Stteddy Mobbin': Girl Land Barge Day Tour.

LAND WHAT?

Land Barge. What that? OK, I'll tell you about the Land Barge. It's not a long story, but it's a fun story. The mission: Hit the road for a day with some of the Girl and Choclate crew in a giant RV and barge the land, barge the spots, and barge. The dudes were to do three "in-stores"-that's industry talk for autograph signing-and then get skatey at the fourth one. We were mobbin' deep (about 17 strong) through what SoCal heads call the Inland Empire, but what we city slickers call some hot-ass desert cuts. Each one of the in-stores were identical, but it's the last one I want to tell you about. Check it: There were about 500 kids in the parking lot with signs, shirts, posters, and decks; taking photos, rocking the barge...It was great, these guys are fuckin' rock stars.

Someone asked if I was carrying the usual skate paraphernalia that's tossed out at these events. I was out of stickers but I did have food stamps, so I tossed 'em, finding that the stamps were more popular than the skate products. I even autographed a few of them. I wrote, "Stay in school or you'll be using these!" feeling like the Old Dirty Bastard on one of his good days. "Yeah, it's all about the childrens."

Anyway, even the Mom Dukes got in the mix; the BMPs, short for the "Burly Mom Posse." When their kids didn't get shirts, stickers, boards, or food stamps signed, watch out. That's when the BMP got crazy--fighting spiting--straight knocking fools out. I think it was Lee Smith or Mike York who tossed out a shirt only to have one lady grab it from this kid; I'll call him Lil' Half Dead. He was small-probably a little bit bigger than my left nut, so Lil' Half Dead started yelling until his mom came stomping through the crowd, shoving people out of the way and demanding satisfaction. Nick Tershay tossed her a book of food stamps and told her to step. I guess that was the last straw for this burly mom, 'cause the next thing I remember seeing was a tornado of fists (something like the Tasmanian Devil) advancing towards Nick. It got real messy after that, so everybody jumped into the Land Barge, with Sam and Lee pulling Nick inside. He was holding his eye, kicking his feet towards the door, screaming "Lemme go! I'll kill that bitch!" as we sped away into the night with 100 crack raider raiders chasing us. Oh yeah, the "TT" in the title is no type-o. Peace.