Springtime for hurting hearts.

Have you ever had anyone "mess up" your life? Has someone done something that affects your very existence and changes your status quo uninvited? I've experienced such a situation twice. Yes, I survived, but not without some resentment on my part.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that when you're hurting it's as natural to feel bitterness and resentment as it is to bleed from a cut. Fortunately, our Great Physician created us so that most physical bleeding--under normal circumstances--is stanched naturally. Stopping a flow of resentment doesn't happen so automatically.

Uncontrolled bleeding can be life-threatening. Untreated resentment is dangerous to our emotional and spiritual health.

Would you like a prescription that heals resentment? Here it is: the gift of unconditional forgiveness. I use the word gift because forgiveness is something that only God imparts. Jesus spoke many times about how important it is to forgive those who've wronged us. In fact, He revealed that unless we forgive others we ourselves will not be forgiven (Matthew 6:15).

"I can understand forgiving a person who's sorry for what they've done," we say to ourselves, "but what if they're not sorry? Do I still have to forgive?" Yes. Why? Because unless we forgive others we can't get on with our lives.

Have you ever heard the lament "I don't know how I can ever forgive that person for what he or she did to me"? Then, after a little tactful prying, we discover that the alleged wrong occurred 10 or even 20 years ago! Imagine carrying such a heavy load of resentment for such a long time!

A young person confessed to me that she knew she should forgive her mother for some offense, but she didn't want to. "Why?" I asked.

"If I do, she'll think she's right," my friend explained, "and, believe me, she's wrong!"

That unfortunate individual was not free to forgive, forget, and mend her broken relationship. She harbored bitterness against her mother. Holding resentment in the heart is like taking poison and hoping that the other person dies.

Ill will exists on a broad spectrum. It doesn't stay targeted on the one who has offended us. It can create heartbreaking collateral damage.

A grandmother whose daughter had been strangled by the former son-in-law was so filled with resentment that she confided that she was beginning to hate her grandson--a boy she'd undertaken to raise. In an effort to help her resolve her resentment, I asked her if she ever prayed for her former son-in-law. "I've given up praying," she admitted. She feared that if she prayed for the murderer, it would mean that she approved of what he'd done. I reminded her of the words of Jesus when He looked down on the angry mob that had just moments before nailed Him to a Roman cross. "Father, forgive them," He whispered (Luke 23:34). Christ understood that God Himself would see that justice was served in the end. He left vengeance in the hand of the most powerful force in the universe.

Each year a friend of mine spends several weeks at a better-living center. I was particularly interested in what he revealed was part of the curriculum. Along with eating wholesome food, learning to use water inside and outside the body, walking miles in the fresh air, and getting adequate rest, participants were instructed to consider if there might be bitterness and resentment in their lives. If there was, they were taught what to do about it. One of the remedies was to write letters and make phone calls to those against whom they harbored strong feelings.

The obvious benefit of pure air, good nutrition, exercise, water, and adequate rest was to help to keep the body in tip-top shape and encourage the immune system to fight off disease. But the men and women who operated the center understood that resentment could effectively short-circuit these benefits, bringing not only emotional and spiritual consequences, but physical after-effects as well.

One day a group of friends brought a man who had been sick for many years to Jesus. Surprisingly, Christ didn't counsel him on diet and exercise. He didn't outline a 12-step program guaranteed to help him reclaim his health. He simply smiled and said, "Son, ... your sins are forgiven you" (Matthew 9:2, NKJV) *. And immediately the man was healed.

Now that spring has come and summer is waiting just ahead, why not take a cue from nature and begin to regenerate not only your physical health, but your emotional and spiritual powers as well? If your heart is heavy with resentment, ask your Great Physician for the gift of forgiveness. Then, with your hand in His, begin to live your life anew.

* Texts credited to NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright [c] 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Richard O'Ffill is enjoying springtime in Longwood, Florida.