Setting us straight.I was incredulous in·cred·u·lous adj. 1. Skeptical; disbelieving: incredulous of stories about flying saucers. 2. Expressive of disbelief: an incredulous stare. as I read "10 Reasons Gays Chase Straights" in your recent Sex issue [August 19]. I have been openly gay since I was 15 years old, and I have never chased a straight guy thinking I could lure him into a sexual encounter or an (impossible) relationship. I have never looked at a gay man I might be attracted to and sized him up in terms of how "straight-acting" he is. I find other gay men hot frequently because of the contradictions of so-called masculine and feminine energies and traits that are a part of who they are. Sure, I fantasize about Colin Farrell and other Hollywood hunks--but it's because I love men, not because I yearn to have a straight guy fall in love with me. We need to get past this idea that straight = masculine and gay = feminine. Have we made no progress at all in feeling good about ourselves? Jamie Beaman, New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of , N.Y. Your commentary "10 Reasons Gays Chase Straights" brought the usual mix of insight and good humor Noun 1. good humor - a cheerful and agreeable mood amiability, good humour, good temper humour, mood, temper, humor - a characteristic (habitual or relatively temporary) state of feeling; "whether he praised or cursed me depended on his temper at the time"; to a provocative issue. But reason 8 hit a sour note when you told those of us who are gay and happily married (to the opposite sex) to "snap out of it." The notion of the gay married man may be cliche, but what about the happy, proud, married, and to-some-degree-out gay man (or woman)? Those of us in acknowledged mixed--orientation marriages are an invisible minority in both the gay and straight camps, but there are many of us. Thanks to the infinite diversity of human nature, we fell in love with someone who doesn't match our sexual orientation sexual orientation n. The direction of one's sexual interest toward members of the same, opposite, or both sexes, especially a direction seen to be dictated by physiologic rather than sociologic forces. . Though such matches frequently fail either in incipiency in·cip·i·ent adj. Beginning to exist or appear: detecting incipient tumors; an incipient personnel problem. [Latin incipi or down the line when disclosure occurs, please be aware that in myriad other cases mixed--orientation couples construct sublimely sub·lime adj. 1. Characterized by nobility; majestic. 2. a. Of high spiritual, moral, or intellectual worth. b. Not to be excelled; supreme. 3. Inspiring awe; impressive. 4. happy lives together despite the apparent challenges. Please don't demean de·mean 1 tr.v. de·meaned, de·mean·ing, de·means To conduct or behave (oneself) in a particular manner: demeaned themselves well in class. either our marriage or my gayness. My wife gave me a subscription to The Advocate to celebrate the anniversary of my disclosure to her, and I'd like to keep feeling welcome in its pages. Taylor Banks, via the Internet |
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