Sports Movies ...

Although we've been a movie buff since our exposure to such great art as "Our Gang" comedies and Tom Mix on a black horse named Tony, we have always wondered why Hollywood has been in a 100-year slump when it comes to sports movies.

The lack of quality has been startling. And if we had any doubts about it, they were totally dispelled by Sports Illustrated's recent publication of "The 50 Greatest Sports Movies of All Time."

Okay, so it is just SI's opinion. But SI's opinions are very good on such esoteric subjects as art and Dennis Rodman.

Our only quarrel with "The 50 Greatest Sports Movies of All Time" is that 50 is much too tin-pandemic. Once you go beyond 10 or 15, you have to start inserting tripe such as "The Bad News Bears," "Pride of the Yankees," and "Million Dollar Legs."

And how could anyone call "Bull Durham" the best sports picture of all time?

It's pretty good. But "best of all time"? Ludicrous.

Other over-rated "bests" are "Hoosiers," "Slap Shot," and "When We Were Kings." Why do so many people appear to like "Hoosiers"? It's supposed to be based on the greatest upset in the history of the Indiana State High School basketball tournament. But it's about as convincing as having a truck playing Seabiscuit in a movie about horse racing. The basketball in it is phony and having an actor depict an assistant coach as an alcoholic psychotic is classic bad taste.

Okay, so we're a tough critic. What pictures would we classify as the 50 greatest of all time? We couldn't. We couldn't go as high as 50 or even 15. The over-all quality is too thin. But we could go to eight (take a look at our picks above).

Note, our choice as #1, "Field of Dreams," appears as #38 on the SI list. All we can say is that SI never got it: that "Field of Dreams" was just that--a dream, a fairy tale, a piece of whimsy that calls for the suspension of belief.

As whimsy, it is art--charming, magnetic, with superlative writing, production, and acting: in perfect keeping with the peanuts, popcorn, crackerjacks, and baloney of the Shoeless Joe Jackson legend.

If "Field of Dreams" was too imaginative for SI's blood, how could it snootily dismiss "Rudy" from its list of 50? "Rudy" is a wonderfully warm and engaging true-life story of a kid from a large blue-collar family, whose only ambition in life is to go to Notre Dame and make the football squad.

The picture is beautifully directed, photographed, and produced with totally believable football scenes and football coaches. How could SI have failed to classify "Rudy" among the top 10 choices?

A final word about SI's rankings at #2, #3, and #4--"Rocky," "Raging Bull," and "Chariots of Fire." You cannot argue. They are the only sports films that have won Oscars as the Best Picture of the Year in which they were produced.

Special Scholastic Coach Oscarettes for the most convincing movie performances as athletes: Tom Hanks, as the manager in "A League of Their Own" (absolute perfection); Robert DeNiro as Jake LaMotta in "Raging Bull;" Kevin Costner, any time he portrays a sports-related role (he is obviously an athlete); Bing Crosby for the way he threw a baseball every time he was required to do so ... it was no accident, Bing had been a ballplayer at Gonzaga University, and, lastly, in fond memory, Spencer Tracy.

We remember seeing him playing catch in the very first movie in which he appeared, "Up the River" (1930). He was the pitcher on a prison team, and it was the very first time we saw an actor throw a ball as if it weren't the first time he ever did it. He became our favorite actor on the spot--and remained that way until he died.

Our respect for actors achieved an enormous boost in watching them perform in movies we liked. During the making of "Bang the Drum Slowly," we kiddingly congratulated Michael Moriarty for his form as the pitcher, and he surprised us with his answer: "I never played baseball in my life. The technical director had to take me out to Central Park for two months to teach me how to throw the ball."

Even more surprising to us was Geena Davis's response to her great performance as a catcher and hitter in "A League of Their Own." Her answer: "I never played any kind of ball as a girl. But I learned how to do it with a month of intense instruction."

Geena is obviously one of those "naturals." When she discovered archery several years ago, she took it up and became a national champion after a short course on the fundamentals.

RELATED ARTICLE: Coach's Greatest Sports Movies of All-Time

1. Field of Dreams

2. Rocky

3. Raging Bull

4. Chariots of Fire

5. Rudy

6. A League of Their Own

7. Bang the Drum Slowly

8. Bull Durham