Service Economy: First-draft suggestions for a real draft proposal."FOR THE FIRST time in our history we are entering a war of significant size...without drafting young men to fight the threat," Charles Moskos Charles C. Moskos is a sociologist of the United States Military and a professor at Northwestern University. Described as the nation's "most influential military sociologist" by the Wall Street Journal (where his byline occasionally appears over op-ed pieces), Moskos has long been and Paul Glastris Paul Glastris is an American journalist and political columnist. Glastris is the current editor in chief of The Washington Monthly and was President Bill Clinton's chief speechwriter from September 1998 to the end of his presidency in early 2001. wrote recently in The Wasbington Monthly. For Moskos, a Northwestern University professor and author of the armed services' wildly successful "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, this is an intolerable irony. The article's toldja-so title-- "Now Do You Believe We Need A Draft?"--is the giveaway: After years of arguing for forceful social cohesion, Moskos joins the long list of pundits whose pet projects (in his case, Tojo-era mass conscription conscription, compulsory enrollment of personnel for service in the armed forces. Obligatory service in the armed forces has existed since ancient times in many cultures, including the samurai in Japan, warriors in the Aztec Empire, citizen militiamen in ancient ) have been magically justified by September 11. Sadly, there's even less to the justification than meets the eye. The armed forces show a distinct lack of interest in a new draft (an inconvenience Moskos chalks up to institutional rigidity), and arguably have reached a state of professional specialization that renders conscripted legions unnecessary or problematic. It's hard to argue that forcing the services to feed, clothe, house, and equipmassive new numbers of post-pubescents would have had anything but a deleterious impact on our ability to wage war in Afghanistan. Thus, Moskos is pushing a free-ranging national service. In the spirit of team-spirit busybody bus·y·bod·y n. pl. bus·y·bod·ies A person who meddles or pries into the affairs of others. busybody Noun pl -bodies a meddlesome, prying, or officious person and Bowling Alone author Robert Putnam, Moskos conceives an era of impressment impressment, forcible enrollment of recruits for military duty. Before the establishment of conscription, many countries supplemented their militia and mercenary troops by impressment. for both civilian and military duties. If conscripts don't want to serve in the military, they can participate in civilian projects to be named later. While Congress remains indifferent to the idea, a rogue's gallery of retired colonels and politicians has answered Moskos' call; and as the push for a draft gathers steam, we see looming administrative head-aches. Sure, the information society can never have enough riveters and air raid wardens, but how many kids can America really keep busy with homeland defense or highway median beautification beau·ti·fy tr. & intr.v. beau·ti·fied, beau·ti·fy·ing, beau·ti·fies To make or become beautiful. beau ? Ordinarily we'd reject the draft on general principles. But these are extraordinary times. It's time to pitch in with some suggestions for how America's new generation of draftees can fill what will no doubt be their many idle hours: * Man the Butterball Hotline over holidays. * Provide discount dog-walking to the Dept. of Homeland Defense. * Assit Lynne Cheney's Council of Trustees and Alumini in interviewing 5,000 agronomy agronomy (əgrŏn`əmē), branch of agriculture dealing with various physical and biological factors—including soil management, tillage, crop rotation, breeding, weed control, and climate—related to crop production. professors suspected of holding unpatriotic opinions. * Ride Amtrak Amtrak, the National Railroad Passenger Corp., authorized to operate virtually all intercity passenger railroad routes in the United States. Amtrak was created by Congress in 1970 in response to more than two decades of continuous operating deficits by privately run . * Guard against terrorist attempts to introduce bio-chemical agents into the water at Sea World. * Distribute copies of Bowling Alone to the homeless. * Fill congressional representatives' seats during C-SPAN broadcasts. * Send daily letters to the editor that begin, "Wake up, America!" * Inspect Mr. Softee trucks for cross-pollination of rainbow and chocolate jimmies. * Visit Ground Zero, site of the worst terrorist attack in history. * Visit Ground Zero, soon-to-open chain of theme restaurants owned by Sly, Bruce, and Arnold. * Monitor Internet postings for misuse of the who/whom distinction. * Become slaves for the elderly. * Ghostwrite ghost·write v. ghost·wrote , ghost·writ·ten , ghost·writ·ing, ghost·writes v.intr. To work as a ghostwriter. v.tr. To write (a speech, for example) as a ghostwriter. three-dot "Nobody asked me, but..." columns for free Weekly Shopper circulars around the nation. * Provide "local color" for visitors to New York City New York City: see New York, city. New York City City (pop., 2000: 8,008,278), southeastern New York, at the mouth of the Hudson River. The largest city in the U.S. by dressing as Hasidim, construction workers, and Hare Krishnas. * Revise America's fading poetry fad with a grassroots poetry slam campaign under the direction of U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins. * Become USO USO: see United Service Organizations. (UNIX Software Operation) AT&T's Unix division before it turned into USL. See Unix. magicians. * Assist producers of the various yellow pages in coordinating production and door-to-door delivery. * Form a cordon around George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch to assure that nobody gets in--or out. * Assist local law enforcement "Toys for Boxcutters" exchange programs. * Explain values of coerced patriotism and collective purpose to other draftees. Tim Cavanaugh is a writer living in San Francisco. |
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