Should I stay or should I go?

She was a young Filipino American woman, maybe in her late 20s or early 30s. During the Q-and-A portion of the U.S. CATHOLIC Award presentation this past September, she raised her hand to ask a question of spiritual author Joyce Rupp, the 2004 recipient of the annual award for furthering the cause of women in the church.

"Can you give me some reasons why young women should stay in the church?" Her question was earnest and sincere. Rupp, for her part, did her best, highlighting the value of the church's ritual and its rich history of contemplation and mysticism. Yet even she had earlier admitted that she once confided to Bishop Kenneth Untener that sometimes she felt like she only had "one little toe" in the institutional church. The now deceased bishop told her, "Joyce, keep it in there."

There are so many people out there who, although they grew up in the faith, struggle with claiming the full identity "Catholic." They have been called alienated Catholics, disaffected Catholics, nonpracticing Catholics--usually by those within the institution who are trying to lure them back. Some use the term "recovering" Catholic, although most simply say, "I grew up Catholic" or "I used to be Catholic," implying their connection is firmly in the past.

When we ask readers about what kinds of stories they'd like to see in the magazine, dozens invariably write that they need help trying to convince their adult children to return to the faith. Well, help is on the way. Our regular Testaments columnist, Alice Camille, has teamed up with former U.S. CATHOLIC editor Joel Schorn to write A Faith Interrupted: An Honest Conversation with Alienated Catholics (Loyola Press). We offer an excerpt in "We can work it out" (pages 12-17). And, remembering another group of often disaffected Catholics--gays and lesbians--Chicago pastor Richard Prendergast argues, "Let's watch our language about gays and lesbians" in this month's Sounding Board (pages 18-22).

I, too, at various points in my life, have struggled with my connection to the institutional church, even as I have been working for it! For a number of reasons, I often found it difficult to worship in a Catholic church or to align myself with the institution. But I've never given up my Catholic identity; I can't, because it's in nay hones. Despite my frustrations, I'll never "leave" the church, any more than I can leave my family of origin. Like Joyce Rupp, I always keep at least "one little toe" in the Catholic Church.

Rupp, incidentally, has been one of those people who has helped me to stay. You'll hear more from this wise "spiritual midwife" next month, when we print the text of her award acceptance speech. She's one of the people I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving.