Spirituality and the Sisters.

Life Changing Relationships: Bad Boys, Bad Girls by Rev. James T. Meeks Moody Press, February 2002 $9.99, ISBN 0-802-42994-7

Victory in Singleness: A Strategy for Emotional Peace by Valerie & Jerome Clayton Moody Press, 2002 $12.99, ISBN 0-802-44015-0

The latest census data indicate that 47 percent of African-American women have never been married, up from 32 percent in 1990. One need only look in the pews on Sunday mornings to see that sisters, many of whom are unmarried, make up the vast majority of the active church-going population. It's no wonder, therefore, that there is a growing body of literature by African-American Christian writers that addresses issues related to sisters, singleness and spirituality. Prolific Christian writers such as Michelle McKinney Hammond (If Men Are Like Buses Then How Do I Catch One) and Rev. Dr. Suzan Johnson Cook (A New Dating Attitude) have written on the subject. Their books outline the dos and don'ts of Christian dating, which includes maintaining sexual purity, and offer advice for how a woman can righteously land the man of her dreams.

Two recent offerings, both from Moody Press address the topic. The first is Life Changing Relationships: Bad Boys, Bad Girls by Chicago pastor, Rev. James T. Meeks. Life Changing Relationships is unique in that it offers a rarely presented male perspective on the topic of singleness, although it assumes a mostly female audience. Meeks' use of contemporary language and analogies may appeal to young adult readers. However, his vacillation between preachy and conversational narratives leads readers on digressive tangents that stray far away from the issues that Meeks seeks to address.

More than that, Life Changing Relationships does little to change or advance the discussion of Christian singleness. Instead, the author spends the majority of the discussion identifying ungodly character traits that make women and men unworthy of godly companionship. He uses examples from a biblical hall of fame of female villains and vixens--Delilah is one--to warn women not to engage in various forms of deceit or trickery to land, or keep, a man. In his discussion of male behavior, he equates men to various types of dogs. Yet he provides little admonishment or condemnation of the behaviors in which these so-called dogs engage. Instead, he warns women to steer clear of these unseemly creatures. As one of the few male authors who have weighed in on the subject, Meeks misses an opportunity to help brothers develop into spiritually sensitive mates.

By contrast, Victory in Singleness: A Strategy for Emotional Peace by Valerie Clayton, with husband and psychotherapist Jerome Clayton, adds tremendously to the discussion of Christian singleness. The authors provide in-depth analysis and discussion about the emotional challenges that singleness can cause. Specifically, the Claytons identify signs and symptoms of three emotions: envy, discouragement and bitterness that many women, in particular, experience while facing prolonged singleness. Valerie Clayton testifies to having experienced these emotions herself, as she remained single throughout her thirties.

A series of questions and checklists help readers to identify these emotions in themselves. After Presenting biblical passages that speak to those emotions, the Claytons, in a process-oriented, therapeutic fashion, give recommendations on how readers can work through the emotions. The discussion effectively merges the spiritual with the psychological in ways that are useful to women who seek lasting solutions to overcoming the emotional baggage that keeps many single women from living life to the fullest. The book would make a wonderful resource for singles or women's Bible studies, singles' workshops or for individual devotional time.

Despite its increasing prevalence, being single still carries with it a sense of stigma and a feeling of isolation, especially for women. Because many women turn to God when confronting emotional issues that make them feel inadequate, Christian writers will continue to find an audience for literature that addresses this topic.

God's Leading Lady: Out of the Shadows and Into the Light by T.D. Jakes Penguin Putnam, June 2002 $19.95, ISBN 0-399-14883-3

Bishop Jakes has written a magnificent song of redemption. Sweet, rhythmic and melodic, rooted in the Word and in the wisdom acquired throughout his exceptional life, Jakes forges ahead, traveling the continuum that began with Woman, Thou Art Loosed! His latest release, God's Leading Lady, provides a road map for living the abundant life that the Creator has ordained for you. Toward that end, Bishop Jakes serves as a spiritual coach, or guide, for those who are temporarily stuck in disappointment and regret and want to climb out of the mire that ensnares us all at one time or another, or poised for a place in the spotlight.

In this book, he uses acting as a metaphor to illustrate the challenges of life, the brilliant possibilities, the requisite commitment and the preparation for overcoming obstacles. Jakes is well suited to employ acting techniques, having been a playwright of some note. This work of spiritual nonfiction is enlivened by Jakes' spectacularly lyrical voice; his writing is on a par with Paul Laurence Dunbar, Khalil Gibran and Rainer Maria Rilke.

This mighty man of God uses his talents to offer keen insights into ancient and sacred biblical stories. In particular, he brings greater clarity to biblical matriarchs like Eve, Sarah, Bathsheba and Naomi, who were more often than not eventually emancipated by God from the fates of their misdeeds and foibles. Thankfully, he provides the modern woman a fresh and ingenious examination of the "Proverbs 31" woman. Here, he prompts us to rethink the excessive and popular view of what a pious woman ought to be. Along the way, Jakes presents insights into the rise of influential women like Cathy Hughes of Radio One, Aretha Franklin, Eleanor Roosevelt, Helen Keller and Oprah Winfrey.

Bishop Jakes covers many of the issues faced by women throughout their lifetime. Through his empathetic writing, readers experience admonishment, enlightenment and ultimately affirmation. God's Leading Lady will lead you to many revelations and meaningful worship.

--L. Carol Lewis is the author of Little Lumpy's Book of Blessings and will embark upon divinity studies at Yale University in the fall of 2002.

Oh God! A Black Woman's Guide to Sex and Spirituality by The Reverend Dr. Susan Newman One World/Ballantine, April 2002 $23.95, ISBN 0-345-45077-9

In Oh God! A Black Woman's Guide to Sex and Spirituality, readers are given a candid look at how one ordained minister, the Reverend Dr. Susan Newman, views the role of sex in the lives of black women. Her aim appears to be to provoke discussion and thought, and Oh God! has the potential to do just that and more. Dr. Newman feels that it is time to bring sex and spirituality into the same conversation. She embarks on her journey by taking a critical look at society, as well as the church's double standard for men and women.

Dr. Newman pushes a number of hot-button issues to the forefront, including how women are depicted in the Bible, oftentimes as the property of men. From a woman's very first childhood lessons about sex to scriptural examples based in a "patriarchal" Hebrew society, she provides insight into how women have been socialized to feel guilty and fearful about sex throughout the ages. She continues by writing about the long-term effects that painful experiences--including abuse and even slavery--have had on black women's attitude toward sexual intimacy.

"Christian women today are sexually frustrated because they have tried to literally interpret their lives today based on this ancient biblical text [the Bible]." Dr. Newman encourages women to be responsible in making decisions in their sex lives based on what feels right to them. She wants black women--married or not--to be able to enjoy the freedom of a healthy sex life without guilt, fear or shame. That women and men are unfairly held to different standards of sexuality is true, but perhaps it is men's roles and lifestyles that require reexamination.

Though Dr. Newman's writing will compel some to take a deeper look at scripture and sexual mores, it is difficult to disregard literal interpretations of scripture concerning the appropriateness of sexual relations (Genesis 2:24, I Corinthians 6:12-7:9). Her ideas are carefully crafted and her knowledge impressive, however, some might disagree with her conclusions. Those interested in reading Oh! God must make their own determinations based on personal relationships with God and a clear sense of the boundaries of their own sexuality.

--Lynda Carpenter is a freelance writer currently residing in New York City.