Soap watch; More disasters on EastEnders' horizon.
Well, it certainly seems that way, when Gianni (Marc Bannerman) and Jackie (Race Davies) find themselves trapped in the wreckage of the Arches after chasing that little blighter Martin Fowler (James Alexandrou) and his mate Asif (Ashvin Luximon).
Forced to be together, they get cosy and it seems Gianni's charms are working, but then disaster strikes. The earth finally does move for the Italian stallion then...
Elsewhere in the Square it seems love is in the air at last for Sonia (Natalie Cassidy), with sexy Italian exchange student Enrico (Francois Pandolofo). Blimey. Good on yer girl.
And what of Grant? Well, when Sam (Daniella Westbrook) goes to pick Courtney up at the crche, she's shocked to learn that her father has already collected her! What will Phil (Steve McFadden) make of it, and more's to the point Beppe (Michael Greco)?
Watch out, too, for some brilliant moments when Phil tells Peggy (Barbara Windsor) a few home truths about the Mitchell family!
In Coronation Street, Natalie (Denise Welch) is having a bit of a freak- out as it's the anniversary of her wedding to Des.
Betty, Leanne and Vinny are treading cautiously, but she gets out of their way anyway, heading to his old house to stand and think about what might have been. Oh my god, it's tears- R-us in here. And then, a knight in shining armour appears. Unfortunately it's Jim MacDonald. I mean, please, please, please don't let this go anywhere, Corrie.
Elsewhere, Spider (Martin Hancock) is working at the benefits agency and is having a bit of a nightmare with Les (Bruce Jones), who is trying to claim every benefit under the sun. But Spider has a cunning plan ...
And get this, Ian (Jonathan Guy Lewis) asks Sharon (Tracie Bennett) to marry her, but he doesn't want Rita there. Will she do it, the mad, crazy woman that she is. No, Sharon, I say NO! And stop treating Rita like a fool. She's not. Thanks you. 'Nuff respect for Barbara Knox, I say!
There's some comedy moments this week with the excellent Tyrone and his new dog, a greyhound called Monica - named after `the thin one in Friends'. Quite.
Watch out for sparks flying in Brookside this week as a very angry and upset Margi (Bernadette Foley) confronts Susannah (Karen Drury). But she's okay, because she has Max (Steven Pinder) to defend her. Like, yeah! He's as helpful as a chocolate fireguard. Honestly. Elsewhere, Sinbad's (Michael Starke) worried as his hearing isn't improving. Lucky him, I say. He doesn't have to listen to all the mince everyone who lives near him talks.
There's a lot of mince coming out of the mouths of Darren (Timothy Deenihan), Victoria (Patricia Potter) and Mark (Dugald Bruce Lockhart) as they all sit down to dinner together like one big happy threesome.
So, Chris (Peter Amory) is still kidnapped in Emmerdale, and Liam's (Mark Powley) trying it on with Zoe (Leah Bracknell)! Don't think he'll get far there!
Kelly (Adele Silva) and Roy (Nicky Evans) have moved into the cottage. Is she annoying enough, or could we just squeeze some more irritating nonsense out of her maybe?
Send her off to Sunset Beach for a while and she might be happy. Unlike Annie (Sarah Buxton) who's drowning her sorrows on a solo drinking spree, as no one will talk to her. A resident psycho does though, and she makes the mistake of throwing a drink in his face, and then doing the classic, walk up a dark alley on your own, drunk, late at night. Bound to be as safe as houses that ...
Arlo (Asier Cebeira) - the annoying teenager on Family Affairs - is getting his comeuppance this week, and things just go from bad to worse for the poor boy. But he's a little git, so he's not a poor boy at all.
There's lots of testosterone flying about in Charnham actually, as Josh (Terry Burns) and Pete (David Easter) go at it hammer and tongs, and Josh ends up in the nick. Not good for someone preparing for a wedding. But what's that all about really? Him marrying Yasmin (Ebony Thomas) Another teen wedding doomed for failure. But then that's what soaps are made of really, aren't they?