORROR SEQUEL `STILL' DESERVES THE HOOK.Byline: Glenn Whipp Daily News Film Critic Gus Van Sant's upcoming shot-by-shot remake of ``Psycho'' has produced a lot of hand-wringing and carping carp·ing adj. Naggingly critical or complaining. carp  ing·ly adv.Noun 1. from people who consider the endeavor a pointless sacrilege Sacrilege Sadness (See MELANCHOLY.) abomination of desolation epithet describing pagan idol in Jerusalem Temple. [O.T.: Daniel 9, 11, 12; N.T. . Why update a movie that needs no updating? Haven't we seen it all before? What does this have to do with ``I Still Know What You Did Last Summer''? Well, as I was watching this godawful clunker clunk·er n. Informal 1. A decrepit machine, especially an old car; a rattletrap. 2. A failure; a flop. , I kept thinking about Van Sant's ``Psycho'' and how I would rather watch a carbon copy of a great movie made 38 years ago than sit through another tepid horror knockoff knock·off n. Informal An unauthorized copy or imitation, as of designer clothing: "the place to go for quality knockoffs" Women's Wear Daily. Noun 1. like this dud. ``I Still Know ...'' not only proves the law of diminishing returns law of diminishing returns n. The tendency for a continuing application of effort or skill toward a particular project or goal to decline in effectiveness after a certain level of result has been achieved. Noun 1. that applies to most sequels, it makes a strong case for the death of the new wave of teen horror films - or at least the ones that don't involve Kevin Williamson
Williamson, of course, wrote ``Scream,'' ``Scream 2'' and the original ``I Know What You Did Last Summer.'' Wisely, he has moved on to other things (``Dawson's Creek Dawson's Creek is an American primetime television drama which aired from January 20, 1998, to May 14, 2003, on The WB Television Network. The lead production company was Sony Pictures Television. ,'' the upcoming ``The Faculty'') leaving this would-be franchise in the hands of director Danny Cannon (``Judge Dredd'') and writer Trey Callaway. Safe to say, based on their ineptitude Ineptitude See also Awkwardness. Brown, Charlie meek hero unable to kick a football, fly a kite, or win a baseball game. [Comics: “Peanuts” in Horn, 543] Capt. Queeg incompetent commander of the minesweeper Caine. , there won't be ``I Wish I Could Forget What You Did Last Summer.'' And for that, I guess, we owe them our thanks. What can you say about a horror movie that contains a paucity of excitement and thrills? Plenty apparently, if you're an audience member. When I saw the movie, many in the theater took to yelling at the screen during especially implausible sequences or laughing hysterically when a serious response was warranted. When the movie ended, a few simply booed as they bolted from their seats. In ``I Still Know ...,'' Jennifer Love Hewitt returns as the young woman haunted by the killer who looks like the Gorton fisherman. Even when she and her fellow well-scrubbed castmates (Brandy Norwood, Freddie Prinze This article has multiple issues: * Its neutrality is disputed. * It does not cite any references or sources. Please help improve this article by citing reliable sources. Jr., Mekhi Phifer and Matthew Settle) go on a vacation to the Bahamas, the man with the rain slicker and bloody hook follows, carving up a few locals before setting his sights on the teen-agers. The first film had a modicum mod·i·cum n. pl. mod·i·cums or mod·i·ca A small, moderate, or token amount: "England still expects a modicum of eccentricity in its artists" Ian Jack. of wit and a fair share of thrills, but the sequel is completely devoid of both qualities, not to mention tension and suspense. Cannon's static staging proves deadly, as does the script's boring and predictable plot points. You've seen it all before, and you've certainly seen it all done with more passion and professionalism. Hewitt gamely gives the stupidity her best shot, but mostly she just bounces around in low-cut ensembles designed to accentuate the obvious. She should take a cue from Jamie Lee Curtis' career and flee from the horror genre or at least show better judgment in picking scripts. Otherwise, her film career will be as dead as the teen-agers in this bloody awful movie. THE FACTS The film: ``I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'' (R; intense terror, violence and gore, strong language and some drug use). The stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brandy Norwood, Freddie Prinze Jr., Mekhi Phifer. Behind the scenes: Directed by Danny Cannon. Screenplay by Trey Callaway. Released by Sony Pictures. Running time: One hour, 36 minutes. Playing: Citywide. Our rating: One star. CAPTION(S): Photo Photo: ``I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'' keeps Jennifer Love Hewitt, left, and adds Brandy, but the edge is missing from the original. |
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