Sexual Identity Development.

SEXUAL IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT

Yarhouse, M. A. & Burkett, L. A. (2003).

Sexual identity: Living in the time between the times. Lanham, MD: University Press of America, Inc. Paper. 182 pp. ISBN. 0-7618-2603-3.

Yarhouse, M. A. & Tan, E. S. N. (2004).

Sexual identity synthesis: Attributions, meaning-making, and the search for congruence. Lan-ham, MD: University Press of America, Inc. Paper. 220 pp. ISBN. 0-7618-2984-9.

Mark A. Yarhouse is Associate Professor in the Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology at Regent University, Virginia Beach, Virginia, and founding director of the Institute for Sexual Identity Research.

Lori A. Burkett, at the time of publication, was a doctoral candidate in Clinical Psychology at Regent University.

Erica S. N. Tan, at the time of publication, was in clinical practice at Eden Counseling Center in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Tan holds a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Regent University

Mark Yarhouse and two of his students, Lori Burkett and Erica Tan, have addressed what I consider to be the central issue regarding same-sex attraction or homosexuality. Theories of the origins of same-sex attraction abound, ranging from the most basic anticipated biological determinate, the postulated "gay gene," to the most complex psychodynamic perspectives. Yet what seems to me to be a much more balanced view between these extremes is the view articulated by Mondimore in A Natural History of Homosexuality (1996): "... Homosexuality is a human condition that develops as do most other complex behavioral phenomena, through a complicated and quite distinctly human intermingling of many factors--biological, psychological, and social" (p. xii). A fundamental observation imperative to consider at this point is that humans are personally aware beings able to make choices regarding our sense of identity and our ultimate course of behavior. As such, I believe that we can impact how we perceive ourselves and on this path towards becoming, we choose what patterns of behavior to pursue while being influenced by family of origin spheres and other biopsychology.

This is not to suggest that I believe the impact of nature and nurture to be limited in influence, for to suggest such would be a foolish assertion in light of all the data we possess regarding the contributions that genetic and environmental factors have upon us and our behavior. Rather, as an experienced psychotherapist, I have increasingly come to believe that when we pursue the processes of self-reflection and personal change available to us, particularly within the context of deeply trustworthy and supportive relationships (such as those provided within the therapeutic context and barring overwhelming biological and environmental factors over which we may not have control), we can experience significant degrees of change in personal identity and behavior patterns.

It is within this context of belief that I both welcome and affirm the two books that are the focus of this review. In Sexual Identity: A Guide to Living in the Time Between the Times, Yarhouse and Burkett offer a source of hope for the individual who does not desire to accept and affirm his or her same-sex desires, most often within the context of a deeply held personal faith. Guidance and encouragement is also offered for families and churches regarding this pressing issue. This volume can also provide therapists and others who work with those seeking to address unwanted same-sex attraction with a significant resource. This book can also be offered to clients as outlining a progression of self-help activities to assist them in not only coping with "in the meantime" but in gaining increasing self-understanding leading to more intentional choices of specific behaviors--which brings us to consider the intriguing subtitle to the book, "a guide to living in the time between the times."

Yarhouse and Burkett explain the meaning of the book's subtitle by noting that, for an individual or group, there is inevitably a time period which must pass between the time a particular struggle is engaged and the time when victory is achieved. They note that Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen refers to this in-between time in her writing as "the time between the times." They further articulate the observation that:

Perhaps no group of people finds itself as much a casualty of a war
that has already been won than those Christians who contend with same-
sex attraction. After all, they believe Christ secured them victory, and
they enjoy the knowledge of salvation. Yet, they also continue to
struggle with homosexual desires, and they do not believe that these
attractions reflect God's best for them. (p. 3).

Yarhouse and Burkett organize their volume in three sections. In the first section, they address "Foundational Considerations" in which important issues are discussed. Chapter 1 presents basic definitions and the natures of sexual orientation and sexual identity (with specific goals identified for the reader to pursue), and in consideration of whether the perspective being presented is right for the reader, concluding with a discussion of sexual identity development and the factors which may contribute to the individual's resolve. Chapter 2 primarily focuses upon an exploration of a Christian perspective on human sexuality including the specific issues of gender, physicality, the flesh, and idolatry. Chapter 3 examines ten specific myths regarding sexual orientation and the possibility of change therein (or the lack thereof), presenting reality oriented conclusions based upon the latest research findings.

In the second section, "Managing Sexual Identity," Yarhouse and Burkett provide the reader with practical guidance in four areas. Chapter 4 identifies how the reader can recognize patterns of behavior that give rise to and reinforce same-sex attractions, including underlying physical sensations, thoughts, feelings and actions, as well as immediate and brief, daily, weekly and monthly, and generational patterns that contribute to the habituation of same-sex attractions and behavior. Chapter 5 provides very specific and highly useful ways of analyzing and intentionally planning changes in one's environment that have tended to facilitate the repetition of established patterns. Worksheets and a four-step process observed to aid the individual in pursuing changes are included. Chapter 6 examines the role of scripts one has developed or internalized from others that account for self-attributions one has been making regarding a specific sexual identity and its concomitant same-sex behavior patterns. Again, practical aids for working on revising the scripts one tends to rehearse regarding same-sex issues are provided, including meaningful suggestions that assist the reader in managing his or her sexual identity via helpful "meaning-making." Included are specific comments addressed to sexual abuse survivors.

Chapter 7 speaks particularly to the individual who is struggling within the context of his or her personal faith. The title, "Living a Practical Theology of Sanctification," identifies the significance of the approach to life to which committed Christians are called, namely, to set themselves apart for God's glory and service. Yarhouse and Burkett point out that what they are advocating in their approach to dealing with same-sex attractions is not a time-limited program but a process that addresses what they refer to as one's "trajectory of life." They then continue by discussing "A Theology of Sanctification," such as the area of struggle one is seeking to address, covetousness, fidelity, chastity, forgiveness, and prayer. It is obvious that the authors are speaking to deeply committed Christians, for only serious followers of Christ would be willing to be subject to such an approach to highly disciplined living. The benefits of such an approach, however, are noted to be great, particularly offering peace with self, with others, and with God. Several practical worksheets are again provided.

The third section of the book speaks to three distinct groups: Families of those who experience same-sex attractions, the church regarding its response to these individuals, and those who struggle, offering a "final word" to those who do. Chapter 8, "A Word to Families," offers vital guidelines to parents, siblings and spouses in how best to relate to the struggling family member. Included are particularly helpful comments directed to the spouse who may have married believing that the struggling spouse was only experiencing a "quirk" that would soon disappear, or hoping that marriage would provide the spouse with "treatment" needed to cure the condition, or even believing that the spouse had been "cured" of his or her same-sex attractions. Chapter 9, "A Word to the Church," provides vital principles for ministering to those individuals experiencing same-sex attraction who may venture into or be members of the local congregation. A needed vision for such a ministry is also briefly discussed. Chapter 10, the last, provides "A Final Word to Strugglers," and includes reality oriented and encouraging comments regarding consolidating gains made, anticipating challenges yet to be faced, identifying "signature patterns of relapse" (part of the harsh reality of the change process), and concluding with "Closing Principles," which I have come to recognize as vital, including the need for patience when faced with the rejection of some, the importance of educating oneself regarding the issues one is facing, knowing when and when not to share one's struggles with others, and the imperative need for one to be accountable to others. Once again, highly useful worksheets are provided to address these issues.

The authors of the second text reviewed, Yarhouse and Tan, offer a significant, scholarly complement to Yarhouse and Burkett's very practical volume. This work comes out of the research program initiated at Regent University by Dr. Yarhouse and which is now formalized as the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity, of which Yarhouse is the founding director and by whom the vision of the institute is articulated as follows: "Our vision is to further our understanding of sexual identity, its development and synthesis, and to be a resource to students in training and those in the community who are stakeholders in these discussions."

A. Lee Beckstead, Ph.D., a practicing therapist quoted on the back cover of the book, observes that Yarhouse and Tan have taken a balanced approach to their descriptions of "how and why some people embrace different sexual and spiritual life pathways according to their values and perspectives," an approach he also identifies as "neutral" in attitude. Of all the individuals I have come to know among "the stakeholders in these discussions," I have found Yarhouse to be consistently one of the most balanced and one who readily reaches out to the broad spectrum of "stakeholders," engaging with gay-identified therapists and researchers as well as pastors and members of the Metropolitan Community Church, on the one hand, and to those who take very firm, morally based positions that strongly oppose homosexuality as a legitimate focus of identity and practice. This Yarhouse models well for his students and associates of the institute, even as such was modeled for him by his primary mentor and graduate professor, Stanton Jones, Provost and Professor of Psychology at Wheaton College. In fact, in my own experience, I would identity Jones and Yarhouse as two of the most well informed and balanced researchers, academicians, and therapists within the evangelical segment of the Christian faith among those who seek to deal with the challenging issue of homosexuality and vital personal faith.

One of the most challenging personal issues within the larger one identified is how an individual who experiences same-sex attraction develops and ultimately affirms a sexual identity along with its behavioral manifestations within the context of devout, conservative religious faith. It is this issue specifically that is the focus of this volume by Yarhouse and Tan, wherein the research project and one of its highly significant studies (with data also drawn from its pilot) is described.

The authors provide in the first section, entitled "Foundations," a review of models of sexual identity development as well as the various emerging trends in sexual identity theory. This portion provides the vital basic building blocks of any serious consideration of sexual identity, whether for the purpose of theorizing, doing research, or engaging in therapeutic practice with those who are wrestling with their own identity issues.

In Part 2 (consisting of three chapters), Yarhouse and Tan describe the essential components of the combination qualitative and quantitative study on which the book is based. The population sample consisted of 20 LBG-identified and 34 LGB-dis-identified participants along with applicable data from pilot interviews with 14 LBG-identified and 14 dis-identified participants individuals. Personal stories of grappling with the dilemma of identity achievement--that dilemma being defined as dealing with the issue of sexual identity while experiencing same-sex attraction when by far the majority of one's peers experience the opposite--along with answers to specific questions were elicited. As the authors analyzed and reported the data, no hint of bias or moral judgment enters the discussion, making the text quite readable to individuals on essentially any point of the continuum that ranges from total rejection to total acceptance and affirmation of same-sex attraction and LGB identification. I perceive this as extremely important in the interests of thoughtful consideration and civil dialogue regarding the real experience of both LGB-identified and LGB-dis-identified individuals including the sexual identity dilemma, the sexual identity development process, and the ultimate synthesis of sexual identity, whether identified or dis-identified. What can be concluded from a reading of the study's findings is that there is a significant portion of those that experience same-sex attraction that intentionally and thoughtfully, though not without difficulty, choose to dis-identify with the LGB position, the large majority of these doing so within the context of their sincere religious faith. At the same time, there are a number of LGB-identified individuals who choose that identification as they move away from the oft-labeled "faith of their fathers," also not without difficulty. The discussion of these experiences helps the sensitive reader gain an increasing appreciation for the challenges faced by both groups along with increased understanding and compassion.

The final chapter of the book (7) applies what has been observed in and concluded from the study to the three domains of theory, research and practice. It is here that the proverbial "rubber hits the road," as Yarhouse and Tan make practical application of the study's findings. For me, the most significant aspect of this last chapter is the encouragement given to theorists, researchers and practitioners alike "to be more inclusive of others with whom they are unfamiliar, and to avoid pathologizing individuals who dis-identify with same-sex attraction." In addition, they "suggest the need for clarity about what it means to dis-identify with an LGB-identity synthesis." Furthermore, they "suggest that a concerted effort be made to link theories of sexual identity development to the stress and coping literature and to consider whether identity synthesis is more fluid than commonly supposed" (p. 135).

I experience great sadness when I think of all those who find themselves experiencing un-wanted feelings of same-sex attraction, especially within the context of our current society, where both the pro and con positions regarding homosexuality are predominantly expressed in an essentially rigid and hostile manner toward the other perspective. The sexual identity dilemma faced by these individuals is challenging enough without such an essentially politicized tug-of-war pulling them from both sides. I am greatly pleased to highly recommend both of these reviewed works as making a great contribution toward establishing an arena of grace in which all who struggle might seek resolution with more unbiased support, compassion, and assistance in pursuing what each chooses for himself or herself, a freedom granted both by God himself and by the constitution of our so-called "land of the free"--though these works may be perceived as relatively "lone voices, crying in the wilderness" of prevailing mindsets.

REFERENCE

Mondimore, Mark Francis (1996). A Natural History of Homosexuality. Baltimore, MD: The Johns Hopkins University Press.

REVIEWERS FOR THIS ISSUE

SISEMORE, TIMOTHY A., Ph.D., is Director of Research and Professor of Counseling Psychology at Psychological Studies Institute in Chattanooga and Atlanta. His research interests include the use of Christian language and literature in psychotherapy, and his clinical work focuses on children and adolescents.

STRAUSS, GARY, H., ED.D. is a professor of psychology at Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in La Mirada, California. He has taught many classes on sexuality and the integration of Christianity and psychology. Dr. Strauss has authored numerous articles in the area of sexuality as well as taught seminars/workshops in Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and the United States. He received his Doctorate of Education from Northern Illinois University and also holds a certificate from UCLA for the treatment of sexual dysfunction.

Reviewed by GARY H. STRAUSS, EdD