Subway Tutors for Hillary.Hillary Clinton's New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of to-do list: * Find a secure four-bedroom apartment with two and a half baths, parking, a fireplace, and a view of Central Park for around $1,500. Maybe on the East Side near Bloomies. FedEx Chelsea a key, but not him. * Get sixteen courtside seats for the Knicks. Find out who they play and what the deal is. Hint: Get Mandy to debrief de·brief tr.v. de·briefed, de·brief·ing, de·briefs 1. To question to obtain knowledge or intelligence gathered especially on a military mission. 2. Spike Lee. What else is going on? Football, or that thing on ice with sticks? * Find someone we can trust who can decipher what the hell Sharpton is talking about. See about fast-tracking him a temporary ambassadorship to some small nation far, far away. * Double-check to make sure security detail includes no off-duty New York City New York City: see New York, city. New York City City (pop., 2000: 8,008,278), southeastern New York, at the mouth of the Hudson River. The largest city in the U.S. cops. Call our buddies at the Arkansas Highway Patrol. * Need two subway tutors, and a couple of off-island translators. * Opposition research. Where's Rudy's soft spot? Besides the top of his head, that is. * Get Woody Allen to do a fundraiser, but keep him the hell away from Chelsea. * The five boroughs are Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Richmond. What the hell is Richmond? Throw me a bone, people. I guess since the Knicks made it to the NBA finals on the shoulders of Latrell Sprewell, and that means coach Jeff Van Gundy Jeff Van Gundy (born January 19, 1962 in Hemet, California) is an American basketball head coach, most recently with the National Basketball Association's Houston Rockets. Van Gundy attended Nazareth College (1985). keeps his job, you could say Sprewell saved his coach's neck. Recently on Air Force One, William Jefferson Clinton idly mentioned to the press corps assembled nearby, "If I could run again, I would." Well, he can't. It's not that we don't want him to. No, no. Would that he could run again and again and again until he's as old and wrinkled as a sarcophagus sarcophagus (särkŏf`əgəs) [Gr.,=flesh-eater], name given by the Greeks to a special marble found in Asia Minor, near the territory of ancient Troy, and used in caskets. , or looks like Bob Dole, whichever comes first. It's that goshdarned Twenty-Second Amendment preventing it. But lovable old Brillo Head will only be fifty-five years old when he retires. And there are plenty of ways he could cash in after eight years of what some marketers consider a high-profile position: * A series of guest appearances on Veronica's Closet. * Check out Playboy's party school issue and gang apply to be president of every institution in the top ten. * Write a book revealing all the stuff he thought was right was wrong, and all the stuff we thought was wrong was. * Enroll in a Pavlovian training course to learn how to curtsy every time he hears himself referred to as "the Senator's husband." * As a fallback position, have his successor appoint him Ambassador to Sweden. Or have his good friend, the president of show business Steven Spielberg, grease the skids to have him take over as costume designer on Baywatch. New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani refused a permit for Talk magazine's big party because they were going to honor cover girl Hillary Clinton. The New York Post The New York Post is the 13th-oldest newspaper published in the United States and the oldest to have been published continually as a daily.[3] Since 1976, it has been owned by Australian-born billionaire Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation and is one of the 10 headline said it all: Party Pooper. We're destined des·tine tr.v. des·tined, des·tin·ing, des·tines 1. To determine beforehand; preordain: a foolish scheme destined to fail; a film destined to become a classic. 2. to hear about this artificial altercation for the next sixteen months, but I beg you to forgive me for getting the jump on the respectable media rabble by sugaring the gas tank of the bandwagon before it leaves Union Station. Of course, I am referring to the fight between "compassionate conservatism" being flakked by George W., and the "pragmatic idealism" of Prince Albert. Each clings to his pale attempt at a colorizing lifeline theme. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't both of these cute, poll-tested soundbite maxims more chock-full of internal logic glitches than a sunblock sunblock Public health An opaque substance, usually formulated from zinc or titanium oxides, designed to completely prevent solar radiation from reaching the skin. See SPF rating. Cf Sunscreen. sponsorship of the Carslbad Caverns by Pokey the Petrified pet·ri·fy v. pet·ri·fied, pet·ri·fy·ing, pet·ri·fies v.tr. 1. To convert (wood or other organic matter) into a stony replica by petrifaction. 2. Mule? Our next Presidential election promises to feature these electoral Mobius machinations. The oxymoron daily double. Like me, you must be wondering what other two-word, self-canceling campaign keynotes are available for the marginal flotsam A name for the goods that float upon the sea when cast overboard for the safety of the ship or when a ship is sunk. Distinguished from jetsam (goods deliberately thrown over to lighten ship) and ligan (goods cast into the sea attached to a buoy). candidates to scrounge scrounge v. scrounged, scroung·ing, scroung·es Slang v.tr. 1. To obtain (something) by begging or borrowing with no intention of reparation: for. I'm glad you asked. Here's Will Durst's 2000 election strategies for the guys and gals who have a better chance of catching a cab in the rain at 5:00 P.M. on Times Square dressed as a homeless person with running sores than of raising any significant money, but won't quit until they've dragged their personal national recognition factor kicking and screaming over the indistinct in·dis·tinct adj. 1. Not clearly or sharply delineated: an indistinct pattern; indistinct shapes in the gloom. 2. Faint; dim: indistinct stars. 3. Vice Presidential consideration status line. No need to thank me, I'm here to help: Rational bureaucrat. Libertarian enforcer. Benevolent sniper. Hippie hawk. Responsive legislator. Principled attorney. Egoless comedian ... Will Durst may have told you more than you need to know. Again. |
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