Some of the younger people (Igor Smerdov, Tania Chatterjee, Nabnita Jit, Marijana Logan) attending the Caux conferences tell FAC about the experiences that have changed their lives.

`Take the next train'

`I must be a very stubborn person,' reflects Igor Smerdov from Nizhny Novgorod (formerly Gorky), Russia. He is referring to his determination over the last seven years to complete his doctoral thesis, despite the turmoil in his country where `what is abnormal is normal and what is normal is abnormal'. In order to finance himself he had to `work too hard', teaching in university, acting as an assistant to an oil man, editing books for a publishing house, giving private lessons and translating technical writing. He could not depend on his parents as his mother had lost all her savings in the financial crisis of the early 1990s and his father's salary was some 25 months in arrears.

The subject of his thesis, which at the time of our interview he has just submitted, is the `greatest 19th century Russian philosopher', Vladimir Solovyov. Smerdov's sense of vocation to `finish a major work about his philosophy' goes back to 1990 but first he had to obtain a degree in Russian literature in the faculty of philology, which he did in 1994.

Solovyov was an Orthodox Christian and `his attempt to realize his deep philosophical ideas in practical ways' influenced Smerdov's own life. Solovyov tried to apply principles of unselfishness and love of his neighbours--for example, by giving his last fur coat to someone who asked for it in the middle of winter. `Though he could afford to give such gifts, it happened quite often,' Smerdov adds wryly.

Smerdov was brought up by agnostic parents, so what led him to take an interest in Christian philosophy?

`My first transcendental experience was during military service when I lost my automatic rifle on an airfield. This was a serious offence and I instinctively prayed. It was eventually found on the roof of a hangar--probably put there by some friends as a joke--but it made me feel that prayer was answered.'

In the army he had access to a library and took the chance to read major classical novels, by Tolstoy, Dostoevsky and others, which were based on Orthodox Christianity.

Later when he returned home he discovered more books. Despite the fact that his grandmother had been an atheist and a Communist Young Pioneer, these included a New Testament of his great-grandmother's. `It was a stunning experience to read it for the first time in my life.'

This was in the late Soviet period when Gorbachev introduced glasnost and perestroika, and gradually more religious books were published. Smerdov spent most of his university stipend on them. He also started attending church occasionally where he would pray and light candles for his family and friends. This helped him to keep to his sense of vocation.

Another marking experience came in 1997 when he felt that Moscow was the place to pursue his studies. `I had great doubts,' he recalls. `I was earning quite a bit by then and I needed to be sure that my studies justified the upheaval.'

He went to Moscow for a few days. Still undecided about what to do, he stood on an underground station platform and prayed. He determined to take the next train. If it was north-bound he would go home; if south-bound he would head for the student hostel and stay. The first train was heading north, but no one was allowed to get on board. So he ended up going south and staying.

In 1998 he took part in an MRA-sponsored Foundations For Freedom course in the UK. It strengthened his resolve that he must work to `serve the public interest'. He is not yet sure what form that will take but he assures me that `I'll be no less stubborn in any new area where I feel called to be than I was in pursuing my studies'.

Unexpected jobs

Tania Chatterjee and Nabnita Jit first heard about Asia Plateau, the MRA centre in Panchgani, India, whilst studying for their Master's degrees in Social Work at Baroda University in Gujurat. Tania Chatterjee comes from the steel-making city of Durgapur in West Bengal. Nabnita was originally from the state of Orissa but her family now live in Baroda.

In December 1999 their class went to do field-work in Pune. As Christmas Day was a holiday they went up to the hill villages of Mahableshwar and Panchgani. `We called into Asia Plateau and were very inspired by all that we heard,' said Tania. Several of the students asked if they could work there, but were told that most of the work was voluntary.

About a month later, the dean of their faculty received a letter from Asia Plateau asking if interviews could be held for four posts. About 30 out of the 40 students asked to be interviewed, even though the salary on offer was low. Four of them were given posts, starting in May 2000. Tania was to help run the educational programmes at Asia Plateau and Nabnita was to work on the communications.

I asked them what they had learned over the past year.

`I have learned how to accept the other person,' said Tania. She said that she had always wanted others to do things her way and had never taken their ideas into consideration. `I even thought that their ideas were inferior to mine,' she admitted. `Now I try to use everyone's ideas. It has taught me to respect other people.'

They also spoke of the value of taking time to be quiet and listen to what Gandhi called `the inner voice'. They found it gave them a chance to sort things out; to realize when something was wrong; and, sometimes, to know what to do. Tania told of a time when she was working in some schools in South India. One day she had the thought that the word `transparency' should be among the list of values which the teachers she was working with that day would discuss and prioritize. It turned out that this word was discussed by the group for over an hour, as they had all put it at the bottom of their lists.

Tania and Nabnita spent three weeks at the Caux conferences this summer, heading service shifts. `We have read about how reconciliation happens here,' said Nabnita, `but it is amazing to have first-hand experience of it. I think in India we need to be more concerned about global issues, as well as those of personal responsibility, growth and change.'

Tania had learned more about forgiveness: `I find it very hard to forgive my friends and family. Small things used to matter so much to me. Coming here I have seen people forgive those who have murdered their own brother or massacred their community.'

Whatever they do in the future, they say that what they have learned through working with MRA will stay with them for life.

Discovering values

Marijana Longin was 17 in 1991 when her country, Croatia, declared independence from Yugoslavia. Until then, Serbs, Croats and people from other ethnic minorities had lived peacefully together in her town, Zadar. They even celebrated each other's religious festivals. Now, with the propaganda from all sides stirring up hate and fear, many of the Serbs fled to Yugoslavia.

Later that year, the war started. Longin recalls, `My apartment was bombed. There were long periods without electricity. The local news was biased. We had to turn to CNN or Sky News to find out what was really happening.'

She finished high school while the war was still being fought. She had wanted to be a laboratory engineer but that was out of the question as her parents were unemployed. She found work as a lab technician in the local hospital. Because the Serbs had held many of the top jobs there was a great shortage of skilled people. Longin had no time for proper training but had to learn as she worked.

Four years later, not having enough money to pursue an engineering course, Marijana Longin decided to study culture and tourism at Zadar's university.

In summer 2000 a family member invited her to attend the conference in Caux. When she first arrived she felt overwhelmed--first because she lacked self-confidence, which she puts down to so many of her plans being thwarted by circumstances, and secondly because it surpassed her dreams. `I was brought up as a Roman Catholic with moral values. I was taught not to hate but to respect everyone. Seeing films from Hollywood had convinced me that I was very old-fashioned. Many young people in Croatia think only about their careers and money. In Caux I saw people who were thinking about moral values. I didn't think that anything like this existed any more.'

She found encouragement to hold to the values that she believed in, and returned home `peaceful yet full of energy. I was so self-confident that I couldn't believe it was me. I knew I had learned something worthwhile.'

She completed all her exams in five months. Then her professor, whom she had told about her experience at Caux, asked her to write her final thesis on `Partnership in intercultural communication', to be based on her experience with MRA in Caux. He must have been impressed as he asked her to stay on as his assistant. She graduated this June.

She does not know what she will be doing in the long-term but she says she wants to learn more about `how to help people without getting something for myself'. She would like to have experiences that can help in her country `if they want my help'.