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Soap duds and divas; What is it with soapsters? All that money, yet still curiously lacking in style. Zip. Nada. Nothing. Here's our pick of the good (v tricky), the bad (easy) and the ugly (spoilt for choice).

Byline: Text by Lianne Ludlow.

Brookside

Bad: Suzanne Collins (Nikki): `I was putting me fake tan on and this sheet fell on me, so I came out in it.' Sounds about right.

Good: So Grace Kelly, so demure! So what's it doing on Diane Burke (Katie)? Yes, it confused us too.

EastEnders

Bad: We love Charlie Brooks (left) but going to a `posh' gallery opening has thrown our Janine. Knitted trompe l'oeil is indeed `quirky' but it's also `rubbish' and `unflattering'.

Ugly: The word `gallery' has also flummoxed Kacey Ainswoth (aka Little Mo, right), who appears to pick all her outfits blindfolded and with the aid of a pin.

Good: Hark! Who could this be? Surely not that Sam `I suck lemons' Mitchell from Albert Square. Kim Medcalf scrubs up surprisingly well in a Ben de Lisi gown. That's the way to do it.

Ugly: We couldn't resist going beyond the grave again. Ex-soapie and now, er, `pop singer' Jennifer Ellison gets it vv wrong in a scary, but oddly prim, jumpsuit.

Coronation Street

Ugly: Note to Suranne Jones (Karen) - the last person we saw wearing a crucifix over a jumper was Dorien in Birds Of A Feather.

Good: We found it sooo hard to find a single current cast member who dresses even remotely sanely we had to dig up the poor dead Maxine - aka Tracy `I bare me bits' Shaw (right).

Bad: We get the feeling screen mum Deirdre may be behind Kate `stroppy Tracy' Ford's get-up (above left). And maybe under it too.

Hollyoaks

Good: Her fellow soapies whined she shouldn't do it, but Sarah `moany Mandy' Dunn (left) is her own person and if she doesn't want to look slapperish she darn well won't!

Bad: 'If I swish this way you'll see me legs and, oops, me front bottom!' laughs Elize du Toit (irritating Izzy).

Ugly: Rare non-blondes they may be, but Jodi Albert (aka Debbie) and Mikyla Dodd (aka Chloe) get red cards for their frocky horrors.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:May 10, 2003
Words:332
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