Signs of the times: pocketbooks, not propriety, matter. (Commentary).But enough about war. Let us turn to a truly serious issue: whether Ozzy Osbourne deserves a Pepsi commercial. This is a burning controversy. Why, as you read this, a boycott is being called to keep people from buying Pepsi products -- not because the foulmouthed foulmouthed adj. Using abusive or obscene language. Ozzy was hired as Pepsi's new spokesman, but because a foulmouthed rapper named Ludacris was dumped. In case you don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. the players here, Ludacris is a rapper of some renown. His lyrics are, shall we say, not in the Doris Day category. Here's a sample from his tune entitled -- and folks, feel free to sing along -- "Get the F-- Back." "Get the f--- back! "Luda make your skull crack!" Osbourne, meanwhile, is a burned-out rock star from the '70s and '80s who was rediscovered as a blithering blith·er intr.v. blith·ered, blith·er·ing, blith·ers To blather. [Probably blend of blather and dither. idiot, pushed into the national spotlight and transformed into a multimillionaire mul·ti·mil·lion·aire n. One whose financial assets are worth several million dollars. multimillionaire Noun a person who has money or property worth several million pounds, dollars, etc. . People watch Ozzy and his dysfunctional family dysfunctional family Psychology A family with multiple 'internal'–eg sibling rivalries, parent-child– conflicts, domestic violence, mental illness, single parenthood, or 'external'–eg alcohol or drug abuse, extramarital affairs, gambling, on MTV MTV in full Music Television U.S. cable television network, established in 1980 to present videos of musicians and singers performing new rock music. MTV won a wide following among rock-music fans worldwide and greatly affected the popular-music business. , and they laugh at his ineptitude, along with his incessant profanity Irreverence towards sacred things; particularly, an irreverent or blasphemous use of the name of God. Vulgar, irreverent, or coarse language. The use of certain profane or obscene language on the radio or television is a federal offense, but in other situations, profanity . A sample of Ozzy's lines: "Where the f--- is the f------ dog, Sharon? I mean, I'm the Prince of f------ Darkness!" A few months ago, when Ludacris was Pepsi's man, the bombastic Bill O'Reilly took the soft-drink maker to task. He called Pepsi immoral. He, too, demanded a boycott. And, like many corporate entities, fear of controversy led Pepsi to cave in To fall in and leave a hollow, as earth on the side of a well or pit. To submit; to yield. - H. Kingsley. See also: Cave Cave . Not a sense of morals, mind you. If Pepsi had that, it wouldn't have hired Ludacris in the first place. No, Pepsi was worried about customers. So it dumped Ludacris and called his brief stint "a mistake." Which didn't make Simmons very happy. After all, he controls a stable of rap artists, and they could make some major money with Pepsi-sized endorsements. Simmons, like most businessmen, is about the money. And when Pepsi hired Osbourne, he hit the roof. The accusation, of course, is racism. White profanity is OK, but black profanity is not. Simmons believes that this is an important issue, and that it warrants a boycott. What have we come to when a battle rages over who is more vulgar, the black guy or the white guy? What is Pepsi thinking in the first place? This is less about racism than it is about stupidity. You make one terrible choice. You fix it. Then you make another. Is it so critical to reach the teenage dollar that anything goes? You gotta admit, Pepsi got one thing right, even if it spelled it wrong. Ludicrous is the word. Mitch Albom is the author of the bestseller "Tuesdays With Morrie." |
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