South Africa: "it's cool ... I'm good".

I'VE BEEN TO LOTS OF PLACES and tried many languages--making mince meat of Spanish, French, Japanese and all others in between. When traveling the world, stick with what works. Maybe 50-50 the extension or snap the big hip. Simple, but it works everywhere.

On a long flight back from Japan, this guy asked me in broken English: "What is to look forward to in America?" I thought about it for a minute, and said, "Learn these two things and you'll be alright: 'It's cool' (the international thumbs-up to keep everything on the up and up), and 'I'm good' (flatten the back of your hand when enough is enough). Those two seem to work best in the big picture." we'd catch eye contact throughout the long flight and he'd hit me with "It's cool. I'm good," right quick. When we got to LA, I'm getting rousted at customs when I see him go up to the lady at immigration. "It's cool I'm good," and he skated right on through into America.

I MAKE IT MY MISSION to get as far gone as I can when I'm out there, and South Africa is way out there. I'd disappear from the pack and get lost. Johannesburg is one tough town, and where I went was deep in the cuts. But I stuck to "It's cool. I'm good" to get me out, white ass and all. My crew lately has been the Volcom dudes. They're filming a movie, and the theme of said movie is "getting gone." How cool is that for me? Two solid years in the making--Japan, Oz, Africa--we were all there.

FLYING TO JOBURG is 14 hours from Atlanta. Two days after leaving SF I was in Durban at the biggest mega-mall in the Southern Hemisphere, Gateway Shoppertainment World, where they have the Wave House--cool folks, kill spine. Tony Hawk got 50-large to show up and blast off there a few years ago, and his image is all over the place; "All Hail the Bird." Malls in South Africa are super big and super secure. No vagrants or pestilence. Just good looking white folk that smile a lot. Mall skating is in, I conclude.

GERMISTON is one of the most epic spots in the world--snake run into a bowl complete with acorns, kinks, and graffiti, Down the line is fast and furious. Here the old Indy handplant done very well by Senor Stratton while Suski gets his D low to high. This place rocks. Nando's Chicken Shack is right next door.

FOUR DAYS IN DURBAN was disrupted by sleep disfunction. We were awake and ready to skate at five am. By Johannesburg we had gotten into the swing of things. We drove there from Durban--six hours made into nine by way of safari. No cheetahs or rhinos, but all the rest were "within reach." Joburg is hot and scary. Downtown is something out of a movie; piles of skinned animals, wasted lives and power lurking. Not the place to be when the sun goes down, but an epic skate spot. Germiston is in town, so me and Apples took off and skated it alone before 10 am. Early birds get the worms.

Joburg was my first break out. Pretoria has some spots, but I was waiting for Cape Town. More malls, more useless security, and more creepy smiles and "How's its?" Maybe you saw Michael Caine in Zulu, where the Brits fought the Zulus and Shaka Zulu? Another wipe out like Custer and the Native Americans. So sick. Cape Town is the end of the world and the end of the line. Three weeks in and the gang looked mighty taxed. We stayed at the casino. Lose. But the most beautiful city in recent memory. Cool mountains. Colder water. Somewhere along the way we met Darryl Freedman, who was some longboarder dude who took us back to his crypt and showed us a video of him launching himself off a ramp into a double-flip yard sale off some bridge in SD. That had the gang laughing and slamming their fists into the floor over the insanity of it all. Be warned: Darryl Freedman is coming. Check the NK vid. Done deal, dude. We left it all there.

Thanks to Remy, Ian, Dave, Wave House, Dallas, Randall Moses, and all the other friendly skaters. KEEP SKATING OUT OF THE MALLS AND UP ON THE WALLS.