Someone Promised Mentors: Will You Deliver?

What are recruiters promising? Many new hires say that they accepted a job because of a promised mentoring program--one that never materializes, and one that the manager doesn't know was part at the discussions. Where does that leave the manager who may not be aware of this expectation? Faced with anchoring mobile Gen Xers, organizations are exploring mentoring as an inexpensive way to improve retention. But mentoring is not a technique that can be applied like a warm blanket to salve the problems at orientation, training, skills development. and retention. There are two reasons why mentoring isn't foolproof--the mentor and the protege. If you are considering a mentoring program, at becoming a mentor yourself, here are same paints to pander:

(1) If you can't (or won't) do it, give convincing reasons up front; (2) establish the rules of engagement; (3) a mentoring relationship doesn't guarantee loyally; (4) having a protege has political risks; (5) you can't force anyone to take advice; and (6) expect a quid pro quo.

KEY CONCEPTS

* Acute Demand for Mentoring

* Promises Recruiters Make that Managers Don't Know About

* Instituting a Mentoring Program

* What New Hires Expect

* Improving Employee Retention

Do you know what your new hires are expecting--not just from you, but from the organization? There has always been a degree of disconnect between recruiters and managers on who promised what to whom, but too many new hires have told me they took a particular job because of a promised mentoring program that never materialized. Perhaps the recruiters didn't guarantee that a mentor would be waiting in the parking lot for each new hire, but many will admit they did nothing to discourage the hottest candidates from believing some form of mentoring would be forthcoming. This fact is not always passed on to managers who, until confronted, may not be aware of how acute the demand for mentoring is.

Mentoring has been talked about since 1995 but, this year, recruiters tell me that more candidates asked directly if the organization had a mentoring program. Many schools have even formed alumni mentoring groups to work with both undergraduates and young alumni.

In focus groups I've done, medical students believe that anyone going into an organization that employs more than a handful of people needs a mentor. Candidates address the issue early on--or so they believe--and don't necessarily mention it to the person who makes them the offer. They assume a program is in place and they'll fit in. Imagine their surprise and sense of betrayal when they arrive and find it isn't so. Where does that leave the manager who may not be aware of this expectation?

Mentoring is hot again--but not foolproof

Mentoring was a hot concept in the 1970s and it's become hot again. Faced with anchoring highly mobile Gen Xers, many organizations have explored the idea of a mentoring program because it seems to be an inexpensive way to improve retention. All those 20-somethings are out there, ready, waiting, and eager for sage advice from wise and nurturing physicians. What could be more encouraging to a new hire than the idea of a godfather who'll keep him from harm? What's wrong with this picture? Mentoring is not a technique that can be applied like a warm blanket to solve the problems of orientation, training, skills development, and retention. There are two reasons why mentoring isn't foolproof-- the mentor and the protege.

Faced with both demands and expectations, many organizations decide that assigning older or long-term physicians to mentor younger hires will turn even the most recalcitrant veteran into a mentor. Not always. Some people are temperamentally unsuited for mentoring. It imposes additional work on managers. Some managers literally have no time. Some just don't want to be bothered, period. No one can be forced to mentor--it's a pretty unimaginative physician who can't figure out ways to blow off the assignment. A medical director--or even a department head--eager to institute a mentoring program will not necessarily succeed if potential mentors are reluctant.

On the flip side, there are new hires who are argumentative ("That's not the way I heard it."), arrogant ("My degree is from a top school, who's he to tell me?"), or just plain disinterested ("Who cares?"). Sometimes, although both parties are willing--even anxious--to participate in the mentoring process, there is a personality conflict that precludes any meaningful communication. Pairing the right people is a real coup for management.

Instituting a mentoring program

If you are considering a mentoring program, or becoming a mentor yourself, here are some points to ponder.

I. If you can't (or won't) do it, give convincing reasons up front

If you've been assigned to be a mentor, you must do so--or decline very gracefully immediately. If you're the one assigning people to mentor and they balk, let them off the hook. The fallout from neglecting a protege will come out in an exit interview. If she doesn't get what was promised, the final interview will reflect her disappointment in detail and that will reflect on you. One of the most mentioned reasons given by new hires for moving on within a year was the lack of a mentor.

If mentoring doesn't appeal to you, but you're under extreme pressure to do it, you'll have to take a stand with your boss or work out something with your assigned protege. If you can't spare even an hour a week, say so. Let your protege shadow you through a day. Offer to be on call to answer specific questions. Don't let him even think the words, "build a relationship." There's not going to be one. However, if he realizes that you are willing, but honestly can't give the time, he may seek help from someone else without tarring you in the grapevine. Doing nothing in the hope the issue will be forgotten is not an option. Other management fads may fade away, but those who have benefited from mentoring will keep this one alive.

2. Establish the rules of engagement

Nothing dooms what might have been a successful mentoring relationship as quickly as inchoate, unsatisfied expectations. Spend the time up front to explore what the protege thinks he wants from the relationship and respond honestly. Once you know your protege's agenda, you'll be able to gauge the time commitment and examine your own willingness to participate. A weekly meeting may be too often. Once every six months is too infrequent. You may be able to meet only a few of your protege's expectations, but you probably know someone who could help with the rest. Call these people first to make sure they're willing, then provide referrals. Being shunted from one reluctant advisor to another would make any protege feel like undeliverable mail.

3. A mentoring relationship doesn't guarantee loyalty

It's true. You can put much time and effort into a protege who will leave for greener pastures at the first chance. You may feel your efforts were in vain. Again, focus on what you can learn. Don't expect any workplace relationship, however invested both parties are, to be a happily-ever-after one.

4. Having a protege has political risks

Your protege interacts most with peers. Be discreet about what you say, bearing in mind the axiom that two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. Your protege may respect, even like, you and intend to be infinitely discreet. However, even a raised eyebrow could be interpreted by peers as a negative comment or confirmation of a compelling rumor. The temptation to pass on hot new gossip may overwhelm even the best judgment.

5. You can't force anyone to take advice

If you're an eager mentor with years of experience and excellent advice, nothing will frustrate you more than a protege who balks at every suggestion. Before you decide she is hopeless, try letting her mentor you. The questions and challenges she presents might provide a major growth opportunity for you. The greatest danger in rising to the top is having no one who will question your ideas or force you to defend them as you had to when you were a neophyte.

A vice president for medical affairs, assigned to mentor a brash, confident young physician said, "I hated every contact with Jack until I realized that nobody had talked to me or challenged me as he did in years. It was a revelation and, painful as it sometimes is, I never miss our weekly lunch. Do you think any of my direct reports would be as honest as he is? Not likely." If, however, despite effort on both sides, you deduce an irreconcilable personality conflict, help her find another mentor. You can't force chemistry, either.

6. Expect a quid pro quo

If you're spending hours as a mentor, why shouldn't you expect the protege to reciprocate? If he is a computer whiz, and you're not, how about some tutoring on the shortcuts? If you're swamped with a project and your protege could help, why shouldn't he? Most managers tell me that their proteges welcome the opportunity to reciprocate, especially if they secretly intend to move on quickly. Paybacks reduce guilt.

Mentoring is for any new employee

Mentoring is not just for young workers. Peer mentoring for any new employee can be very effective. New hires long to know the rules of the informal system. They want to know what is acceptable and what is not. A peer assigned to answer questions can be more effective than a boss who wears the organization like an old shoe and, consequently, won't think to mention the holes in the sole to a newcomer.

Finally, some frank discussions with HR are in order. What are recruiters promising? Recruiting resembles sorority/fraternity rush more closely than any other activity. Everyone promises whatever they believe will sell the other side and the manager who ends up with the pledges may be endlessly and unpleasantly surprised by what he or she is expected to do.

Marilyn Moats Kennedy Managing Partner, Career Strategies Inc., Wilmette, Illinois and a long-time member of the ACPE faculty.