Seafood: what a catch.

We're b-a-a-a-c-k! The Food Cops are here to tell you what else you shouldn't eat. Just kidding. We've finally got some good news.

We know what you're thinking. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that broiled seafood is healthy and fried seafood isn't.

Okay, smarty pants. See how well you do on this mini-quiz:

1. Which has the least fat? A serving of: (a) broiled salmon, (b) baked stuffed shrimp, (c) fried shrimp, or (d) blackened catfish?

2. Which is the healthiest: (a) broiled flounder with a plain baked potato, an undressed salad, and a couple of unbuttered rolls, (b) spaghetti with tomato sauce, or (c) Szechuan shrimp with rice?

3. Which has more artery-clogging fat: (a) a fried seafood combo with tartar sauce, french fries, cole salw, and two buttered biscuits, (b) fettuccini alfredo, or (c) a chile relleno platter?

A cinch, huh? You probably don't even need to turn to page 6 for the answers.

The answers to our front-page quiz: d, a, b. Understand why and you'll know how to navigate the menu at your local seafood restaurant.

THE GOOD STUFF

No question about it. Seafood deserves its healthy rep.

True, some species carry a small, albeit serious risk of contamination (see "Clean Fish, Dirty Fish," p.8). But most--like flounder, cod, haddock, sole, shrimp, scallops, crabs, and clams--are exceptionally low in fat and some are loaded with B-vitamins, iron, zinc, selenium, and copper.

Salmon and catfish are fattier (ounce for ounce they're about the same, but catfish "won" on our which-is-least-fatty quiz because servings of salmon are typically larger). Nevertheless, both are still low in artery-clogging fat and could be rich in omega-3 fats, which may help keep your arteries clear.

We say "could" because almost all catfish and trout, about 90 percent of Atlantic salmon (but only ten percent of chinook, coho, and sockeye salmon), and 50 percent of shrimp are now raised on "fish farms," at least for part of their lives.

While there, they dine on grains, not smaller fish and plankton. That means fewer omega-3s...but is also means a steady supply to restaurants. And it may be the only way to counter the dwindling supply--and rising cost--of wild species, which are being fished into extinction.

So take your pick: broiled, baked, blackened, grilled, or steamed. As long as you don't get it stuffed or smother it in cheese, cream, butter, or tartar sauce, any shellfish or low-fat fish is, well, low in fat, even if the chef adds a little margarine or butter to keep it from sticking to the grill or pan.

Avoiding fried seafood also means avoiding runaway sodium numbers. Only a few shellfish, like Alaska king crab, are high in salt, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. A three-ounce serving has almost 1,000 mg of sodium before the chef even thinks about seasoning.

No, seafood isn't low in cholesterol, but only shrimp has more than usual for flesh, whether it's chicken, turkey, pork, or beef. Like lobster, clams, and crab, shrimp are so low in saturated fat--you can't get much lower than zero--that they're tough to criticize.

Add unadorned sides like a plain baked potato, an undressed salad (except for lemon or vinegar), and a couple of unbuttered rolls and you've got a 600-some calorie meal (that's low for restaurants) with half the fat of the lowest-fat Chinese or Italian dishes like Szechuan shrimp and spaghetti with tomato sauce.

And for once, you've got a shot at a restaurant meal that isn't sky-high in sodium. That's tough--heck, next to impossible--at most Chinese, Italian, and Mexican eateries.

SUICIDES

Not crazy about unadorned side dishes? Watch out

Use the full four-tablespoon serving of sour cream plus two pats of butter on your baked potato and you might as well get the fries. Go for the rice pilaf and you'll keep the fat to a minimum, but the sodium hits the roof.

That's not all. Think of each biscuit as a salted dinner roll with a pat of butter already added. And picture your salad with the usual four tablespoons of dressing as three times fattier than a typical half cup of cole slaw.

The solution? Simple. Use just one tablespoon of sour cream on the potato, a tablespoon of reduced-calorie Italian dressing on your salad, and just one pat of butter on your rolls (see the Good Seafood Dinner in "Cuisine vs. Cuisine" on page 9). That boosts the fat to the spaghetti or Szechuan shrimp range (still pretty good). But at least the sodium doesn't hit four digits.

THE BAD STUFF

It's not just that fried seafood is fatty. (You knew that.) It's the kind of fat it contains.

Remember those nasty trans fats that help make margarine and shortenings more solid than oils? Studies suggest that they'll raise your cholesterol about as much as saturated fats do (see November 1993, p. 10).

When several Red Lobster restaurants told us that their frying fat was a solid soap-like block, we sent our fried items off to be analyzed for trans. The result: trans roughly equaled saturated fat, which doubled the artery-clogging fat in the fried items.

That's how a fried seafood platter with all the trimmings rivals even the notorious fettuccini alfredo and chile relleno platter in the coronary department. Alfredo still leads the grease pack, but the seafood platter is right on its tail (see "Cuisine vs. Cuisine," p. 9).

Of course, many of the restaurants we went to use liquid partially hydrogenated shortening. That means their fried food has less trans than food from Red Lobster's solid blocks, but more trans than food cooked in real vegetable oil. It also means that their numbers are somewhat better than our averages; Red Lobster's are worse.

Makes you wonder whether a few thousand letters (hint, hint) to Lobster President Jeff O'Hara (Red Lobster, 5900 Lake Ellenor Drive, Orlando, Florida 32809) might convince the General Mills subsidiary to switch to a less-damaging liquid shortening or--better yet--real oil.

If some independent restaurants can do it, why can't the only national chain?

FISHING FOR NUMBERS

Here's the scoop on the food we analyzed.

We've ranked the dishes within each category from lowest to highest percent of calories from fat. That way they're not subject to the portion size your restaurant serves. The percent of calories from fat and grams of fat in each dish are in parentheses following its name.

APPETIZERS

New England Clam Chowder (26%--7 grams of fat). If your restaurant uses cream or butter, it could be worse. Eat the chowder and you blow almost two-thirds of a day's sodium before touching your main course. It's got 19 times more sodium than the saltines served on the side.

ENTREES

Broiled or Grilled Scallops (17%--3 grams of fat). Wow, is that fat low. But the sodium was so high--almost 1,000 mg--that we wondered whether some of those scallops weren't "surimi," a salted imitation shellfish made from pollock.

Broiled Low-fat Fish (21%--5 grams of fat). How about that haddock, cod, scrod (baby cod), sole, and flounder? Are they low in fat or what? It's hardly worth asking--even we don't--to hold the "butter" (butter-flavored margarine, most likely). That would cut the fat to a puny two grams for a six-ounce serving.

Fried Fish (41%--24 grams of fat). More than double the calories and sodium and five times the fat of broiled. The artery-clogging fat in nine ounces of fried fish outstrips not only a serving of catfish or salmon, but also a 7-oz. trimmed sirloin steak. Use all four tablespoons of tartar sauce that most restaurants serve and the fat doubles again. Oh yeah, expect more than a third of your entree to be breading or batter.

"Blackened" Catfish (44%--15 grams of fat). Twice as salty as broiled fish. Almost all the fat comes from the catfish, but it's not too saturated. If the fish is truly blackened--that is, seared in a fiery-hot skillet--the charring can create heterocyclic aromatic amines (HAAs), which may slightly increase your risk of cancer. The good news: your restaurant probably "blackens" its fish with spices and ordinary broiling. Not to worry.

Broiled Salmon (45%--21 grams of fat). Half a day's cholesterol (a typical half-pound serving of any fish will do that) and close to a third of your daily fat quota. It's still low in saturated fat, though.

Fried Shrimp (46%--26 grams of fat). An average order packs a day's worth of cholesterol, but some restaurants serve much more. Want to slash the fat by about 90 percent? Get it unbreaded and grilled. Not exactly deprivation, eh?

Fried Seafood Combo (47%--50 grams of fat). Almost a pound of fried fish, shrimp, clams, and scallops. You can kiss goodbye a day's artery-clogging fat and cholesterol, three-quarters of a day's fat and sodium, and half a day's calories. Add tartar sauce and the fat's equal to 32 Chicken McNuggets.

Fried Clams (51%--47 grams of fat). Why not just eat fried breading? Most restaurants serve only a smidgen of clam "strips" anyway. (One restaurant sold us less than an ounce of clams wrapped in nine ounces of breading; the average order was 40 percent clams and 60 percent breading.) Dip your order in tartar sauce and you end up with about as much fat as five medium orders of McDonald's French Fries, not to mention a day's sodium.

Baked Stuffed Shrimp (57%--30 grams of fat). Two-thirds stuffing and one-third shrimp. What with all that "buttery" seafood-studded bread stuffing, you're talking almost half a day's fat and a day's cholesterol.

Seafood Casserole (60%--43 grams of fat). Some combination of shrimp, scallops, and crab swimming in all that cream (a.k.a. newburg, thermidor, alfredo) or cheese sauce (au gratin) means you've just used up all of today's cholesterol and saturated fat (and half of today's sodium).

ORDERING TIPS

1. Keep the fat down. Order your seafood broiled, baked, grilled, blackened, or steamed.

2. Hold the fries. Get the baked potato topped with just one tablespoon of sour cream.

3. Cut the cole slaw and regular salad dressing. Go for the reduced-calorie dressing or--better yet--lemon juice or vinegar (they're less salty).

4. Bye-bye biscuits. Dinner rolls have less fat and sodium.

5. Sayonara salt. Clam chowder, rice pilaf, french fries, tartar sauce, and breading send the milligrams--and perhaps, someday, your blood pressure--soaring.

HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS

We purchased take-out portions of 14 popular appetizers, side dishes, and entrees at 32 mid-priced seafood restaurants in Boston, Chicago, Los angeles, Seattle, and Washington, D.C. Then we made a "composite" out of nine samples of each dish (equal portions of nine restaurants' fried fish, for example) and shipped them to independent laboratories to be analyzed for calories, fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium. Fried foods were also analyzed for trans fat. We didn't analyze steamed shellfish (lobster, clams, crab, and shrimp) because --except for added seasoning--the numbers were readily available from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Clean Fish, Dirty Fish

Government inspectors check every beef, pork, and poultry carcass before it leaves the plant. Seafood plants get checked, oh, maybe once every two or three years.

While that's not exactly a comforting thought, it's no reason to think of beef, pork, etc., as healthier than seafood. After all, your risk of a heart attack far outweighs the risk of getting sick from contaminated fish. Nevertheless, here are some ways to protect yourself.

1. You're safest with lean fish like cod, flounder, haddock, Pacific halibut, ocean perch, pollock, and sole (harmful chemicals accumulate in the fat). Catfish, salmon (except those caught in the Great Lakes), and cooked shellfish are also generally okay.

2. Never eat raw shellfish like oysters, clams, and mussels. They could contain bacteria and viruses that cause hepatitis or gastroenteritis. The elderly, pregnant women, and people with cancer, diabetes, kidney or liver problems, and AIDS are at greatest risk.

3. Eat swordfish, shark, or fresh tuna steaks no more than once a week. And if you could become pregnant during the next year, keep it to no more than once a month. That lessens your exposure to mercury, which attacks nerve cells and can result in numbness, loss of coordination, and hearing and visual problems.

4. While canned tuna can also contain mercury, it has far lower levels than the large tuna that are made into fresh tuna steaks or served as sushi. As long as you don't eat more than about two medium-size cans a week (six typical tuna salad sandwiches), don't worry.

5. In tropical areas, locally caught barracuda, grouper, amberjack, and snapper can cause ciguatera poisoning. It's a problem in Florida, the Caribbean, and especially Hawaii. You can also get scombroid poisoning from fresh tuna, swordfish, bluefish, and mahi mahi. They can cause symptoms like severe diarrhea, vomiting, difficulty breathing, open skin sores, and "hot-cold inversion" (for example, if hot coffee tastes cold and ice cream tastes hot).

6. Bluefish are large, fatty, and migratory. Each increases the odds that they're contaminated, often by PCBs, which are carcinogens that contribute to learning problems in children. They're also the fish most likely to contain the carcinogen dioxin. Lake trout and other freshwater fish caught in inland lakes suffer from the same two problems. The less of them you eat, the better. Women who could become pregnant should avoid them altogether.

GO FISH

We've listed the foods we had tested, some other popular dishes for which numbers were readily available, and condiments. Each category is ranked from lowest to highest percent of calories from fat.

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